The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Relationships

Relationships People who need people; or, why can't we all just get along?

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-27-2015, 03:54 PM   #106
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 34,120
...Vlets...

__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2015, 04:00 PM   #107
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 25,059
Tink's service is next Saturday. I've spent much of this weekend combing through physical photo albums, selecting pictures for a slideshow. I'm not making the slideshow, I'm just gathering material for BD who is (I'm guessing) the lead person on the slideshow. I've found a couple dozen nice pictures, some of which the kids are probably not familiar with, pictures from when they were very young, or before their time entirely.

Funny, I feel like I am straddling the divide between two worlds, photographically. I have *lots* of old pictures, ones I've taken or ones bequeathed to me, physical prints. And I have *lots and lots* of digital pictures, only a minute fraction of which have any physical presence beyond some electromagnetic apparition, nothing physically recognizable I could hold in my hand. And both sets have importance. Melding them is gonna be a Project.
__________________
Also a very stable genius.
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2015, 01:23 PM   #108
warch
lurkin old school
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,796
Just learning about this hard journey you and your family are enduring, V. Sending condolences and thoughts for comfort and continued strength.
warch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2015, 03:42 PM   #109
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 63,843
Warch! Missed you muchly.
__________________
Everything is interesting... look closer.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2015, 06:07 PM   #110
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 25,059
Thank you warch.

Like xoB, I'm glad to see you again. The service is tomorrow and I think it's gonna be hard. There's a finality to funerals and services and burials. That's partly the point, right? But I must say that I have found myself surprised by the strength of my emotional reactions to any number of otherwise completely innocuous situations. A song on the radio, a picture, a flower, a shirt, just any trigger for my memories. Some of them have been quite piercing.

BD phoned me yesterday and we talked for an hour about her mom. She wanted to know things about her mom before her time. She's putting together her own eulogy. Very very proud of her, that is a big deal. Anyhow, she sounds OK, I haven't been able to get much from my sons though. That's kinda normal, but this isn't a normal situation. Of course I'll see them tomorrow.

I've made a note to my self, get a six pack of those little packs of tissues. There will be tears.

Maybe I'll make that I twelve pack....
__________________
Also a very stable genius.
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2015, 06:09 PM   #111
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 25,059
This goddamn thread makes me cry.
__________________
Also a very stable genius.
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2015, 05:43 PM   #112
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 34,120
Feeling for you, V.






__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2015, 01:12 AM   #113
lumberjim
Token White Guy
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 24,107
The love you had for Tink did not just stop when the marriage died. Love is immutable. The fact that the marriage did fail and that she severed contact with you left you in an outside looking in position where closure is nearly impossible for you.

Part of these services... Maybe most of them is for the people close to the departed to close that chapter. I imagine that you have a lot of unsaid things backed up in your brain.... I reckon that's why you wanted to eulogize her.... But she didn't want that, and you have enough sense not to push it.

Would it help you to do a private you tube eulogy for her and share it with us? Would that help to give you some modicum of closure?
__________________
oh, no. wait. the opposite of that.
lumberjim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2018, 10:34 PM   #114
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 25,059
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigV View Post
Tink died today at 2:40. All our kids were there, her husband, and other close family. Very wrenching, everyone is exhausted.

I'm composing this on the phone, so I can't really expand easily. Plus, I am pretty wrung out myself. I'll post more later.
Three years today.

I'm not maudlin, not unrealistically wishing for things to be different. I am sad. I am thinking about Tink, and thinking about my kids, and thinking about how I feel about my parents who've died, and thinking about how my kids feel.

Just sad. Normal, appropriate sad.

Short conversations with my kids today, txting, like whippersnappers do. But to the extent that I can perceive their meaning and emotion, it was real. I love them, they love me, Tink loved them, they know it.

I reread this whole fucking thread, it hurt. Lots of love for me from all of you. I am *so* thankful. Thank. You.

shoutout to Clodfobble (I ain't goin back now for the quote button)... I am emotionally close to my kids and they know it. This is me takin another fucking VICTORY LAP AROUND THE SUN on that particular race. So thanks for pointing that out to me.
__________________
Also a very stable genius.
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2018, 12:20 AM   #115
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 34,120
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2018, 03:36 PM   #116
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 23,463
Cheers bro.
__________________
If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
- Louis D. Brandeis
Griff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2018, 07:31 PM   #117
Glinda
Fucktard Resistance League
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: 1.14 acres of heaven
Posts: 1,182
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigV View Post
Tink died today at 2:40. All our kids were there, her husband, and other close family. Very wrenching, everyone is exhausted.

I'm composing this on the phone, so I can't really expand easily. Plus, I am pretty wrung out myself. I'll post more later.
Oh man.

You and your family are in our hearts, V. Hang in there.
Glinda is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-2018, 10:28 AM   #118
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 18,939
My relationship with time gets looser, the older I get. So many things that feel like yesterday were two decades ago, and so many things that feel like a million years off were just three.

You're welcome for the reminder at the time, and thanks to you for the reminder now that I can sometimes help some folks feel better about some things. Haven't been super successful in that department recently--but we help each other, and it all comes back around.
__________________
My book
My spirit animal
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:15 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.