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Old 05-20-2014, 04:27 AM   #166
jenny9917
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Amazing!
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Old 05-20-2014, 11:18 AM   #167
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Paddlefish are among the largest and longest-living species of freshwater fishes and are distinguished by their very large mouths and a paddle-shaped snout that is about one-third their body length.
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Old 05-28-2014, 12:06 PM   #168
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This doesn't really belong in "cool anything", it is decidedly uncool. What I'm talking about is throwing a ball. Or, rather the inability to throw a ball. Come on, now, it's a ball!!

I understand that some people can't throw a ball. In that situation why, WHY, would you ever agree to throw out the first pitch at a baseball game? In front of a huge crowd, on TV, even?

What makes it even worse is when it's a guy. Even worse than that, is when the person is a professional athlete.

Here's Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson, throwing out the first pitch (with added commentary):



Yeah, 'Fiddy' throws like a little girl.

Mark Wahlberg? Throws like a guy having a grand mal seizure...Carl Lewis? Throws like a little girl throwing with the wrong hand...Baba Booey? Throws like a little girl with no hands. I will bet, that somewhere in America is a little girl with no hands that throws better than Baba Booey.



Has this ever happened:

MLB: "Would you like to throw out the first pitch?"

This should the thought pattern that occurs next:

Non-thrower: Uh-oh, I bet that involves throwing a ball. I can't throw a ball. I'll embarrass myself, and my friends. In front of a crowd. In front of a potentially huge crowd. In front of millions watching on tv.

Non-thrower: "I'll do it."

Now, when this all comes together, it's arranged well ahead of time. Many schedules have to be accommodated. What I'm getting at is that these folks have plenty of time to learn to throw a ball. Do they practice? No.

Dumbasses.
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Last edited by Gravdigr; 05-28-2014 at 12:18 PM.
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Old 05-28-2014, 04:16 PM   #169
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Practice? Celebrity A practices, drills it close to the plate, gets on the evening news.
Celebrity B doesn't practice, drills the right field ball girl in the head, gets on the evening news all over the world, and on all the weekend sports wrap-ups, then goes viral on youtube with 73 billion hits.
Who's agent do you want to be?
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Old 05-28-2014, 05:22 PM   #170
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I wanna be the agent of the person that can throw a fucking ball.

I don't want to be associated with the person who can't throw a fucking ball.
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Old 05-28-2014, 05:36 PM   #171
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Fine, if they're going to throw a ball for a living.
But if they are going to make a living by being a celebrity, like most of the first pitch fools, you'd starve.
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Old 05-29-2014, 10:36 AM   #172
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xoB is right, Grav. I don't even have the TV on, or YouTube, only the radio, NPR not TMZ , and I've heard this story. As you can imagine, it's not really a story made for radio.... And yet, the throw was *so bad*, we're talking about it, talking about "Fiddy-cent" (I know it's spelled 50 cent, but the reporter even got the pronunciation right).

I kinda want to see it. :-$




Ps, I don't know what a smilie with a dollar sign means, really, but $$$$$ seemed apropos.
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Old 05-29-2014, 10:49 AM   #173
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I kinda want to see it. :-$
It's in the video a couple posts up above.
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Old 05-30-2014, 03:09 PM   #174
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Or, you could just watch former NHL-er Joe Sakic make a hole in one, and earn $500,000 for the LiveStrong Foundation, and $500,000 for hisowndamnself:

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Old 06-01-2014, 02:13 AM   #175
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I wanna be the agent of the person that can throw a fucking ball.

I don't want to be associated with the person who can't throw a fucking ball.
Here's a comparison.
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Old 06-01-2014, 12:55 PM   #176
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G.W. - dead center of the strike zone. I saw when he threw the first pitch for the World Series after 9/11. It's a very good story behind that pitch ("Mr. President, do not 'bounce' this pitch.", or something like that).

Nolan Ryan - 6 - 8 feet behind the batter? I call bullshit. Even when he's ninety, and in a wheelchair, Nolan Ryan's gonna put that ball across the plate. Verne Troyer outthrows Nolan Ryan? What planet was this on?
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Old 06-01-2014, 01:01 PM   #177
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Maybe Ryan was aiming at a reporter who had offended him.
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Old 06-01-2014, 01:31 PM   #178
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Heh, I just did a little reading on Mr. Ryan over at Wikipedia:

Quote:
Ryan also ranks high on the list for four "negative" records; he ranks first all-time in walks allowed (2,795), first in wild pitches (277), third in losses (292—most in the post-1920 live-ball era), and ninth in hit batters (158).[1] Ryan is also one of two pitchers in MLB history to give up ten grand slam home runs, including one to Dann Howitt, the next-to-last batter Ryan faced in his career.
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Old 06-05-2014, 11:37 AM   #179
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Let's go surfin'!!

In Alaska.

In The Cradle Of Storms, the Aleutian Islands.

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Old 06-07-2014, 12:30 PM   #180
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Maria Sharapova wins the French Open! Yay Maria!

http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/07/sport/...t=hp_inthenews
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