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Old 06-18-2015, 05:50 PM   #31
it
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How would that be any different with it? What's the logic here? "They might lie but not about whether they are gonna lie"...?

The only thing you might miss from not saying is it their attempt to emphasize how genuine the next statement is for them... If you happen to be horribly tone deaf.
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Old 06-18-2015, 06:09 PM   #32
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Dude, you guys are nuts. The statement has nothing to do with declaring honesty. It's a functional apology.

"I know society says I should keep this to myself, but I can't."

It's no different than, "I'm sorry, but..." or "The truth is..." or "Look, I don't want to be the bad guy here, but..."
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Old 06-18-2015, 06:25 PM   #33
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Very little of what we say is really redundant - maybe a few filler words or verbal tics. It might be redundant in terms of one level of meaning, but it still adds something to the communication.

I remember my German tutor at the Goethe Institute explaining the word 'doch' and how it is used to add emphasis or stress ( I believe the term is 'emphatic particle'). I barely remember the explanation - but I do remember him describing that kind of word or phrase as 'seasoning' language.

Always stuck with me that.
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Old 06-18-2015, 06:42 PM   #34
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True... But taking on the metaphor of seasoning, if what you say is cooking for those you are speaking too, shouldn't you judge it effect on them for whether it was a good choice seasoning? I mean, I like Marmite, but I do realize most people don't know what it is and most of those who do can't stand it, so I am probably not going to put Marmite sandwiches on something I made for everyone at a dinner party....

Though the comparison kind of breaks there - and I guess the breaking point makes it's own point. The meal is probably more for the eaters then the cook. The statement can often be more for the speaker then the audience. It might be redundant because it doesn't tell the listener anything new in the meaning of the statement, but it might say something about the state of the person saying it.
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Old 06-19-2015, 05:20 AM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble View Post
Dude, you guys are nuts. The statement has nothing to do with declaring honesty. It's a functional apology.

"I know society says I should keep this to myself, but I can't."

It's no different than, "I'm sorry, but..." or "The truth is..." or "Look, I don't want to be the bad guy here, but..."
Or my favourites, "Can I say something without you being offended...?" and "I don't mean to be rude, but..."
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Old 06-19-2015, 05:17 PM   #36
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I cut off a cow-orker once who always said, "I don't mean to be rude but..." I cut her off with "You do mean to be rude." and she was.
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Old 06-19-2015, 05:41 PM   #37
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My favourite, particularly in political meetings, was always 'with [the greatest] respect'. A barb on the blade.

It can also be used genuinely, of course - usually in the third person (with the greatest respect to X, I disagree with his assessment .... etc).
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Last edited by DanaC; 06-19-2015 at 05:49 PM.
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Old 06-19-2015, 06:16 PM   #38
it
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Griff View Post
I cut off a cow-orker once who always said, "I don't mean to be rude but..." I cut her off with "You do mean to be rude." and she was.
I love that!
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