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The Sycamore Manifestos Random Acts of Senseless Coherence [Blog view]

 
 
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Old 09-29-2003, 05:44 PM   #1
elSicomoro
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Dave tried to kill me.

What really happened will be in another post. I'm going to...ummm..."Ham" this up a bit.

So, Dave tried to kill me this weekend. That's right...that no-good sonofabitch tried to do el sicómoro in...and hopefully he has failed.

So, it started with the "I'll go to the Rev show in DC with you if you come down" comment. You see! Right off the bat he tempts me with the good Reverend!

So, I decide to go to the show in DC since it's the Reverend and it's going to rock your cock off. But a 3 hour drive took almost 5 hours...and I was nearly killed on I-95 near College Park, MD: Some dumb fucking bitch was trying to use her cell phone, and nearly ran into another car who almost ran into me...good thing I was paying attention and hit the brakes in time.

Then, b/c his stupid ass and his friend wanted to wait for me for lunch, they didn't eat until late. So Dave pigfaced on lunch before I got down there, ruining an opportunity to eat pad gai. (He did a similar thing when UT and I were down there last month...the fucker.)

Then, when we decided on Mexican for dinner, we went to Tippy's Taco House in Fairfax. There, he proceeded to spike my food and drink and give me a case of monster diarrhea, which could have easily turned into cholera.

At the show, he paid this group of assholes to not move when I tried to get through. And he also paid the moron that was dancing in front of me.

(Now I know why he was checking his cell phone so often at the show.)

On the way back to his house, he tried to get me a hooker, by having two girls pose seductively at 14th and K Sts. NW, knowing that I like the full-figured gals.

Then, the final straw. He has me sleep in his computer/workroom, where I was attacked by vicious spiders. That cost me 7 hours of work, $15 at the doctors' office, $22.50 in parking costs in Center City, and has left me unable to walk properly. And if I miss work tomorrow, that's another 10 hours, b/c I'm not eligible for sick pay until October 12. But it'll all be worth it when I own that house in a year or so.

So, let this be a warning to all those who befriend Dave...don't trust this no good so-and-so any further than you can throw him. And he's a big guy, so you ain't gonna be throwing him very far.

Oh, and did I mention that he tried to steal my cell phone charger? The nerve of this guy!
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Old 09-29-2003, 05:44 PM   #2
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Okay, so what really happened?

Dave is not responsible for any of this. Not even the spider situation.

Yes, I apparently did get bitten by a spider or spiders--5 times. My doctor suspects that there was enough venom put into me to cause an allergic reaction, and the antibiotic I'm currently on for my sinus infection will apparently clear me up in a few days. As a precaution, he put me on Vioxx, told me to rest the leg for a few days and go on a gout diet (in case it is indeed a gout attack). But I can't walk properly--too much pain in my ankle joint to move my foot...can't even put a sock or shoe on. For a person that loves to walk, this sucks to the 55th power.

Once I got a doctor's appointment this morning, I decided to go into work for a few hours to clean some stuff up. Because of the train schedule and my walking ability, I drove. The closest parking lot is across the street from my building, and they are incredibly expensive. That $22.50 was for 3 1/2 hours. And there I am, trying to hustle across John F. Kennedy Blvd., with a work shoe on one foot and a slipper on the other, trying like mad to beat the light. Though I was in incredible pain, it was rather funny.

How I feel when I wake up tomorrow will determine whether I go to work or not. If I have it my way, I'll be there bright and early.

As far as the spiders, this was a basement. Spiders like basements. The room was pretty clean, and there was really nowhere else for me to sleep. *shrugs* What can you do? Freak incident.

Dave, you might want to do some spraying though, since Andrea sleeps close to the floor.

Oh, and I forgot my cell phone charger, like a big dummy...I'm getting really good at leaving shit at other people's houses. *nudges Wolf*
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Old 09-29-2003, 06:19 PM   #3
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Last time you guys were down, we decided not to go to Busara for mother fuckin' PAD GAI!!!!!!!!!!! because it was closed. We ate Chipotle instead, and it was good. I hadn't had lunch yet that day.
 
Old 09-29-2003, 06:33 PM   #4
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See what I mean? Stuntman.
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Old 09-29-2003, 09:08 PM   #5
Torrere
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that bastard!

The idiot woman on the cell phone must have been using her cell phone to receive instructions from dave. She might have been confirming you as the target.

Luckily, since she was on her cell phone, she wasn't paying attention, so she caused some traffic problems and you were able to escape.
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Old 09-29-2003, 11:03 PM   #6
warch
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Oh geeze.
You got me with the hobblin', one legged, slipper shufflin', spider chomped hustle visual. (Our T Money's a little nicked up, bless 'em.) Rest, you rock dog.
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Old 10-04-2003, 12:16 AM   #7
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Well, all is apparently normal again. Been walking pain-free for the last couple of days. Swelling is down in the leg. Life is good.

The Vioxx has been a wild ride though...

I believe a normal dose is 12.5 or 25mg. But until tonight, I've been popping a 50mg pill at dinnertime. And while I must give it mad props for pain relief, it leaves you nice and spaced out. Hopefully that won't occur with the 25mg dose I have to take starting tomorrow.

Shit, I've got that goofy feeling right now...I feel like I'm on the tail end of a pot high. Fucking crazy shit. Ah well...at least it's legal.
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Old 10-14-2003, 11:25 PM   #8
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I doubt he'll spray the basement for spiders. He already tries to kill me with mosquitoes... I think he's hoping I'll get West Nile.
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Old 10-15-2003, 01:32 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by sycamore
Shit, I've got that goofy feeling right now...I feel like I'm on the tail end of a pot high. Fucking crazy shit. Ah well...at least it's legal.
You've been talking to Rush again, haven't you ...

Everything okay at the bite site? No nectrotization of the tissue, is there?
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Old 10-15-2003, 10:04 AM   #10
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You know, the funny thing about the spider bites is, sycamore sure is ugly.
 
Old 10-15-2003, 02:00 PM   #11
elSicomoro
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Quote:
Originally posted by adny
I doubt he'll spray the basement for spiders. He already tries to kill me with mosquitoes... I think he's hoping I'll get West Nile.
You see people! And this is someone that lives with Dave! Thank God I only stayed one night!

And if he doesn't get you with vicious insects and arachnids, there's the constant smell of ass that emanates from him.
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Old 10-15-2003, 02:02 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by wolf
Everything okay at the bite site? No nectrotization of the tissue, is there?
Everything's fine in regards to that...the bites were gone by the end of that week.
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Old 10-15-2003, 09:08 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by sycamore


Everything's fine in regards to that...the bites were gone by the end of that week.
But the med's weren't, is that it?
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Old 10-15-2003, 09:11 PM   #14
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I still have a nice amount of Vioxx handy in case I want more happy fun time.
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