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Old 12-23-2017, 09:56 PM   #1
xoxoxoBruce
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Dec 24th, 2017 : The Indigenous Push Back

Yesterday we learned of the plot by foreigners and authorities to have Swedish Viking Reindeer invade Scotland.
While they have managed to establish a strong base in the Cairngorms National Park the rest of Scotland is still in control of the
indigenous (for 13 million years) Red Deer.



Don’t let the winter neck beard fool you, these bucks are no namby pamby nerds.



As tough as any highlander and well armed.
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In Scotland, stags average 201 cm (79 in) in head-and-body length and 122 cm (48 in) high at the shoulder and females average 180 cm (71 in) long and 114 cm (45 in) tall.




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Old 12-24-2017, 04:11 AM   #2
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Lacking the luxury of a high tech digital camera, Sir Edwin Landseer resorted to oil on canvas for his portrayal of a Red Deer Stag in his painting 'Monarch of the Glen'.
The location for the painting is believed to be Glen Affric about fifteen miles west of Loch Ness.

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I'm never too sure what to make of Landseer.
The subjects of his paintings seem to veer between death and mawkish sentimentality.
I can cope with mawkish sentimentality. Death I'm not so keen on.
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Old 12-24-2017, 04:25 AM   #3
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We see deer in the woods sometimes. Small compared to the ones in the highlands, but still beautiful. Carrot chased a couple that suddenly appeared on the footpath in front of us - they bounded off like they were built from air,straight up the wooded slope. Left Carrot for dust.

The numbers fell dangerously low a few years ago because of poachers, but they seem to be getting their numbers back up again.
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Old 12-24-2017, 06:17 AM   #4
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I wonder how Landseer got that stag to pose long enough?

The problem with dogs and deer is like you said, the deer will leave the dog in the dust, but as soon as they are what they perceive as out of danger they stop to rest. A persistent dog will soon catch up with them and the cycle repeats. Before long the deer are exhausted but the dog will trot for hours. Weaker deer will die, killed by a dog that never touched them.
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Old 12-24-2017, 06:42 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post

The problem with dogs and deer is like you said, the deer will leave the dog in the dust, but as soon as they are what they perceive as out of danger they stop to rest. A persistent dog will soon catch up with them and the cycle repeats. Before long the deer are exhausted but the dog will trot for hours. Weaker deer will die, killed by a dog that never touched them.
And we all remember Fenton...

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Old 12-24-2017, 09:07 AM   #6
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That was playing in my head
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Old 12-24-2017, 11:55 AM   #7
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"It turns out that a stag with 16 or more tines (points) is a monarch, 14 tines is an imperial, and 12 tines is a royal. A tine can only be counted if it's big enough to put a wedding ring on it, the first set of antlers are called prickets, and stags with no antlers at all are called hummels."
OK. The Wikipedia article on the painting says 14 is a "royal."
£4 million says call it what you want.
And darned if he doesn't look pregnant.
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Old 12-24-2017, 12:21 PM   #8
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The Monarch has 12, but I wouldn't challenge him, he'd give you a serious pricking.
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A tine can only be counted if it's big enough to put a wedding ring on it...
Hmm, another plus for child brides.
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Old 12-24-2017, 04:58 PM   #9
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It's a sticking point.
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Old 12-30-2017, 09:26 PM   #10
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It's a sticking point.
Gore on... what is the thrust of your argument?
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Old 12-31-2017, 10:27 AM   #11
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Oh, deer! I seem to be fresh outta puns.
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Old 12-31-2017, 10:56 AM   #12
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Oh, deer! I seem to be fresh outta puns.
Doe s that mean you are grazefully conceding the challenge?
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Old 12-31-2017, 11:05 AM   #13
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Stag's all, folks!
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Old 12-31-2017, 11:16 AM   #14
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Ima ruminate on it.

Cudz that's what I do.
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Old 12-31-2017, 11:55 AM   #15
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You get out of bed with you legs first then your arms. That means you're a ruminant.
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