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Old 04-19-2017, 09:53 PM   #1531
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
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Well that, and the dick pics.
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Old 04-20-2017, 10:22 AM   #1532
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Old 04-20-2017, 11:56 AM   #1533
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That was from the hotmale account.
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Old 04-20-2017, 03:52 PM   #1534
Gravdigr
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Hotmale.

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Old 05-16-2017, 11:47 PM   #1535
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So at 4:00 AM this morning, Mr. Clod's phone suddenly goes nuts with texts. He initially assumes it's a work emergency, but no, they're from random people all saying, "Hey," "Hi," "What's up?" etc.

He starts engaging with these people, trying to figure out what the hell is going on, and eventually it becomes clear that someone has listed his number on a Craigslist bootycall post--actually not his number, just his number with a different-but-similar area code, and these are all the idiots trolling craigslist at 4 AM in Austin who also can't read for comprehension. (Which means god knows how many people correctly texted this supposed 23-year-old in need of a plowing...)

He tells everyone they have the wrong number, mystery solved, time to go back to bed--but being Mr. Clod, he can't pass up the opportunity to educate.

"But you do know these things are fake though, right?"
"What do you mean?"
"Look, if she were really a 23-year-old girl, she'd be using Tinder, not craigslist. This is either a pimp, or a porn website looking to drum up business, or most likely just a guy who gets off on sexting with other guys."
[Long pause] "Yeah, well, thanks for the tip."
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Old 05-17-2017, 12:12 AM   #1536
xoxoxoBruce
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Don't ask, you don't want to know.
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Old 05-17-2017, 10:48 AM   #1537
footfootfoot
I may have overstated my temerity's degree of mitigation.
 
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Boy Scout Merit Badge for Cyber-Citizenship goes to Mr. Clod!
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Old 05-17-2017, 01:21 PM   #1538
Gravdigr
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I'd have sent them pictures to haunt their dreams.
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Old 07-07-2017, 12:33 AM   #1539
Clodfobble
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There's an annual summer event here called "Jaws on the Water," where they put up a projection screen on the lakeshore and people float in inner tubes watching the movie. Pretty cute, yeah? Except I just found out that Mr. Clod's boss is one of a team of local scuba divers they hire to sneak up and grab people from under the water in the middle of the movie.
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Old 07-07-2017, 01:06 AM   #1540
xoxoxoBruce
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Then prepare your razor blade and poison spike chaps in advance.
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Old 02-10-2018, 08:58 PM   #1541
monster
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16yo son added "Airman Goggles" to the family shopping list some time last night.

Apparently he's thinking ahead to Halloween just in case he can persuade a friend and find a third person to torment the neighborhood dressed as the Spanish Inquisition a la Monty Python.
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Old 02-10-2018, 08:58 PM   #1542
monster
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(I probably shouldn't have asked....)
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Old 02-11-2018, 02:19 AM   #1543
sexobon
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Meh, just tell him to wear a hockey helmet and put some swimming goggles on it.
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Old 02-12-2018, 12:29 AM   #1544
monster
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been there done that one years ago for now 18yo son
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Old 02-12-2018, 12:30 AM   #1545
monster
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I was just amused to find it there between the potatoes and shampoo
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