The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Nothingland

Nothingland Something about nothing - game threads, diversions, time-wasters

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-12-2018, 05:56 AM   #1546
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
pretty sure the vintage flying gear is in that aisle.
__________________
If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
- Louis D. Brandeis
Griff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2018, 12:04 PM   #1547
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
The Barnes & Noble Nook HD Plus Is A Motherfucking Piece Of Shit.

Not today, but, yesterday.

The Barnes & Noble Turd HD Plus, I mean, the Barnes & Noble Nook Turd Plus, I mean, the Barnes & Noble Nook HD Turd, I mean the Barnes & Turd Nook HD Plus, I mean, oh you get it...

When the thing was brand new it was a turd. A turd w/a great screen. And the really great thing about this turd, was that when you updated the thing, about a third of them turned into bricks. So, I refused to update the thing, not really believing it could be made to be worse, but unwilling to risk bricking m'Nook.

I don't know how long I've had the thing, it was a gift from a friend, four-five years. Anyway, yesterday I picked up the Turd/Nook, wtfe, and the thing began updating itself. I know it was updating because the word "Updating" displayed itself across the great screen. I said "Oh shit!! M'Nook is about to brick itself!" and shut the thing off as fast as I could, which is 5 seconds, which is apparently enough time to download an update. When I turned it back on later, it still said "Updating", but that went away almost immediately, and was replaced by the word "Nook", which is what you see while the Turd is booting up. That's all it ever said. It's a brick. The Barnes & Noble Nook HD Plus is now no,longer a turd. It is a dried up, chalky, white, dog turd.

So I broke the motherfucking piece of shit Barnes & Noble Turd HD Plus over my thigh. Then threw it outside into the rain. Then I remembered the little, teensy microSD card, and went out into the rain and retrieved it. And then I stomped that motherfucking piece of shit Barnes & Noble TURD HD Plus into the fucking mud, where it has belonged since it was still wrapped in plastic.

NOTE: If you happen to be cursed with a Barnes & Noble Turd HD Plus, and they push an update onto it, and it bricks itself, and you break it over your thigh, for the love of God, CLOSE YOUR FUCKING EYES!!!!!!!!! A cloud of microscopically thin glass approximately the size of a Volkswagen Beetle WILL assail you. I have found glass everywhere. It's like glitter.

So, you won't accidentally run across ol' Grav bitching about his Turd, Nook, wtfe, anymore. It is no longer.

It's not pining for the fjords.

It isn't sleeping.

It has no lovely plumage.

I say you he dead.

(Pic to follow.)

ETA: I told you a pic was coming:

Name:  likeitshouldbe.JPG
Views: 336
Size:  204.0 KB

The stomping kinda took out some of the warp (the case was surprisingly flexible) that the breaking over the thigh put into it, but, it's still in the mud like a turd should be.

So long you piece of shit.
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

Last edited by Gravdigr; 02-23-2018 at 12:21 PM.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2018, 02:20 PM   #1548
Carruthers
Junior Master Dwellar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buckinghamshire UK
Posts: 4,059
Esteemed Mr G...

You have expressed a great deal of irritation, exasperation, vexation, indignation, anger, displeasure, and indeed pique, in your above account.

Just one question. Why have you posted it under 'What's mildly amusing you today?'
__________________
Carruthers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2018, 03:41 PM   #1549
limey
Encroaching on your decrees
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland
Posts: 7,016
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carruthers View Post
Esteemed Mr G...



You have expressed a great deal of irritation, exasperation, vexation, indignation, anger, displeasure, and indeed pique, in your above account.



Just one question. Why have you posted it under 'What's mildly amusing you today?'


This is mildly amusing me ....


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
__________________
Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of
limey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-27-2018, 06:05 PM   #1550
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carruthers View Post
Esteemed Mr G...

You have expressed a great deal of irritation, exasperation, vexation, indignation, anger, displeasure, and indeed pique, in your above account.

Just one question. Why have you posted it under 'What's mildly amusing you today?'
As I read his account, it's clear to me that he feels used, and was speaking in the present tense "am used". But I think perhaps he misunderstood "mildly".
__________________
Be Just and Fear Not.
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2018, 01:38 PM   #1551
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
It was amusing after-the-fact. Mildly.

I thought that since ppl read my posts bitching and moaning about that, that thing, so much over the last year, or three, or four, someone might get a chuckle outta the final fit.

It was actually a fairly calm episode. kind alike "Well, fuck."

It's still out there, btw.

And I'm still finding glass. How can so much glass be in my room, and so much glass still be attached to the thing?
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2018, 01:41 PM   #1552
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
That's an interesting business model, though. Build a product that bricks itself on updating. And then push the fucking update.

__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2018, 03:01 PM   #1553
Carruthers
Junior Master Dwellar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buckinghamshire UK
Posts: 4,059
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravdigr View Post
It was amusing after-the-fact. Mildly.

I thought that since ppl read my posts bitching and moaning about that, that thing, so much over the last year, or three, or four, someone might get a chuckle outta the final fit.

It was actually a fairly calm episode. kind alike "Well, fuck."

It's still out there, btw.

And I'm still finding glass. How can so much glass be in my room, and so much glass still be attached to the thing?
All understood.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravdigr View Post
That's an interesting business model, though. Build a product that bricks itself on updating. And then push the fucking update.

It's not up there with building a better mouse trap, is it?
__________________
Carruthers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2018, 10:36 AM   #1554
Happy Monkey
I think this line's mostly filler.
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: DC
Posts: 13,575
Elon Musk makes me laugh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elon Musk
SpaceX option package for new Tesla Roadster will include ~10 small rocket thrusters arranged seamlessly around car. These rocket engines dramatically improve acceleration, top speed, braking & cornering. Maybe they will even allow a Tesla to fly …
__________________
_________________
|...............| We live in the nick of times.
| Len 17, Wid 3 |
|_______________| [pics]
Happy Monkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2018, 01:50 PM   #1555
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
I am amused.
__________________
If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
- Louis D. Brandeis
Griff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2018, 02:28 PM   #1556
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
I was tickled by the Not A Flame Thrower.
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2018, 08:31 PM   #1557
captainhook455
Rapscallion
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,357
I was accidentally shot with a BB gun when young. I would rather have that then to be shot with a flame thrower that isn't a flame thrower.
captainhook455 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2018, 03:44 PM   #1558
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
You hope it was an accident.
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2018, 08:24 PM   #1559
fargon
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: La Crosse, WI
Posts: 8,924
We routinely shot each other with BB guns, when we were kids back in the 60's.
__________________
Annoy the ones that ignore you!!!
I live a blessed life
I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!!
Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.
fargon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2018, 08:25 PM   #1560
fargon
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: La Crosse, WI
Posts: 8,924
And yes it hurt like hell.
__________________
Annoy the ones that ignore you!!!
I live a blessed life
I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!!
Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.
fargon is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:59 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.