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Old 12-26-2016, 06:50 PM   #241
BigV
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Half of us liked her half as well as we should have liked her, to paraphrase...
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Old 12-26-2016, 09:01 PM   #242
xoxoxoBruce
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Sometimes it was hard when she was acting against her own well being. Couldn't be angry with her, even when she was obviously fucking up, because she was such a free spirit. Tell her she shouldn't be doing something and she would readily agree, then keep doing it. Since we never met, following her exploits here in the Cellar, plus a lot of personal correspondence, she was like a television character that you know so well, but not quite real. Television characters get into jams but always make out OK by the end of the show, or at least next week.

A genuine loss for the world.
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Old 12-26-2016, 09:12 PM   #243
monster
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thanks xob, closest to what I feel. I was often told off for being mean to her so I stopped communicating with her at all, but it was just because she frustrated me in that way and I didn't have the skills to really help. I wish I could turn back the clock and do it differently just in case it could have made a difference
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Old 12-26-2016, 10:30 PM   #244
sexobon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monster View Post
... I was often told off for being mean to her so I stopped communicating with her at all ... I wish I could turn back the clock and do it differently just in case it could have made a difference
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundae View Post
... I will stop drinking or die. ...

Opinion? Entitled.
Sort my life out? Up to me.
It wouldn't have made any difference. She wouldn't let it. Like you, I moved on back then after I pushed in that thread to see what kind of prognosis she had. The writing was on the wall. There are sooooo many others in need who will let you make a difference for their lives that the ones who won't don't make the time cut ... life is too short.
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Old 12-26-2016, 10:54 PM   #245
xoxoxoBruce
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Yeah, but you're a medical man, you can help people who will accept it because you know how to render aid for maximum effect.
We the great unwashed, are drawing on "The Days of Wine and Roses", Uncle Joe who is rumored to have drank himself to death, and old wives tales.
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Old 12-26-2016, 11:10 PM   #246
sexobon
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It may also have something to do with those who have dealt more closely with their own mortality, like monster, and those who have dealt with a lot of unwelcome deaths, like me, having a little different perspective on anyone who insists on throwing their life away.
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Old 12-27-2016, 12:18 AM   #247
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Quote:
There are sooooo many others in need who will let you make a difference for their lives
We are not here to help in that way. We can't help from here. It's inappropriate. We're not trained therapists, we could actually cause harm - actual therapy requires something that just can't happen on a semi-anonymous, public message board.

But what we can do is provide a social network of the kind that gives people something meaningful - over time, makes them feel good about themselves, specifically because there are others in their lives who do care about them.

In turn, that's why we should care for others even if they don't want to be "fixed".

And we did that. We changed Sundae's life. We made a difference. And she changed many of us and made a difference in many of our lives. It worked exactly like it was supposed to.
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Old 12-27-2016, 12:54 AM   #248
sexobon
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That's all very nice; but, people here may be in competition for attention from those who are giving more in real life. IRL always trumps virtual for the reasons you stated. This venue worked; but, within it's limitations. That's why it's not the venue of choice for everyone who's making differences in people's lives.
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Old 12-27-2016, 01:48 AM   #249
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Like I said, it's not FOR that. And this thread is not for this either. Good day sir.
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Old 12-27-2016, 02:10 AM   #250
sexobon
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I talked about making differences in people's lives.

You said it was FOR that right here:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
We changed Sundae's life. We made a difference. And she changed many of us and made a difference in many of our lives. It worked exactly like it was supposed to.
Are you posting under the influence? Your short term memory and/or reading comprehension seem to be out of whack.

You have my permission to remove from the public board any of my posts in this thread that offend your sensibilities.

Render unto Cesare and all that.
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Old 12-27-2016, 04:15 AM   #251
monster
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I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start a row. I guess i was trying to process some stuff.
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Old 12-27-2016, 06:36 AM   #252
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monster View Post
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start a row. I guess i was trying to process some stuff.


So are we all. Be gentle with each other, people.


Sent by magic.
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Old 12-27-2016, 08:38 AM   #253
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She touched so many lives
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Old 12-27-2016, 12:49 PM   #254
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I thought sexobon was making a comment to console monster re: her feeling that maybe she could have made more of a difference with Sundae.

I don't see how that was out of place. As someone who has spent a lot of effort helping IRL friends who then went on anyway to drink or drug themselves to death, both of their comments resonate for me, and so, in that sense, this thread and the board are doing exactly what it says on the tin.

Now, let's chill out before I start a round of Kumbaya.
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Old 12-27-2016, 02:39 PM   #255
xoxoxoBruce
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I agree with the Foots. By considering the source's perspective, all the comments seem reasonable to me.
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