On the subject of love letters

Riddil · 05-08-2006, 03:00 PM

Hrm, ok, first a quick back-story to set the stage...

Met a girl abroad, decided to give it a go, went well, blossomed nicely, logged a lot of frequent flyer miles, and now I'm currently pursuing getting a new position in her home city, at which point we plan on giving "the next level" a shot. Looking forward to it.

But... the thing that sets me off a bit is the "love letters". Don't get me wrong, she's not psycho, or spamming my inbox with them or anything, but occassionally she will send a very sweet, well-voiced love letter.

I'm not sure how to respond. I'm free enough with my emotions that I can express my sentiment openly. But I don't really need a full letter to express the length and breadth of my emotion. The truth is I feel like a cheese-ball when I write a long love letter. It feels so... plastic. I can say directly how I feel, or I can spend 4 paragraphs talking about the moon and flowers and all that jazz.

I appreciate her love letters, I just don't know how to respond. What's the etiquette here? Should I respond back with a gushing letter of my own? Or simply acknowledge her sentiment? And that brings up another set of disturbing questions...

If I respond with a long gushy love letter that I'm simply doing because I feel "it's appropriate", doesn't that just cheapen the whole thing? But what if I *don't* respond in kind, will that send off warning signals that maybe I just don't care enough?

Ah, the fickle female. A difficult beast to understand.

KinkyVixen · 05-08-2006, 03:22 PM

I think if you know each other well enough the length of your letter is of no relevance. In my opinion it would be the words and expression you use in which you voice yourself that weighs more heavily. From my experience, women are able to express how they feel in words more easily, not saying that men can't, just that they do, or I do at least...and am just looking for some sort of confirmation to my beliefs - whether I am way off base or not - in return. And more than that, just honesty in general. I definitely do not believe in saying something just because you feel like you need to say it back, or because you feel like it's expected. Just be who you are...say what you feel, and do it respectfully. As I said before, at least in my opinion, length has no relevance.

lumberpoet · 05-08-2006, 04:13 PM

I suggest that you write
a single verse or maybe two.
Something not too trite;
if you can't ryhme, you can haiku.

charlene · 05-08-2006, 04:17 PM

Well said, KinkyVixen. I think women tend to put their feelings into words more often than men do, and sometimes men just don't understand the fact that it's just simply a statement of feelings.

Reply with what you feel, not what you think is expected. I, for one, find a few words much more meaningful than a whole page of words that I'm sure aren't from the heart.

DucksNuts · 05-08-2006, 05:05 PM

If I was the long love letter writing type, I wouldnt expect a similar letter in return.

Me, I'm the long waffley scattered letter writer and I am soooo glad I dont get like letters in return.

I would just avoid anything along the lines of "I concur" or "Me too"

Honestly, girls I know, like to know where they stand and if they can read about it in black & white...all the better.

Just say what you feel comfortable saying, dont jazz it up too much, if thats not the kinda person you are in real life.

Good Luck

limey · 05-08-2006, 05:17 PM

Doesn't sound like she's being fickle to me, riddil. Whatever you answer choose your words more carefully than that!

Beestie · 05-09-2006, 05:53 AM

Don't write anything back. Send a package of goodies instead. Not necessarily expensive ones, just fun ones that play off something between you two and show that you are thinking about her. And mail them in a huge box. And flowers. Send them sparingly and randomly. And not 1-800-flowers but google the florist closest to where she lives and tell the florist what you are up to and to throw in some chocolates from the chocolate shop next door.

thrillhouse · 05-09-2006, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by limey

Doesn't sound like she's being fickle to me, riddil. Whatever you answer choose your words more carefully than that!

i agree with limey. if you write a letter back, you may want to consider a thesaurus. just a suggestion.

curious as to why a "love letter" sets you off. as evidenced by your post, you articulate well. perhaps seeing emotions in black and white have an unsettling effect on you.

Trilby · 05-09-2006, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberpoet

I suggest that you write
a single verse or maybe two.
Something not too trite;
if you can't ryhme, you can haiku.

First of all, this is a fabulous idea (and a poem on it's own merit) but if you can't write any of your own, select a good one from a famous poet and send it on to her (please credit poet) OR you could begin a mild form of e-mail sex, which, is always, always fun.

I perfer the outrageous form of email sex, but, that's just moi.

Undertoad · 05-09-2006, 08:36 AM

That's it! - combine the poetry and outrageous email sex.

Girl I often think of you
when I wack to bust a nut.
Your booty drives me so insane
Let's do it in the butt.

charlene · 05-09-2006, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie

Don't write anything back. Send a package of goodies instead. Not necessarily expensive ones, just fun ones that play off something between you two and show that you are thinking about her. And mail them in a huge box. And flowers. Send them sparingly and randomly. And not 1-800-flowers but google the florist closest to where she lives and tell the florist what you are up to and to throw in some chocolates from the chocolate shop next door.

Excellent idea, Beestie. If you throw in something that she knows means a lot to you, I guarantee her heart will melt!

Trilby · 05-09-2006, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

That's it! - combine the poetry and outrageous email sex.

Girl I often think of you
when I wack to bust a nut.
Your booty drives me so insane
Let's do it in the butt.

You know,*SNIFF* some people wouldn't appreciate a ditty like that.

I'm not one of them.

Riddil · 05-09-2006, 04:52 PM

Eh, the "fickle female" comment wasn't about HER, it was about women in general. The whole basis of my original post was basically if I wrote a short to-the-point response I may get in trouble. If I write a long email I risk being a phoney.

So "fickle female" is nothing more than a mental sigh that should be translated, "Ah, I really wish I didn't have to think about things like this."

Of course, now you see why writing a long love letter can be such bad news for me! What I mean to say, and what I actually say don't always match up. I've written more than one "sweet" letter that's ended up getting me in hot water.

MaryMary · 05-09-2006, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

That's it! - combine the poetry and outrageous email sex.

Girl I often think of you
when I wack to bust a nut.
Your booty drives me so insane
Let's do it in the butt.

Goddammit! That made my coffee come out my nose!

WabUfvot5 · 05-09-2006, 08:40 PM

The sunlight dies
like the life in your eyes
your mouth full of mud
I shudder and cum blood.

Can you believe there are women who aren't impressed with that?!

05-08-2006, 03:00 PM	#1
Riddil Management Consultant Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 165	On the subject of love letters Hrm, ok, first a quick back-story to set the stage... Met a girl abroad, decided to give it a go, went well, blossomed nicely, logged a lot of frequent flyer miles, and now I'm currently pursuing getting a new position in her home city, at which point we plan on giving "the next level" a shot. Looking forward to it. But... the thing that sets me off a bit is the "love letters". Don't get me wrong, she's not psycho, or spamming my inbox with them or anything, but occassionally she will send a very sweet, well-voiced love letter. I'm not sure how to respond. I'm free enough with my emotions that I can express my sentiment openly. But I don't really need a full letter to express the length and breadth of my emotion. The truth is I feel like a cheese-ball when I write a long love letter. It feels so... plastic. I can say directly how I feel, or I can spend 4 paragraphs talking about the moon and flowers and all that jazz. I appreciate her love letters, I just don't know how to respond. What's the etiquette here? Should I respond back with a gushing letter of my own? Or simply acknowledge her sentiment? And that brings up another set of disturbing questions... If I respond with a long gushy love letter that I'm simply doing because I feel "it's appropriate", doesn't that just cheapen the whole thing? But what if I don't respond in kind, will that send off warning signals that maybe I just don't care enough? Ah, the fickle female. A difficult beast to understand. __________________ He who dares, wins, my son. He who dares! - SAS Boredom: the desire for desires. - Tolstoy

05-08-2006, 03:22 PM	#2
KinkyVixen Marching In! Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 580	I think if you know each other well enough the length of your letter is of no relevance. In my opinion it would be the words and expression you use in which you voice yourself that weighs more heavily. From my experience, women are able to express how they feel in words more easily, not saying that men can't, just that they do, or I do at least...and am just looking for some sort of confirmation to my beliefs - whether I am way off base or not - in return. And more than that, just honesty in general. I definitely do not believe in saying something just because you feel like you need to say it back, or because you feel like it's expected. Just be who you are...say what you feel, and do it respectfully. As I said before, at least in my opinion, length has no relevance. __________________ "Smile before bed.You'll sleep better."

05-08-2006, 04:13 PM	#3
lumberpoet forsooth Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 37	I suggest that you write a single verse or maybe two. Something not too trite; if you can't ryhme, you can haiku. __________________ "Have more than thou showest, speak less than thou knowest, lend less than thou owest". -William Shakespeare

05-08-2006, 05:17 PM	#6
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Doesn't sound like she's being fickle to me, riddil. Whatever you answer choose your words more carefully than that! __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

05-09-2006, 05:53 AM	#7
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	Don't write anything back. Send a package of goodies instead. Not necessarily expensive ones, just fun ones that play off something between you two and show that you are thinking about her. And mail them in a huge box. And flowers. Send them sparingly and randomly. And not 1-800-flowers but google the florist closest to where she lives and tell the florist what you are up to and to throw in some chocolates from the chocolate shop next door. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

05-08-2006, 04:17 PM	#4
charlene Future world traveller Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: wrong side of the planet Posts: 24	Well said, KinkyVixen. I think women tend to put their feelings into words more often than men do, and sometimes men just don't understand the fact that it's just simply a statement of feelings. Reply with what you feel, not what you think is expected. I, for one, find a few words much more meaningful than a whole page of words that I'm sure aren't from the heart.

05-08-2006, 05:05 PM	#5
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	If I was the long love letter writing type, I wouldnt expect a similar letter in return. Me, I'm the long waffley scattered letter writer and I am soooo glad I dont get like letters in return. I would just avoid anything along the lines of "I concur" or "Me too" Honestly, girls I know, like to know where they stand and if they can read about it in black & white...all the better. Just say what you feel comfortable saying, dont jazz it up too much, if thats not the kinda person you are in real life. Good Luck

05-09-2006, 08:36 AM	#10
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	That's it! - combine the poetry and outrageous email sex. Girl I often think of you when I wack to bust a nut. Your booty drives me so insane Let's do it in the butt.

05-09-2006, 04:52 PM	#13
Riddil Management Consultant Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 165	Eh, the "fickle female" comment wasn't about HER, it was about women in general. The whole basis of my original post was basically if I wrote a short to-the-point response I may get in trouble. If I write a long email I risk being a phoney. So "fickle female" is nothing more than a mental sigh that should be translated, "Ah, I really wish I didn't have to think about things like this." Of course, now you see why writing a long love letter can be such bad news for me! What I mean to say, and what I actually say don't always match up. I've written more than one "sweet" letter that's ended up getting me in hot water. __________________ He who dares, wins, my son. He who dares! - SAS Boredom: the desire for desires. - Tolstoy

05-09-2006, 08:40 PM	#15
WabUfvot5 Operations Operative Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 634	The sunlight dies like the life in your eyes your mouth full of mud I shudder and cum blood. Can you believe there are women who aren't impressed with that?!

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