So here's the story

Aliantha · 08-19-2009, 05:27 PM

I wasn't quite sure how to start this thread or exactly what I wanted to say for a number of reasons, so it's just going to be a bit stream of consciousness.

I've been having some problems with Max almost right from birth. He has great difficulty feeding, and even now it can take over an hour to get him to have even 200 mls if he'll even have that much. By this stage he is supposed to be having over 1200mls/day, but I'm lucky if I can get 800mls into him, which is why I started him on solids a bit early (41/2 months), in the hopes that I could sneak formula into his food and he'd get a lot of his nutrients elsewhere. So anyway, it has worked somewhat, but it's still a stuggle every time it comes to feeding time which is of course about 5 times a day. I've tried all different combinations of formula and teats. Nothing seems to make much difference, so we struggle through with the one that works the least badly. To add to this difficulty, he has some movement issues. He strongly favours his left side, and doesn't really move his right side all that much, and certainly not the way he should. My brother works with one of the worlds premier cerebral palsy experts (who is unfortunately based in Prague) and because of this relationship my brother (who is a chiropractor by profession) who specializes in rehab therapy and in fact has a masters in the subject suggested that there is some cause for caution and that Max needs to be monitored. He has also given us a range of excercises to do with Max which should (hopefully) help develop those motor skills which are slightly lacking.

So anyway, all this has obviously caused me some stress (espeially the fighting over feeding) and that coupled with a husband who works a lot of hours and has even less luck with feeding the baby, has really made me feel quite isolated. Like I'm in a situation that seems endless. I mentioned about the memory blanks and things that I've been having, and on top of that, I've had a number of other emotional issues to the point where I've nearly lost the plot completely and it's been getting worse.

So, I went to the doctor yesterday. He says I've got post natal depression, most likely brought on by the ongoing issues with Max, so he's put me on medication do manage my moods and he's given me a referral to a pediatrician to try and get help with Max's feeding and to discuss the movement issues and where we go from here.

So that's the story.

Griff · 08-19-2009, 05:45 PM

Your story probably isn't that uncommon. Are there any support groups to get you out of the house? Try to keep your husband engaged at home without being too hard on him, lots of guys retreat into work when things are tough. Be strong lady.

Aliantha · 08-19-2009, 06:38 PM

Actually, when I explained all that had happened at the doctors yesterday Dazza suggested maybe he should quit his job and we'll sell the house and just live somewhere cheaper and he'll work from home. He's quite supportive but he's still a learner parent, so not really 'up there' in the skills department. I think he should keep his job though. I'm sure things are going to be better now there's some action happening, and the last thing I personally need right now is the stress of trying to sell a house.

eta: thanks for your thoughts Griff. I'll be sure to stay strong.

DanaC · 08-19-2009, 06:41 PM

I think the fact that you went and sought your doctor's opinion and help suggests that you've probably 'bottomed out' and are likely on your way to getting through it (in terms of the depression and feelings of isolation) Hope things get less fraught soon honey. *Hugs*

Aliantha · 08-19-2009, 06:44 PM

lol...I suppose you could call it bottoming out if you're tossing up between walking out on your family and popping a handful of pills. Actually, that wasn't really a lol so much as a wry half smile. But yeah, if it gets any worse we're all in big trouble.

DanaC · 08-19-2009, 06:57 PM

Well...I can't answer for your situation, but I doubt the depression will get worse. The fact that you're talking about is, I suspect, a good sign :P

Aliantha · 08-19-2009, 07:01 PM

I'm sure once I get help with Max's feeding everything will seem more manageable. Hopefully that'll happen some time over the next month or so or sooner if I'm lucky. The first pediatrician I tried has a 6 month waiting list and isn't even taking names at the moment. I told the receptionist my son might be dead by then without help. Probably not the right thing to say, but I was upset. Anyway, the GP is trying to find a ped who doesn't have such a long waiting list, although in one way that's a bother anyway. Maybe a doc with a short wait list isn't any good. It's a dilema.

monster · 08-19-2009, 07:35 PM

can't you go the the ped he had when he was born?

Aliantha · 08-19-2009, 08:28 PM

The only ped he saw was the day he checked out of hospital. Besides that it was all midwives and nurses and obs.

It's probably a different set up over here. If you go through public you just see the resident before you're allowed to leave the hospital. Anyway, it's just a matter of getting the referral from the GP and going along.

monster · 08-19-2009, 08:39 PM

so he's not registered with any ped right now? What about aiden and mav? (hope I remembered names correctly)

Aliantha · 08-19-2009, 08:58 PM

Nope he's not, and nor are Aden or Mav (nice work there). I guess it's just a different system over here. You go to the GP and if the issue is something specific or ongoing, then it's referred to a ped, particularly if you don't have private health cover. I've never had any reason to consider taking the older boys to a ped. They've been healthy as horses and ahead of the game in most areas of development, so it hasn't been necessary.

Clodfobble · 08-19-2009, 09:14 PM

I hope you hear some positive news soon Ali.

monster · 08-19-2009, 09:15 PM

oh right. more like the UK, then. bummer. can you get your GP to expedite it?

eta ignore that i see you have

monster · 08-19-2009, 09:16 PM

what about non-profit orgs? anyone there you can get on your side?

monster · 08-19-2009, 09:17 PM

can your brother help?

08-19-2009, 05:27 PM	#1
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	So here's the story I wasn't quite sure how to start this thread or exactly what I wanted to say for a number of reasons, so it's just going to be a bit stream of consciousness. I've been having some problems with Max almost right from birth. He has great difficulty feeding, and even now it can take over an hour to get him to have even 200 mls if he'll even have that much. By this stage he is supposed to be having over 1200mls/day, but I'm lucky if I can get 800mls into him, which is why I started him on solids a bit early (41/2 months), in the hopes that I could sneak formula into his food and he'd get a lot of his nutrients elsewhere. So anyway, it has worked somewhat, but it's still a stuggle every time it comes to feeding time which is of course about 5 times a day. I've tried all different combinations of formula and teats. Nothing seems to make much difference, so we struggle through with the one that works the least badly. To add to this difficulty, he has some movement issues. He strongly favours his left side, and doesn't really move his right side all that much, and certainly not the way he should. My brother works with one of the worlds premier cerebral palsy experts (who is unfortunately based in Prague) and because of this relationship my brother (who is a chiropractor by profession) who specializes in rehab therapy and in fact has a masters in the subject suggested that there is some cause for caution and that Max needs to be monitored. He has also given us a range of excercises to do with Max which should (hopefully) help develop those motor skills which are slightly lacking. So anyway, all this has obviously caused me some stress (espeially the fighting over feeding) and that coupled with a husband who works a lot of hours and has even less luck with feeding the baby, has really made me feel quite isolated. Like I'm in a situation that seems endless. I mentioned about the memory blanks and things that I've been having, and on top of that, I've had a number of other emotional issues to the point where I've nearly lost the plot completely and it's been getting worse. So, I went to the doctor yesterday. He says I've got post natal depression, most likely brought on by the ongoing issues with Max, so he's put me on medication do manage my moods and he's given me a referral to a pediatrician to try and get help with Max's feeding and to discuss the movement issues and where we go from here. So that's the story. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

08-19-2009, 05:45 PM	#2
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Your story probably isn't that uncommon. Are there any support groups to get you out of the house? Try to keep your husband engaged at home without being too hard on him, lots of guys retreat into work when things are tough. Be strong lady. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

08-19-2009, 06:38 PM	#3
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Actually, when I explained all that had happened at the doctors yesterday Dazza suggested maybe he should quit his job and we'll sell the house and just live somewhere cheaper and he'll work from home. He's quite supportive but he's still a learner parent, so not really 'up there' in the skills department. I think he should keep his job though. I'm sure things are going to be better now there's some action happening, and the last thing I personally need right now is the stress of trying to sell a house. eta: thanks for your thoughts Griff. I'll be sure to stay strong. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

08-19-2009, 06:44 PM	#5
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	lol...I suppose you could call it bottoming out if you're tossing up between walking out on your family and popping a handful of pills. Actually, that wasn't really a lol so much as a wry half smile. But yeah, if it gets any worse we're all in big trouble. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

08-19-2009, 07:01 PM	#7
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I'm sure once I get help with Max's feeding everything will seem more manageable. Hopefully that'll happen some time over the next month or so or sooner if I'm lucky. The first pediatrician I tried has a 6 month waiting list and isn't even taking names at the moment. I told the receptionist my son might be dead by then without help. Probably not the right thing to say, but I was upset. Anyway, the GP is trying to find a ped who doesn't have such a long waiting list, although in one way that's a bother anyway. Maybe a doc with a short wait list isn't any good. It's a dilema. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

08-19-2009, 07:35 PM	#8
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	can't you go the the ped he had when he was born? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

08-19-2009, 08:28 PM	#9
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	The only ped he saw was the day he checked out of hospital. Besides that it was all midwives and nurses and obs. It's probably a different set up over here. If you go through public you just see the resident before you're allowed to leave the hospital. Anyway, it's just a matter of getting the referral from the GP and going along. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

08-19-2009, 08:39 PM	#10
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	so he's not registered with any ped right now? What about aiden and mav? (hope I remembered names correctly) __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

08-19-2009, 08:58 PM	#11
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Nope he's not, and nor are Aden or Mav (nice work there). I guess it's just a different system over here. You go to the GP and if the issue is something specific or ongoing, then it's referred to a ped, particularly if you don't have private health cover. I've never had any reason to consider taking the older boys to a ped. They've been healthy as horses and ahead of the game in most areas of development, so it hasn't been necessary. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

08-19-2009, 09:14 PM	#12
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I hope you hear some positive news soon Ali. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

08-19-2009, 09:15 PM	#13
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	oh right. more like the UK, then. bummer. can you get your GP to expedite it? eta ignore that i see you have __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

08-19-2009, 09:16 PM	#14
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	what about non-profit orgs? anyone there you can get on your side? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

08-19-2009, 09:17 PM	#15
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	can your brother help? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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