The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Nothingland

Nothingland Something about nothing - game threads, diversions, time-wasters

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-13-2012, 10:10 AM   #7906
Trilby
Slattern of the Swail
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 15,654
Wow. Not to ignore you monster - i am sorry for your loss - but
just wow. Who knew thst IM and me are the very same person?

I've been in CBT since the cancer - what? Four years now? And still
it's a struggle. But worth it. Worth it.

I wishi could be more fluent here - damn this point and type thing!
drives me nuts and clogs my thought process but i just want
you all to know Esp. Mtp and IM how much you both have helped
me todsy. Hugs.
__________________
In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
—James Barrie


Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum
Trilby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2012, 08:59 PM   #7907
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
I am thankful for my real-life friends who schooled me on what I should do. Turns out the appropriate thing is to go to the visitation and skip the funeral. Because this is a full-on Catholic do. Visitation is about showing your support for the family of the deceased, funeral is for those who really knew the deceased. Or so they tell me. So that's what I'll do.
__________________
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
monster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2012, 07:51 AM   #7908
infinite monkey
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
That's true, monster. If it's someone I knew really well I will also attend the funeral, or instead of the visitation.

in state just means a 'viewing' as far as I can see.

(I hope you don't mind some levity: the first visitation my youngest niece went to really confused her. She tells us later "we went to visit him and he was already dead!)

So sorry for the loss of your friend's mother.
infinite monkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2012, 07:52 AM   #7909
infinite monkey
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brianna View Post
Wow. Not to ignore you monster - i am sorry for your loss - but
just wow. Who knew thst IM and me are the very same person?

I've been in CBT since the cancer - what? Four years now? And still
it's a struggle. But worth it. Worth it.

I wishi could be more fluent here - damn this point and type thing!
drives me nuts and clogs my thought process but i just want
you all to know Esp. Mtp and IM how much you both have helped
me todsy. Hugs.
Can you recommend someone for CBT? I've looked for someone who also takes my insurance...PM me if you can.

:hugs:
infinite monkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2012, 11:53 AM   #7910
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
Quote:
Originally Posted by monster View Post
I am thankful for my real-life friends who schooled me on what I should do. Turns out the appropriate thing is to go to the visitation and skip the funeral. Because this is a full-on Catholic do. Visitation is about showing your support for the family of the deceased, funeral is for those who really knew the deceased. Or so they tell me. So that's what I'll do.
Firstly, my sympathy to you.

As you know, we don't do the visitation thing here (open casket?)

I only know how to do the Catholic thing, which would be for anyone and everyone to go to the full-on Mass. People who simply attend the same church do that here, even if they only nodded to them across the aisle once, even people they knew years ago who saw the obituary in the Bucks Herald. Mum took me to a number of funeral Masses when Grandad was very ill. Shopping for ideas. The only real rule is to give up your seat if it ends up being standing room only and you know you were only a random acquaintance. Otherwise the more the merrier - better people who came in out of the rain than a poor send-off.

And everyone and anyone is welcome back to the house (or hall) afterwards. If you don't have a good reason not to attend, and don't, it's considered mildly rude - on a par with calling a new partner by an ex's name, say.

It's attending the graveside that's considered close friends and family only.
It's a terrible faux pas to intrude there.

Glad you got the right advice from the locals.
Turns out funerals are more cultural than religious in many ways.
__________________
Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac
Sundae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2012, 04:13 PM   #7911
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
Another friend confirmed visitation was the thing. I went, she was surprised and pleased to see me (it was a good 40 minute drive and she knows I think American funerals and funerals in general are a palaver). The poor woman is stuck there for SEVEN HOURS, forced to watch people pray by and kiss an embalmed made-up corpse that looks nothing like her mom (My friend is not religious)
__________________
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
monster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2012, 08:33 AM   #7912
henry quirk
maskless: yesterday, today, tomorrow
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,162
What pisses me off at the moment:

The unfortunate tendency of some (perhaps, many; perhaps most) to treat strangers with more kindness, civility, care, than a friend or loved family member.

Familiarity, it seems, indeed breeds a kind of contempt.
__________________
like the other guy sez: 'not really back, blah-blah-blah...'
henry quirk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2012, 08:44 AM   #7913
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
Sometimes it's justified though.

"Strangers are nicer to me than you are!"
"That's because strangers have no idea what a bitch you are."
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2012, 08:47 AM   #7914
anonymous
Operations Operative
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: in hiding
Posts: 578
I can still clearly hear the sound of my heart breaking when I was told by the person who was supposed to love me more than anyone else on earth that "People like you because they don't really know you. If they really knew you they would hate you."

It changed me, and not in a good way.
anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2012, 08:50 AM   #7915
henry quirk
maskless: yesterday, today, tomorrow
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,162
"Sometimes it's justified though."

Often, it's not.
__________________
like the other guy sez: 'not really back, blah-blah-blah...'
henry quirk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2012, 08:51 AM   #7916
henry quirk
maskless: yesterday, today, tomorrow
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,162
Anon

Did you tell this person to go fuck him- or her-self?
__________________
like the other guy sez: 'not really back, blah-blah-blah...'
henry quirk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2012, 08:54 AM   #7917
anonymous
Operations Operative
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: in hiding
Posts: 578
Probably. I probably got knocked around because of it. Maybe just some more verbal abuse. It's a time dead and gone but those words never leave my head.
anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2012, 08:54 AM   #7918
anonymous
Operations Operative
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: in hiding
Posts: 578
The saying 'we always hurt the one we love' is a buncha crap. We should cherish the ones we love.

Is it cuz they're more likely to stick around anyways?
anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2012, 08:59 AM   #7919
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
For the record, I'm not talking about family members. I firmly believe that your family is the only one you ever get, and deliberate cruelty is never justified. I guess I've just been in too many situations where other people felt I owed them something based on completely imaginary relationships between us. I would think you, henry, of all people, would be of the mindset that no one owes anyone anything.

Anyway, sorry. It's been a rough couple of weeks. I need to just shut up now.
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2012, 09:05 AM   #7920
henry quirk
maskless: yesterday, today, tomorrow
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,162
"Is it cuz they're more likely to stick around anyways?"

Probably. And: because one sticks around, one becomes taken for granted, and, with that, the inhibitions of the other fall and shit is sometimes heaped up.

Clod is, of course, right: sometimes it's justified...'course sometimes bashing a head in is justified...the exception is not the baseline.

And, with this topic, the baseline is, again, 'The unfortunate tendency of some (perhaps, many; perhaps most) to treat strangers with more kindness, civility, care, than a friend or loved family member.'

*shrug*

'nuff said.
__________________
like the other guy sez: 'not really back, blah-blah-blah...'
henry quirk is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
swiss


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 148 (0 members and 148 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:17 PM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.