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Old 07-05-2007, 01:56 PM   #16
rkzenrage
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Not hollow at all, it helps to get it out. More than you can know. Thank you for your kind word and just being there.
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Old 07-06-2007, 03:17 PM   #17
limey
Encroaching on your decrees
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland
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I'd like to second what bani said about suicide - it's awful to think that the help you offered wasn't enough.
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Old 07-07-2007, 07:24 PM   #18
BrianR
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Dallas, TX
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Not all suicide is bad

I have attended three suicides to date. All have been close friends. I held the hand of one all the way.

Two had cancers, one had AIDS.

All were within days of a natural death (debatable).

All went quietly and peacefully, in the presence of family and friends.

If I get a choice, THAT is how I want to go. Nothing left unsaid, goodbyes tendered ETC.


It's the wrist-slashing, hanging by a lamp cord, shotgun in the mouth kind that give me Willies!

Brian
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Old 07-09-2007, 12:31 PM   #19
Cicero
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RK- I understand you are in a lot of pain at times......
My fiance was in a lot of pain once and killed himself while I was at work. See how that sounds?
Please remember to be patient and to keep looking for a different method. Suicide only compounds problems and pain- this is one thing I can be sure of. Keep fighting. Besides-you seem like you still have a lot of spirit and fight left in you. (as evidenced by the mohawk poll)
Well there's "too much information" for you- but hopefully it's useful to someone out there.
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Old 07-10-2007, 05:58 PM   #20
rkzenrage
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It's not just the pain, it feels like the pain is stealing "me".
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Old 07-11-2007, 08:33 AM   #21
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
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Your pain hasn't stolen "you" from us. You still give us laughs and points to ponder and insight into things we may never have dealt with.

Being purely selfish myself, I'd request that you stick around for a long, long time.
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Old 07-11-2007, 08:19 PM   #22
yesman065
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We've had our disagreements rk, but I have always enjoyed your perspective and you have expanded my outlook on many issues - you have a unique ability to share a perspective that very very few of us would otherwise have. You have experiences and knowledge that would otherwise be lost. That is a great gift my friend - please keep on giving.
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Old 07-12-2007, 06:55 PM   #23
rkzenrage
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Last few days the "urge" seems to have passed. Oddly, I feel a lot more depressed. It is really strange now, all the colors of the world seem, somehow, dim.
I feel like I'm slipping into a hole.
I know I'm not making sense, I'm sorry about that.
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Old 07-12-2007, 06:58 PM   #24
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
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You're making sense. If the 'urge' has passed, then hopefully the depression will too. *smiles*
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Old 07-12-2007, 07:16 PM   #25
rkzenrage
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Here's hoping.
Pretending for my wife and son feels like swimming through concrete.
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Old 07-12-2007, 08:04 PM   #26
Griff
stick them with the pointy end
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 21,578
It sounds like a bad time, but you are holding up well here and I bet you're getting by at home as well.
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Old 07-12-2007, 08:22 PM   #27
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rkzenrage View Post
snip~Have fun Bruce.
I will when you give me something to have fun with.
Your medical condition is no more fun for me than it is for you.
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Old 01-02-2017, 06:09 PM   #28
Pico and ME
Are you knock-kneed?
 
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Pretending and putting up a front is exhausting. But i really feel like i have no other choice. The last thing I want to do is hurt others, to burden them. Knowing that they know that I will be leaving them is the most sorrowful part of this cancer thing. I have already decided that once my quality of life deteriates too much, I will end it. So that means, deciding to make that decision a few steps early while I am still able to do it.

Sorry for this morbidness.
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Old 01-02-2017, 06:16 PM   #29
xoxoxoBruce
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Deciding how you're going to handle your life, and other people, says you've already determined the outcome. Isn't that a little premature, and creating a self fulfilling prophecy?
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Old 01-02-2017, 07:19 PM   #30
Pico and ME
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Yeah, but my thoughts are running the gamut, in and out, over and under. I'm viewing all sides. I just know I don't want to suffer needlessy. Its the control freak in me.
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“Seven Deadly Sins: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Science without humanity, Knowledge without character, Politics without principle, Commerce without morality, Worship without sacrifice.” – Mahatma Gandhi
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