What's upsetting you today?

[DanaC]

I just heard something terribly sad. Alice, who was the School manager until a few months had her second baby in July. Just had a staff email come round to tell us that the baby has cancer in her eyes and is now undergoing chemo and various other treatments.

Poor little thing. Seven months old ffs. And poor Alice. I don't know her well, but have always liked her. She helped me out loads when I was starting out with my postgrad stuff. And is just a really lovely and cheerful person.

What a horrible thing for any parent to see their child going through.

Fuck cancer.

[BigV]

Fuck. Cancer.

[Clodfobble]

Holy shit, Dana. That's so sad. I'm sorry.

[glatt]

Eye cancer!

[Griff]

Really!? Fuck Cancer

[orthodoc]

Retinoblastoma, most likely.
The good news is that it has a high cure rate. The bad news is that the treatment modalities can be horrible, depending on the number and size of tumors and whether unilateral or bilateral.

Fuck cancer.

[Sundae]

Oh yeah, fuck cancer again.

Someone is coming to view the 'rents house this afternoon.
Just cleaned 90% of my room. Will do the rest after lunch.
Yup, the 'rents are moving. Nope, Diz and aren't moving with them. We can't. No pets no overnight guests.

Don't get me wrong, I'm made up for them, the place sounds wonderful, it's right in the town centre and it will seriously improve Mum's quality of life.
Just scared for myself and what's to come.
So I'm coming to America later this Spring, because why not. I won't have anywhere to live after all.then throw myself on the mercy of the Council when I get back.
Which is what I'd have to do as soon as this places sells anyway, so I may as well take this chance while I can.

Perhaps I should have posted in the Good News/ Bad News thread.
But cleaning always makes me irritable.

Oh I talked to the Deputy Manager at work this morning.
I had to really, I was in a bit of a state. He was wonderful and has definitely got back the goodwill the company had lost form me recently.
Just as well, because over the next three months I'm going to be spending plenty of hours there to get some money behind me. And to afford rent in someone else's house (ick).

Mum says they'll pay my way to America in May.
See y'all then.

[glatt]

Wow! Big changes!

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by Sundae

Mum says they'll pay my way to America in May.

Whoa, thanks mom! So the work folks will let you have the vacation time, or are you quitting your job in May because you'll have nowhere to live?

[Sundae]

I'm going to have to negotiate.
Of course the system being the system I'd be in a better position to get housing if I wasn't working, but I would far far rather be allowed a Sabbatical than quit.

There's precedence for it, especially if an employee is facing personal difficulties. I wouldn't be asking for paid leave after all.

[monster]

What will happen to Diz while you travel? Will your mom pay for kennels too or are you travelling before they move?

[Sundae]

Care of Dizcat is also up for negotiation. I'm hoping to have him fostered.

But things are now changing on a daily basis. Mum told me this afternoon that they will be out of here in four weeks regardless of whether they have a buyer or not.
She thinks it makes financial sense because they will stop paying Council Tax.

But while the house is still being shown they will be paying gas and electricity and she always used to worry about leaving the place vacant for more than 48 hours.
They don't start paying rent on the flat until they move in, but I think having signed off on the dotted line she just wants to be in there, right now, all done, end of.

Which I do understand.
Maybe I got that from her

It puts my previous plans into freefall though.
Basically my only sensible option is to throw myself on the mercy of the Council immediately.
Which means staying in work.
And means being housed in a B&B or hostel at best. Which means losing Diz.
And which means no trip to America.

I thought I might have two-three months. But from what she's just said to me on the phone, she wants this place vacant for viewing. Once they start moving out, I need to move out too. Probably my own fault, I've never been as tidy as she wanted. She no doubt thinks if I stay my clutter will spread. And she might be right.

In better news, I went to their new place today and it is very nice. Much lighter and brighter than here, and in a much better location.
Just as big as here, and all on one floor. Less potential for falls for Dad but no let-up in cleaning for her.
And only one toilet. Which will lead to conflict.
I didn't say that to her, she needs to know I'm happy for her because I am.

Still, the bathroom has a HUGE walk-in shower, which will be great for both of them.
And I bet it has better water pressure than here. Or if not they can complain to the charity!
There's certainly enough room for a seat if it becomes necessary for Dad.

So it's a so/so report from me.
I'm terrified, they're happy.
And if I had to choose I'd rather have it that way round.

Thing is, I hate change. I just do.
And the 'rents have always been here. Literally and figuratively.
So I'm losing that support, but also losing a home.
Yes I know I'm way too old to think that way, but it's how I feel and why it's upsetting me.

I have made my own way in the world, but sometimes I've had to come back. Like MTP I feel I've failed at life. I guess this is make or break. I've cried down the phone to a few wonderful people, and they have really reached out to help. But with hating work 2/5 of the week, losing sanctuary and facing being without Diz, it's all a bit much even so. If money was no object I think I'd still be fucked up. I'm wired a bit wrong. I'd make it to America though, then you could see the fuck-uppedness firsthand.

Urgh.
Is there a Fucked Up Self Pity Thread?

[glatt]

I hate change too, especially when it's being foisted upon me by outside forces.

[Clodfobble]

Yeah, change sucks, even though I know you'll come out on top like you always do, Cherry. You're employed and personable--I don't know what the council politics are like, but if I were on the council you're the kind of person I'd want to help out because I'd believe it was a good investment.

[monster]

How much longer before you will have a rental deposit so you don't need the council to help? you must've been working for a few months now. is there any chance of changing to full time to bump that up?