Well that's that - Page 3

sexobon · 07-08-2012, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

... this woman gained 100 pounds during our time together and i was nothing but supportive about whatever decisions she made about it. somehow she still got mad at me and needed me to change. ...

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

... How long were you together? ...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

8 years

Sounds like it's high time you scratched the seven year itch.

Flint · 07-08-2012, 10:55 PM

Sorry, bro. You know, you'll work through this, and keep on bein' you.

classicman · 07-09-2012, 12:19 AM

Damn Tony. Hopin it gets a little better for you every day.
At least now you've got no excuse to miss bowling with Jim & I.

ZenGum · 07-09-2012, 06:46 AM

Well, crap.

infinite monkey · 07-09-2012, 09:07 AM

I'm so sorry to read this.

WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jimhelm · 07-09-2012, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman

Damn Tony. Hopin it gets a little better for you every day.
At least now you've got no excuse to miss bowling with Jim & I.

word.

AND!

Let's go to Victory Brewing again sometime. Not only will I not judge you for having a 3rd beer, I'll chug you for who buys the 4th!

jimhelm · 07-09-2012, 09:39 AM

someone find that post Tony made where he was playing Bass in his old band, and there were some chicks hitting on him.

Spexxvet · 07-09-2012, 09:58 AM

Sorry to hear this, Tony

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

but goddammit this woman gained 100 pounds during our time together and i was nothing but supportive about whatever decisions she made about it. somehow she still got mad at me and needed me to change. i don't know what a relationship is any more. it's not showing love. whatever that is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

whenever I'm pointing the finger of blame at someone, I've got three fingers pointing back at me. I LOVE to externalize my problems on to other people. Food for thought.

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

it's probably more about her than you.

Some people -when they realise they are unhappy with themselves/their lives- go for the jugular as a quick answer -get rid of everything and all will get better.

Maybe she realised you noticed the 100lb. Probably easier to get rid of you than that.... Maybe you don't care about the 100lb, but if she did (deep inside), doesn't matter what you thought.....

I agree with Bri and Monster. It could very well be externalized self-loathing. I've been there. On both ends.

Undertoad · 07-09-2012, 10:04 AM

She never wanted to go anywhere. She was actually apologetic about her weight. A few times we would run into people I knew and she was always like, oh god oh god I'm sorry people had to see you with me. And I was like, J, christ, don't ever say that. Shit happens.

But when I suggested she was unhappy with herself she would deny it

Quote:

someone find that post Tony made where he was playing Bass in his old band, and there were some chicks hitting on him.

This never actually happened to my knowledge.

jimhelm · 07-09-2012, 10:24 AM

oh. maybe that was some other UT I know.

or maybe we talked about it in chat.

or maybe I'm seeing the FUTURE!

Undertoad · 07-09-2012, 10:41 AM

Chicks hit on the skinny guitarist, not the fat bassist, it's just a fact of life.

eta no there was that one time when this lovely dark gal shook her ass directly at me, but it wasn't hitting on me, she immediately left after that, but I took it as her way of saying that I was bringing some serious funk which for a bassist is even better than actually getting hit on.

jimhelm · 07-09-2012, 10:45 AM

Thats what I was thinking of.

And she was hitting on you...and girls like the thick string.

•spoken in to my phone

Nirvana · 07-09-2012, 11:28 AM

"feels good after it stops hurtin"

I hope that will be your future [hugs]

Glinda · 07-09-2012, 12:19 PM

Very sad. Sorry, UT.

But here's the thing - after all that time of being a part of something else, you need time to be yourself again. It sucks not having your partner there to chat with, bounce ideas off of, or just sit in silence, but you're clearly healthy in the head or you wouldn't be in mourning at the moment.

So, PLEASE don't try to fill the temporary void with anything else but yourself for at least six months, longer if possible. When my ex and I broke up after 11 years, I was just... broken, for want of a better word. I felt like one of my lungs had stopped working, or something.

But I learned to breathe again. And in that learning process, I discovered that I was actually a better, happier, healthier person on my own. I realized that I was what fulfilled me, and that whatever came along in the form of another person/relationship would be the icing on the cake that was me.

BE THE CAKE!

DanaC · 07-09-2012, 12:37 PM

be the cake! I like it.

07-08-2012, 10:55 PM	#32
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	Sorry, bro. You know, you'll work through this, and keep on bein' you. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

07-09-2012, 12:19 AM	#33
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Damn Tony. Hopin it gets a little better for you every day. At least now you've got no excuse to miss bowling with Jim & I. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

07-09-2012, 06:46 AM	#34
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Well, crap. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

07-09-2012, 09:39 AM	#37
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	someone find that post Tony made where he was playing Bass in his old band, and there were some chicks hitting on him. __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

07-09-2012, 10:24 AM	#40
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	oh. maybe that was some other UT I know. or maybe we talked about it in chat. or maybe I'm seeing the FUTURE! __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

07-09-2012, 09:07 AM	#35
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	I'm so sorry to read this. WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

07-09-2012, 10:41 AM	#41
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Chicks hit on the skinny guitarist, not the fat bassist, it's just a fact of life. eta no there was that one time when this lovely dark gal shook her ass directly at me, but it wasn't hitting on me, she immediately left after that, but I took it as her way of saying that I was bringing some serious funk which for a bassist is even better than actually getting hit on.

07-09-2012, 10:45 AM	#42
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	Thats what I was thinking of. And she was hitting on you...and girls like the thick string. •spoken in to my phone __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

07-09-2012, 11:28 AM	#43
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	"feels good after it stops hurtin" I hope that will be your future [hugs] __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

07-09-2012, 12:19 PM	#44
Glinda Fucktard Resistance League Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: 1.14 acres of heaven Posts: 1,512	Very sad. Sorry, UT. But here's the thing - after all that time of being a part of something else, you need time to be yourself again. It sucks not having your partner there to chat with, bounce ideas off of, or just sit in silence, but you're clearly healthy in the head or you wouldn't be in mourning at the moment. So, PLEASE don't try to fill the temporary void with anything else but yourself for at least six months, longer if possible. When my ex and I broke up after 11 years, I was just... broken, for want of a better word. I felt like one of my lungs had stopped working, or something. But I learned to breathe again. And in that learning process, I discovered that I was actually a better, happier, healthier person on my own. I realized that I was what fulfilled me, and that whatever came along in the form of another person/relationship would be the icing on the cake that was me. BE THE CAKE!

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