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Old 11-08-2012, 03:27 PM   #106
bluecuracao
in a mood, not cupcake
 
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Blegh. That's an all-too-common odor in my neighborhood, with all the restaurants.

Grill some onions in the back room, that will cover up the smell.
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Old 11-09-2012, 12:41 PM   #107
Undertoad
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Yesterday we had a gentleman indicating that he wanted to buy an adult DVD for a bachelor party. Since the pending wife was Asian, he specifically wanted a porn where a black guy had sex with an Asian woman. I accepted the task of looking through our meager selection of about 100 DVDs, for black-on-Asian porn. The only Asian title included a white man and a white woman double-teaming an Asian. The gentleman found this to be acceptable.

In the meantime I found that our selection included five MIDGET titles. I don't know whether this is because they were the only movies that didn't sell, or whether we in fact specialize in midget porn.

I don't judge.
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Old 11-09-2012, 02:56 PM   #108
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This is my favorite thread
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Old 11-09-2012, 03:06 PM   #109
SteveDallas
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I'm thinking an infographic of the shop's DVD selection would be a good thing.
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Old 11-09-2012, 04:30 PM   #110
bluecuracao
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Hey, I remember those porns! They must have made their way to North Philly after we closed our video store.
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Old 11-09-2012, 06:17 PM   #111
Undertoad
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Today a woman asked my coworker to pick an adult title for her.

He asked if she wanted "regular" or "weird". "Regular."

He said he's had many guys ask him to pick one and this was the first woman to ask.
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Old 11-09-2012, 06:25 PM   #112
Undertoad
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Also today we had a game of "Retarded or High" as a gentlemen arrived at 10am and took a good 10 minutes to decide whether he should buy two DVDs or three. (movie DVDs, not porn.) Since I have to actually pull the DVDs from the shelf, this was a terrible inconvenience for me.

He had a lot to say about how he might make his selection, but I only understood about a third of what he said. His eyes were permanently half-closed but it wasn't a weed sort of look, more like his eyelids were just too heavy to make full mast.

Once I gave him his change he took another two minutes to actually leave, still lingering around the DVDs he could have picked but didn't. We're going to say High this time, because of his slurred speech and complete lack of focused direction, but it was really a tough call.
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Old 11-09-2012, 06:39 PM   #113
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Most alarming this week was my foray into eating in the hood. I got a chicken fried rice from the Questionable Chinese Place "Happy What-the-fuck-ever".

Many Chinese places have faded, lit signs of food that kind of resembles what you might get. At this place, one of these signs was labeled "Fride Scallops". I will try to get a pic next week... if I have the guts to go back.

Three people were waiting for food when I arrived to pick up my order, and the Chinese lady behind the nasty plexiglass literally yelled at everybody "NOT WEADY! NOT WEADY!"

I really have to remember to pack lunch. There are only iffy places to choose from, and my coworkers seem not to mind so much that these places don't have well-paid suburban health inspectors coming around at regular intervals to check whether the fry grease has been changed out in the last month, or, ever.
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Old 11-09-2012, 06:56 PM   #114
Griff
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
"Retarded or High"
Nice. This is even better than Dead, Canadian, or Wife-Beater.
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Old 11-10-2012, 04:12 AM   #115
Big Sarge
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Keep the stories coming
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Old 11-10-2012, 06:03 AM   #116
Trilby
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
... the Chinese lady behind the nasty plexiglass literally yelled at everybody "NOT WEADY! NOT WEADY!"
Maybe she was bummed because her porn career didn't take off.
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Old 11-10-2012, 07:20 AM   #117
footfootfoot
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Quote:
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a dead rat in a wall or floor is going to smell rough for a week. you need to catch a few rat snakes and turn them loose. they'll take care of the mice and rats, plus they will scare robbers away
My BIL and SIL have had a dead squirrel in their bathroom wall for several years. It still stinks in there.
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Old 11-10-2012, 08:09 AM   #118
Griff
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Quote:
Originally Posted by footfootfoot View Post
My BIL and SIL have had a dead squirrel in their bathroom wall for several years. It still stinks in there.
I wonder if its being moistened occasionally by the plumbing or poor ventilation?
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Old 11-10-2012, 04:08 PM   #119
Lola Bunny
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Quote:
Originally Posted by footfootfoot View Post
My BIL and SIL have had a dead squirrel in their bathroom wall for several years. It still stinks in there.
Goodness, for several years??!!? Why don't they just tear the wall out and take out that stink?
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Old 11-10-2012, 06:24 PM   #120
Undertoad
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Today I was listing things and not behind the pawn counter, but a milestone occurred anyway. A black woman called me "baby".

"Hey baby! Remember I was here yesterday! I tole you I was coming back!"

She was, and she did. I gave her a big grin and thumbs-up. I'm 48 years old and she called me baby. I love that.
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