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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 04-11-2007, 11:28 PM   #151
SteveDallas
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Of course they do. Knowledge like that will come in handy if he writes in a gerbil. You know, a gerbil . . . like a book of paper you can write stuff in. (Credit my daughter, from about the same age.)
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Old 04-15-2007, 09:18 AM   #152
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This is a great thread....gotta love the way kids minds work.

My grandson will be 4 next month....several months ago he was playing doctor with mommy and checked her eyes and ears and nose. All was okay. Then he said, "Open your mouth big Mommy!" She did, he looked in and saw the uvula (hanging thing) in the back of her mouth and said, "Mommy! You have a pecker in your mouth!"
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Old 04-18-2007, 09:34 PM   #153
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Last night we were talking to the kids about being an organ donor and we were explaining the whole process to them, including the fact that in most cases, if we donate organs it's because we've died before we were old and our organs were used up. Obviously this meant that the kids made the connection to us maybe dying while we're still youngish, so it led to a discussion about burials and funerals etc.

After we'd stopped chatting, my son Aden sat and thought for a minute and then asked, "Mum, when you die, do you want to be crucified or buried". I told him I didn't really care, but that I'd rather be cremated than crucified.
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Old 04-18-2007, 10:05 PM   #154
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Not me... if I had a choice I would much rather be crucified! In my leather jacket, sprinkled with birdseed!
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Old 04-19-2007, 01:36 AM   #155
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You want the birds to eat you?
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Old 04-19-2007, 02:27 AM   #156
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Yup.
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:02 AM   #157
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This morning, dad was in the shower, I was brushing my teeth and the pup was on the floor with her blanket. Dad made a comment about a 'f*ckin' show... and I said WHAT!! since the little one was right there. She pipes back with, ''he said ...puppet show, mom.''

He's lucky he gets to let that swear word slide...
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:09 AM   #158
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rkzenrage View Post
Not me... if I had a choice I would much rather be crucified! In my leather jacket, sprinkled with birdseed!
I don't blame you. I want to die getting nailed with peckers all over me too.
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Old 04-20-2007, 05:03 AM   #159
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There's a famous one from the theatre, starring Rex Harrison IIRC:

During a performance of My Fair Lady, Rex had gas. And then he couldn't hold it any more:

"Manners? My manners are the same as Colonel Pickering's." --BRRRRAAPP! Brought the house down.

It's almost too bad it didn't, er, transpire in an earlier scene:

"Pickering, this is going to be ghastly."

[SFX]

"You're right, Higgins. It is ghastly."
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Last edited by Urbane Guerrilla; 04-20-2007 at 05:13 AM.
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Old 04-20-2007, 06:16 AM   #160
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a friends daughter was allowed to go to the bar to get herself a snack. she asked the barmaid "are you a man?" the barmaid said "no sweetheart, i'm a woman. what can i get you?" friends daughter ordered her snack, took it from the barmaid and said "wel, you look like a man to me."
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Old 04-20-2007, 10:21 AM   #161
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Damn! It got chilly in here~
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Old 05-24-2007, 05:10 PM   #162
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I can't wait to see how Young Master Dallas' teacher reacts to this bit of homework.
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Old 05-24-2007, 05:16 PM   #163
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Excellent, STeve! A chip off the old block.

My niece and family were eating pizza one night, and Jeopardy was on the kitchen tv. The "answer" was "what is a pond?" Anna, totally incredulous, says "That guy doesn't even know what a POND is!"
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Old 05-24-2007, 06:15 PM   #164
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Not really... I prefer a modest sedan myself.
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Old 05-25-2007, 01:58 AM   #165
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HAHA, you teach him steve.
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