Corrupted Wish - Page 15

glatt · 07-25-2007, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

(See how I did this without killing off anyone's family and friends?)

I'm an evil genie.

Shawnee123 · 07-26-2007, 10:23 AM

Genie, maybe. I don't know about evil.

Sorry DanaC. I posted right after you did. I couldn't come up with anything for a wish except part of a Stevie Wonder song, so fellow cellars please use DanaC's post for wish granting.

Griff · 07-26-2007, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

I wish I was ten years younger.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

I wish those days could come back for more.

You are both ten years younger but you have to live the same days the same way you did before.

I wish I had good hearing again.

smurfalicious · 07-26-2007, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff

I wish I had good hearing again.

You have good hearing again, but now you hear the voices in your head and they wont' they won't stop THEY WON'T STOP and you shove an icepick through your eardrums to make them shut up.

I wish I had penis in addition to my hoo-ha.

Uisge Beatha · 07-26-2007, 06:55 PM

Ah, variety is the spice of life. Your wish comes true and you are prepared for a whole new world of experiences. It looks like the sky's the limit, everything's coming up roses ...... until that freak accident at the HP printer. Mortified by the experience, you dash home from work and are promptly fired for your precipitous departure.

I wish someone would cook me some dinner.

DanaC · 07-26-2007, 07:05 PM

You lucky, lucky man, there's a woman who's willing to cook you dinner every night if you wish.....unfortunately the woman is Enid, the Townhall canteen cook. (one day I'll describe her culinery efforts in more detail).

I wish I had perfect skin.

Uisge Beatha · 07-27-2007, 06:52 PM

Oh, yes, that's a fine choice. We can take care of that right away.........There, it is magnificent! Your skin is breathtaking - smooth, supple alabaster. Helen of Troy would be envious, Aphrodite could not contain her jealousy, Guinevere would......ah, but I waste your time with such pedantic drivel. Allow me to proceed directly to the heart of the matter - you must step up onto this pedestal so that our technicians may ply their craft. Yes, your absolute beauty will be preserved for posterity, a museum piece frozen in time.

I wish it weren't so humid.

Sundae · 07-28-2007, 07:57 AM

It is no longer humid. New York is suddenly the most arid place in the world and you have to keep your mouth closed to prevent your tongue drying out. Your eyelids creak down over dry eyes, painfully taking the top layer of cells from your eyeballs every time. The moisture is leeched from your skin and it begins to crack and sores appear all over you. And no-one can grow lentils any more so on top of everything you're constipated.

I wish I had internet access 24/7

Uisge Beatha · 08-04-2007, 10:19 AM

Brilliant bit about the lentils, Sundae!

Sundae Girl? Sure, we remember her. Ah, she was a beloved Dwellar. Once. Nobody knows where she is, now. You see, she managed to get herself a state of the art broadband internet connection. It was fast and she was always connected, all week long. That's when it all started, the lure of the cyberwild. Poor SG found herself constantly drawn in new directions and began surfing farther and farther. She learned so much and saw such marvelous things that she was ever-enthralled. She kept going and we lost touch. Now The Cellar has no more Sundae.

I wish I didn't smell that wretched cologne in which my coworker seems to bathe.

Spexxvet · 08-04-2007, 11:25 AM

Your coworker stops using cologne. In fact he stops using deodorant and stops bathing, too. And he has taken to rolling in really smelling things, the way a dog does. Now that's what you smell all day at work.

I wish the office manager wasn't around anymore.

Griff · 08-04-2007, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

I wish the office manager wasn't around anymore.

I've taken care of your office manager. Too bad you've got motive.

I wish Smoothmoniker would come home to the Cellar.

Urbane Guerrilla · 02-22-2008, 03:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

You finally get to the end of Sinfest only to have me lend you all three of his books. After you wade, bleary eyed through the books you discover Girl Genius here and here.

But no: now it's here.

Elspode · 02-22-2008, 07:57 AM

In a sudden flurry of posts, smoothmoniker returns to the Cellar.

Unfortunately, he is now a radical muslim cleric musician, and each and every Cellarite soon receives in the mail little bombs disguised as Britney Spears dolls.

I wish Winter would end.

lookout123 · 02-22-2008, 10:07 AM

Winter has ended. forever. No more snow, no more sleet, no more freezing nights. Unfortunately we now have to hear Al Gore yelling "I was right! I was right! I was right!" everytime we turn on the tv.

I wish I wasn't sick.

paddlegal · 02-22-2008, 01:16 PM

KaPow! You die of your illness.

But there is no hereafter and you face endless oblivion.

I wish there was no evil in the world.

07-26-2007, 10:23 AM	#212
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Genie, maybe. I don't know about evil. Sorry DanaC. I posted right after you did. I couldn't come up with anything for a wish except part of a Stevie Wonder song, so fellow cellars please use DanaC's post for wish granting. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

07-28-2007, 07:57 AM	#218
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	It is no longer humid. New York is suddenly the most arid place in the world and you have to keep your mouth closed to prevent your tongue drying out. Your eyelids creak down over dry eyes, painfully taking the top layer of cells from your eyeballs every time. The moisture is leeched from your skin and it begins to crack and sores appear all over you. And no-one can grow lentils any more so on top of everything you're constipated. I wish I had internet access 24/7 __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

08-04-2007, 11:25 AM	#220
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Your coworker stops using cologne. In fact he stops using deodorant and stops bathing, too. And he has taken to rolling in really smelling things, the way a dog does. Now that's what you smell all day at work. I wish the office manager wasn't around anymore. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

02-22-2008, 07:57 AM	#223
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	In a sudden flurry of posts, smoothmoniker returns to the Cellar. Unfortunately, he is now a radical muslim cleric musician, and each and every Cellarite soon receives in the mail little bombs disguised as Britney Spears dolls. I wish Winter would end. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

02-22-2008, 10:07 AM	#224
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	Winter has ended. forever. No more snow, no more sleet, no more freezing nights. Unfortunately we now have to hear Al Gore yelling "I was right! I was right! I was right!" everytime we turn on the tv. I wish I wasn't sick. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

07-26-2007, 06:55 PM	#215
Uisge Beatha Lecturer Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 945	Ah, variety is the spice of life. Your wish comes true and you are prepared for a whole new world of experiences. It looks like the sky's the limit, everything's coming up roses ...... until that freak accident at the HP printer. Mortified by the experience, you dash home from work and are promptly fired for your precipitous departure. I wish someone would cook me some dinner.

07-26-2007, 07:05 PM	#216
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	You lucky, lucky man, there's a woman who's willing to cook you dinner every night if you wish.....unfortunately the woman is Enid, the Townhall canteen cook. (one day I'll describe her culinery efforts in more detail). I wish I had perfect skin.

07-27-2007, 06:52 PM	#217
Uisge Beatha Lecturer Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 945	Oh, yes, that's a fine choice. We can take care of that right away.........There, it is magnificent! Your skin is breathtaking - smooth, supple alabaster. Helen of Troy would be envious, Aphrodite could not contain her jealousy, Guinevere would......ah, but I waste your time with such pedantic drivel. Allow me to proceed directly to the heart of the matter - you must step up onto this pedestal so that our technicians may ply their craft. Yes, your absolute beauty will be preserved for posterity, a museum piece frozen in time. I wish it weren't so humid.

08-04-2007, 10:19 AM	#219
Uisge Beatha Lecturer Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 945	Brilliant bit about the lentils, Sundae! Sundae Girl? Sure, we remember her. Ah, she was a beloved Dwellar. Once. Nobody knows where she is, now. You see, she managed to get herself a state of the art broadband internet connection. It was fast and she was always connected, all week long. That's when it all started, the lure of the cyberwild. Poor SG found herself constantly drawn in new directions and began surfing farther and farther. She learned so much and saw such marvelous things that she was ever-enthralled. She kept going and we lost touch. Now The Cellar has no more Sundae. I wish I didn't smell that wretched cologne in which my coworker seems to bathe.

02-22-2008, 01:16 PM	#225
paddlegal Abhorrent Aberrant Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Central Arkansas Posts: 27	Sick KaPow! You die of your illness. But there is no hereafter and you face endless oblivion. I wish there was no evil in the world. __________________ Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

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