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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 07-31-2013, 01:32 AM   #16
monster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZenGum View Post

Aside: the idea that a 16 year old "knows" what they want to do in terms of life approach (yuppie/bum/traveler/suburbanite), let alone field of study, is absurd. Some have firm beliefs, and a few of these do carry right through with it. Most chop and change and revise as they go. So, while this is a Big Decision, it's really at least half guess. Respect the things you're sure of, which in this case, seems to be swimming.
IKR -my BSC is computer Science and Math. NEVER will I use that in a professional capacity. WTF was I thinking? I'm way too claustrophobic to work I a cube
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Old 07-31-2013, 02:15 AM   #17
Aliantha
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Its more or less the norm here for high school graduates to go to a uni in their home town and stay at home till they at least finish their bachelors degree.

Only the really focussed kids go out of town for specific degrees.
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Old 07-31-2013, 05:55 AM   #18
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I can back up what Ali said - my niece in Brisbane never thought of going away to school. She lived at home and worked evening shifts to get through Uni.

It surprised me, but it is the norm over there.
She's left school pretty much without debt.

Moving away from the 'rents was considered one of the benefits of going to Uni amongst my friends, but in Leicester I met many people who'd either lived at home or with rellies while they went to Leicester University. I guess if you live in a city with a good University it does make sense.

Good luck to Hebes anyway.
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Old 07-31-2013, 06:54 AM   #19
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Is it really not that big a deal as long as you get a degree? .
In my experience, this is correct. Some schools may have more prestige, but its kinda like paying extra money for the name brand product when the store brand is the exact same thing without the fancy marketing.

The Princeton Review website has a best fit college search. I started my high school juniors there, and used it myself when it came time to choose a college.
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Old 07-31-2013, 06:56 AM   #20
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Staying close makes sense financially but I'm with monster, kids have to get out and make their own mistakes. That said, Binghamton has evolved into an excellent engineering school drawing students from around the world so if Lil Griff was into it it'd be a good choice. For the record she's not interested in going to college as a townie. She wants to meet new people and have new experiences and start a punk band...
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Old 07-31-2013, 08:17 AM   #21
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I went to the University in my home town,* and I can tell you that it is definitely still possible to fly the nest locally as long as that's what the kid wants. If you think she's going to try to rely on you, then yeah, she needs to get at least a couple hours out of town, but I was busy proving I was an adult and the last thing in the world I would have done was come home to do my laundry.

Being courted for any extracurricular is a big deal, even if you've never heard of those particular schools' swimming programs. Look very seriously at the quality of the schools that are trying to attract her, and see if they're good enough. From a genuine education standpoint, there's not much difference between all the upper-mid-range schools, which includes most state universities. Like I said, some schools are well-known for very specific programs, but if she's not sure what she wants to do, the main consideration should be a school that's A.) got good enough name recognition and B.) costs as little as possible.




*My safety school, to be honest, because while I got in almost everywhere, we were really thinking I was going to get more financial aid than I did. Northwestern threw me $500/year to offset a $30,000/year tuition. My parents laughed and I secretly cried. Anyway...
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Old 07-31-2013, 08:31 AM   #22
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College is all about the networking connections you make that help you later in life. So go to a school with movers and shakers.

For example, when I was unemployed after college, a college buddy of mine said that he got a crappy temping job through a particular temp agency. So I signed up at that very same temp agency at his lukewarm urging. One of those crappy temping jobs I had turned into a crappy entry level job, which a few steps later turned in to this job. Can't say this job is crappy. Just low stress and boring and unrewarding and just barely lucrative enough to support a family.

So it's all about the high powered connections you make in college. I owe this job to that college buddy of mine.
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Old 07-31-2013, 09:17 AM   #23
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No offence glatt, but you dont have to go to college to network well.

I realise things besides spelling are different in the US, but i just dont see the need for all the added expense if its not necessary. I also totally disagree with the 'fly the coop' argument. I dont see Americans as a population being more well rounded (or whatever) because they went to uni away from home.

Yes its part of your culture to do so, but its not necessarily a good part.
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Old 07-31-2013, 09:24 AM   #24
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You didn't read the middle bit, did you?
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Old 07-31-2013, 10:13 AM   #25
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Actually, it's about the critical thinking you learn.

Glatt rightly said you do networking there, but wrongly inferred it is "all about" the networking.

Ali rightly noted that you can networking elsewhere well, but incorrectly implied that this is about making the kids "well-rounded". It's about kicking them out.

Of course, we're all flirting with the single-factor fallacy.

See, it's about the thinking skills. Chica should study philosophy.
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Old 07-31-2013, 10:20 AM   #26
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Old 07-31-2013, 12:27 PM   #27
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she returns.. im I had a poem called "Life on the Frontier of Dreams" that I wanted you to look at.. it a few clicks down on the creative express...
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Old 07-31-2013, 02:15 PM   #28
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Well, you (your child) can't go to any school you can't afford. Clodfobble's story about getting a .5k token against a 30k expense is sad/funny. Ouch. Those folks who talk about the upper-mid range colleges/universities being roughly equal are right on target. It does make a difference at the level where the school is a "brand", but none of them were even a dream for me or for my children. If you're in a position to consider such schools seriously, that is super awesome.

For most folks though, cost is a/the major factor. Getting that degree (possibly the first in a series) with a minimum cost is HUGELY important. Young graduates with X tens of thousands of dollars in debt is like being born underwater. It's hard to catch your breath when you're at your weakest, professionally speaking. Reasonable people can disagree about the single factor/most important reason(s) for going to college, but all of them will agree that "to amass a large debt" is not one of them--avoid it, reduce it, finesse it the best you can, all the way through. Cost matters, **a lot**.

Beyond that, what does your student like? Not just academically, but athletically and socially and geographically, etc, etc. Those factors are just as real as the degree and the costs. I was one of the unusual students in that I picked my major, never changed it, graduated with a degree in that area (BS Computer Science) and then worked for decades in that field. Just lucky I guess .

What are your child's ideas about what school to choose?
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Old 07-31-2013, 03:16 PM   #29
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Well, you (your child) can't go to any school you can't afford. Clodfobble's story about getting a .5k token against a 30k expense is sad/funny. Ouch.
Yeah, I got a $500 "scholarship" offer from Cornell. It wasn't quite enough to get me to brave their winters.
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Old 07-31-2013, 03:27 PM   #30
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The Student Loan still has some attractive features.
The first is that most families (individual students) will qualify for some level of a "grant".
This is not a "loan", and does not have to be paid back.

I think there are 6 school-years of grant support, and my G-kids have qualified
for enough $ to cover their books, supplies, and class fees. (~$5,000/yr)

Tuitions are usually beyond the level of these grants, so it is
family decision time about "loan debt" and family "resources"

IM, where are you... you are needed ASAP !
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