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Old 02-18-2004, 01:23 PM   #31
headsplice
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After reading this particular thread, and polking through the other thread there are two things that I realized:
-1)Being single isn't all that bad. I only have to deal with my shit. Even when I'm alone on a Friday night.
-2)I never want to be a cop intervening in a domestic disturbance situation. Elspode mentioned it: as soon as the gloves came off and folks started talking honestly about what is, seemingly, a screwed up relationship, Mr/Mrs.StaceyV banded together and started attacking the folks that she had asked for help from.

One last note, Mr.StaceyV, if some random comments made by folks that you have absolutely no relationship with make you feel like someone has 'spit on your soul,' you'd best get a tad thicker skin, because living in the States is not gonna be easy for you.
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Old 02-18-2004, 04:13 PM   #32
hot_pastrami
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Mr. and Mrs. StaceyV, the Internet will not solve your problems, and it is ridiculous to believe otherwise. No intelligent person is going to assure either one of you that you're a blameless victim here. You've both acted stupidly. You should exchange some heartfelt apologies, and start respecting one another's feelings. Marraige will not survive too many little self-absorbed bullshit issues, especially when both parties lie to themselves about the amount of blame they should absorb.

If you want a healthy marraige, keep outside parties uninvolved in your personal problems, with the exception of professional therapists... This includes best friends, parents, neighbors, and strangers on the Internet. To do otherwise wise muddies the waters by marinading the situation in uninformed bias.
Quote:
Originally posted by lumberjim
if you don't want people to be honest about how they feel about your dirty laundry, don't show it to them. moron
Pretty god damned eloquent, Jimbo. Brilliantly put.
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Old 02-18-2004, 04:44 PM   #33
staceyv
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our family and friends do not know about this...it's easy to tell you guys, because i can just turn the computer off, and you're gone forever...
i THOUGHT arsen banged eva because he said he 'WITH" her right before me. what he meant was that she was his girlfriend...he didn't bang her. but he did lose his virginity to some other girl who he says "had a fat ass" and he didn't really care about. so, i am his second, and he didn't screw eva.

how the fuck am i controlling him? yes, i stumbled upon an e-mail message, because he left his account open. i saw a line that said "re: grupa dupa" and i was like "what is grupa dupa?" INNOCENT CURIOSITY....and after i saw him agreeing to have drinks with some girl, you are damn right i'm going to see what's going on with my husband.

it was HIS idea to make up that "agreement contract" and sign it. it was HIS idea to take me with him always when he goes out. he WANTS to do anything to save the marriage...how the fuck am i controlling him???????

sorry, but i am the one who was hurt and betrayed. i have never been anything but kind to him...supporting him when he was in between jobs, cooking for him everyday, waiting on the dock when his ship pulled in - with cookies and tears in my eyes...
i always trusted him until now. he used to go over his friend's house and drink with all the guys a few times a week all summer, and i had NO PROBLEM with that! i never read his e-mail before, even though i've had the password for months....don't come down on me like that. i am no "insipid vacuum"..i have my own job, my own hobbies, my own life. i am the one who sends off all the bills - on time- every month. i do the grocery shopping, lists, meal planning, 1/2 of the household cleaning, i pay 1/2 of the rent, utilities, car payment, insurance, gas, and i pay ALL of it if he doesn't have the money. i am no fucking insipid vacuum, and i am not controlling him.
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Old 02-18-2004, 04:55 PM   #34
staceyv
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Consider this whole discussion a sunk cost and just walk away. It was an entertaining display for all the cellar dwellars, but useful advice for your problem? Naw. Talk to the doc. Please.


i couln't agree with you more, riddil
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Old 02-18-2004, 05:18 PM   #35
lumberjim
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STACY.


I'm sorry i called you names. I have obviously hurt your feelings. I apologize. You asked for my advice, and while I meant what I said, I didnt need to insult you personally. It was just that you did not seem to be hearing what i was saying about his privacy. My main message I stand behind, but the insults were unneccesary.
Quote:
our family and friends do not know about this...it's easy to tell you guys, because i can just turn the computer off, and you're gone forever...
on this we agree.


I have one final bit of advice. next time, spin a situation like this as a hypothetical situation...." what would you do if," and keep the names and particulars out of it. You can get lots of objective advice from some smart motherfuckers like HP, and UT, and spare yourself the abuse from asshats like FnF and myself.

now go sit on arsen's lap, forgive him his indiscretion, and forget about Eva. he is with you now, and that's all he can do.


ARSEN


contact Eva, tell her that you enjoyed your time, but you will no longer be able to communicate with her because you have reaffirmed the commitment to your wife, and cannot afford another fuckup. thank her for the fantasy you shared, and don't respond to her reply. ever.


If you both cannot do the above, then you don;t belong to gether, and should begin amicable separation proceedings.



REGIS


this is my final answer.
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Last edited by lumberjim; 02-18-2004 at 05:35 PM.
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Old 02-18-2004, 05:25 PM   #36
OnyxCougar
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And by forgive, he means in the bottom of your heart. That secret place that you don't share with anyone. There too. That means forgive truly. Not just saying the words. It means trusting him 100%.
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Old 02-18-2004, 06:31 PM   #37
xoxoxoBruce
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If he was a citizen, I'd say the same thing.
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Old 02-18-2004, 06:34 PM   #38
Artie Greene
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Reruns of Knots Landing on Soapnet are more entertaining.

You know, I think lumberjim's words were harsh, but my god every once in awhile, people need to be shaken up. When I first read staceyv's problems, I had compassion, cuz i'm a nice guy. "Oh, it is never easy when you're in love and you get hurt," I thought.

By the time she posted her 14th NOVEL length post telling us how confused she was, I began to grow weary. People who do not honor their own boundaries and eschew grown up decision making really really really piss me off.

Stacey, I live in a town FILLED to the brim with idiots like you, so hopefully my words won't hurt you. There are plenty more where you came from, so maybe if Arson is too hot handle, you could easily find another pussy whipped eunuch to play victim to.

And now the husband comes in here, for what reason?

YOU BOTH ARE ACTING LIKE FREAKING 13 YEAR OLDS!!
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT? CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT??
HELLO?? TWO MORONS WHO USE A WEBSITE TO SOLVE THEIR MARITAL PROBLEMS BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO SCARED TO GET A F*CKING DIVORCE DESERVE ONE ANOTHER AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED!

For anybody else who keeps reading these posts with utter disbelief, take heart. At least the pathetic union of Stacey and Arson puts two clueless wonders out of circulation.


~~~~~~~~~~aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuugh!
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Old 02-18-2004, 06:52 PM   #39
elSicomoro
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Quote:
Originally posted by FileNotFound
And Syc if you called him a commie I'm not surprised that he got pissed off...most Russians living outside of Russia do. Just cause we hold "commies" responsible for turning Russia into the shit hole that it now is and forcing us to abandon the sinking ship that it now is. Of course you couldn't possibly have known that so I think anyone who reacts so poorly to it is a fucktard.
It sounded good at the moment...he said he didn't like being called a "russki," so I suggested "commie." And I knew it could be a potential powder keg. He hadn't quite earned it though...I should have let him run his mouth a bit more...
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Old 02-18-2004, 06:59 PM   #40
elSicomoro
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Quote:
Originally posted by juju
Heh heh.. Dude, you spit on his soul!
I think it's important to note that that comment might not have been directed at me. I wouldn't be surprised if it WERE though...
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Old 02-18-2004, 07:04 PM   #41
lumberjim
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Quote:
by arsenPLEASE DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF MJ!!!

WHAT IS MJ?
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Old 02-18-2004, 07:05 PM   #42
elSicomoro
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I was thinking Michael Jackson...
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Old 02-18-2004, 07:18 PM   #43
staceyv
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mary jane...he used to smoke too much weed.
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Old 02-18-2004, 07:19 PM   #44
elSicomoro
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Quote:
Originally posted by quzah
Yeah, but if his soul was on fire, would you spit on it to put it out?
I'd actually get him some water...unless he was pulling a Thich Quang Duc.
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Old 02-18-2004, 07:20 PM   #45
staceyv
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hey artie, learn how to spell his fucking name correctly before you go on and on about idiots...
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