06/03/03: Is being gay a choice?

[juju]

I have these two friends, Janice and David. I've known them for a little over 10 years. They're Christian, but I don't hold that against them. They're not the sort of folk that sing in church every Sunday. They follow their own moral code, but they don't shove their noses in everybody's else's business like the church folk do. When first I met them, they lived together, but were just friends.

I later learned that David was gay, but denied it to himself because he believed it to be a sin. When he became a Christian, he gave up his homosexual ways and became celibate. Jan and David both believe very strongly that he's not gay, despite his homosexual experiences. Being gay is a choice, and he's chosen not to be.

Several years later, Jan and David got married. Not too long after, a baby followed.

A couple years after, Jan messages me and tells me they're having problems. He doesn't like sex, she says, and they've only had it 10-15 times in several years. She tells me it's clear by the expressions on his face that he doesn't like sex, and that he prefers to masturbate. She's insanely frustrated, and believes herself to be a worthless, inadequate woman who can't even please her own man. What little self-confidence she had has been completely obliterated, as she completely blames herself for everything. To be fair, she does say that he's selfish for not trying.

I asked her if she still believed that being gay was a choice, and she said yes, that the problem was that he just wasn't trying hard enough. Now, she doesn't know what's going to happen.

I thought it'd be interesting to see what you guys thought. Maybe you could offer some insight? She also asked me to put up this poll, so vote accordingly!