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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 04-10-2006, 11:13 PM   #1
smoothmoniker
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Top 10 Worst Reasons To Have A Kid

10. Can’t get into sweet Burger King playland ball-pit without one.

9. MySpace profile looked lame with friend count at “4,999”.

8. Well, somebody is gonna have to avenge your untimely death in a drunken bar brawl.

7. Looking to sell naming rights to GoldenPalace.com.

6. Your cult leader insisted.

5. Two words: Instant Carpool

4. Wife refuses to listen to your angry diatribes about post-modern art. Kid has no choice.

3. Potential kidney donor.

2. Seemed like the best way to quell media rumors about your impeding breakup with Tom Cruise.

1. Already spent that sweet “Dependent Tax Credit” on World of Warcraft weapons upgrade.
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Old 04-11-2006, 12:14 AM   #2
Beestie
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...So I can use the HOV lanes. Its ok. I leave the car running and a box of Cheerios next to the car seat while I'm at work.

...So I can meet the new pre-school teacher. Grow faster, damnit!

...Well, somebody's got to cut the damn grass and it ain't gonna be me.

...Because I can't figger out how to work this new internet thingy. Damn kids are born knowin this stuff.

...Gator bait.


You know, the problem with knowing that your going to hell is that after that, doing more stuff that makes you go to hell - well, they can only send you there once so...
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Old 04-11-2006, 12:37 PM   #3
Kitsune
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I know plenty of people that had kids simply because they love babies and wanted the attention. Strangely, it never seemed to fully sink in that babies don't stay babies forever, nor did they seem to realize that children have a tendancy to drain wallets.

The first problem is usually overcome by simply having another, which compounds problem #2. Sad.
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Old 04-11-2006, 11:08 PM   #4
xoxoxoBruce
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And they keep making those babies until they have grandbabies to get their fix.
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Old 04-13-2006, 12:13 AM   #5
tw
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Eleventh worst reason to have a kid:
So I can name him Sue.
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Old 04-13-2006, 12:31 AM   #6
Elspode
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#1 Worst Reason to Have a Kid:

Hunger
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Old 04-13-2006, 12:57 AM   #7
ashke
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"My daddy left home, when I was three..." -- A boy named sue, great example of reason(s) not to have kids...
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Old 04-13-2006, 01:11 AM   #8
NoBarkDawg
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tw
Eleventh worst reason to have a kid:
So I can name him Sue.

...love that song!
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Old 04-13-2006, 07:07 AM   #9
Griff
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12) to keep Social Security afloat.
13) to show how good a ball player you could have been.
14) to prove that they pretty much raise themselves.
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Old 04-13-2006, 08:33 PM   #10
Clodfobble
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15) To prove to your parents it ain't that hard.
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Old 04-15-2006, 12:02 PM   #11
skysidhe
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16: To fulfill your continuing desire to play dress up dolls.
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Old 04-15-2006, 01:07 PM   #12
ashke
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17) Because you wanted something to fit into those baby handknits.
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Old 04-15-2006, 10:33 PM   #13
footfootfoot
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what about the old tried and true:
"it will help cement our rapidly crumbling marriage?"

My fave is that you don't have to worry about getting her pregnant, (because she already is, for nine months anyway)
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Old 04-23-2006, 02:07 PM   #14
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In order to attract the attention of girls. "Aww, such a cute baby. Is he/she/it yours?"
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Old 04-30-2006, 01:48 AM   #15
rkzenrage
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The one I always hear from insecure young women.
"I just want someone to love me"
Which confuses the hell out of me... don't they remember what they said to their parents from 11-19?
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