The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Home Base

Home Base A starting point, and place for threads don't seem to belong anywhere else

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-11-2013, 05:15 PM   #1
limey
Encroaching on your decrees
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland
Posts: 6,794
Another new euphemism

I was musing aloud the other day that alcohol free beer should have another name. If'n you weren't expecting it to taste like beer some brands would actually taste OK. And the name has to be appealing, so that the designated driver enjoys placing their order for a drink. A friend, listening to me, piped up "You mean like A Big Dick?". Exactly.
Who doesn't want to stride into a bar and confidently say "mine's a Big Dick!"?
It works for all genders, all situations. Try ordering a Big Dick in this thread tonight and you'll see what I mean!


Sent by thought transference
__________________
Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of
limey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2013, 08:40 PM   #2
jimhelm
a beautiful fool
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,504
So, you're going with Big Dick?

We don't even get to come up with names?

What if you want a double? I'd like a double big dick?
__________________
There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool
jimhelm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2013, 09:24 PM   #3
limegreenc
shed door curio
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 406
no...you want an African big dick
__________________
“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
limegreenc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2013, 09:33 PM   #4
jimhelm
a beautiful fool
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: 39.939705
Posts: 4,504
No I don't!

Near Beer is no good? Failed Ale maybe? Sassparilla? O'Doules? Malk?

Anyway, do you actually drink it? I don't know anyone else who does. If I am the DD, I would be drinking Coke or water or coffee or tea, I reckon. How is it? Are there different kinds of tastes, like real beer? Is there a bitter hippy kind, and a smooth lager kind?
__________________
There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool
jimhelm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2013, 06:22 AM   #5
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
Brand naming. I likey.
I'd suggest Courage if'n if hadn't already been taken, because it takes courage to order a non-alcoholic drink of everyone else is drinking.

How about Punnish? That spelling?
__________________
Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac
Sundae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2013, 07:16 AM   #6
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 19,475
The fact that no one drinks non-alcoholic beer just confirms my belief that everyone secretly knows beer tastes like ass, and they only drink it for the buzz and the social acceptance. You get neither with the fake beers, so no one drinks them, even though the flavor can't be that hard to mock up.
__________________
My book
My spirit animal
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2013, 07:33 AM   #7
fargon
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: La Crosse, WI
Posts: 8,202
I drink fake beer. And like it.
__________________
Annoy the ones that ignore you!!!
I live a blessed life
I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!!
Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.
fargon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2013, 08:29 AM   #8
glatt
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,103
Beer sometimes tastes really good. Depends on my mood. One thing though, this fad of ordering pale ales makes no sense at all. I think people are just able to remember that pale ale is a kind of beer, so they order it. It can't be because they like the taste. Pale ales are horrible. Lagers are where it's at. Even a pilsner is better than a pale ale.

Really though, I'm happiest with a red wine.
glatt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2013, 08:58 AM   #9
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,122
glatt, you get used to that bitterness, and it becomes rather refreshing. I used to hate the citrus taste of an IPA, but now, I actually prefer them.

I used to like sweet beers, like Tripel Ales and Lagers.... but now... I really like the HOPS. You have to train your tongue. there are beers that bridge the gap....like....

If you have some extra $$, try Duvel. it's $13 for a 4 pack... but it is the champagne of beers. dry and slightly fruity... crisp.... thin and quenchy.... it's really really good.



BEER ADVOCATE'S OPINION

Quote:
Todd


Colorado

4.85/5 rDev +13.6%
look: 5 | smell: 4.5 | taste: 5 | feel: 4.5 | overall: 5

Presentation: 33cl custom shorty with a bulbed neck. Best before date: 03/2003. Serve chilled.

Appearance: Cloudy (from escaped yeast) and pale. A grande creamy, chunk head adorns the top and sticks with great stay. The colour and head are perfection incarnate.

Smell: Delicate spice, pepper and clean malt sweetness.

Taste: Smooth and extremely creamy on the palate. A lively carbonation creates a light mouthfeel and crispness. Upfront flavours are bitter and sweet, with a lean on the sweet; distinct fruity malt esters, bold spiciness and rind-like twang that mellows and balances. Finishes slightly grain/dry with some residual spice and dextrin notes.

Notes: Deceivingly seductive and powerful. It lurs you with mesmerizing eye candy, then as the absolute refresher, then whacks the shite out of you with an 8.5% abv club. It's not called the "Devil" for nothing.

One of the best beers on the face of the Earth. Bow down to this god of beers.

Serving type: bottle

12-06-2000 21:21:53 | More by Todd
Quote:
Jason


Massachusetts

4.68/5 rDev +9.6%
look: 5 | smell: 4.5 | taste: 4.5 | feel: 5 | overall: 5

330 ml stubby brown bottle with a best before date of 09 2006. Quick tips on how to pour the beer as well as “Bottle Conditioned” on the label.

Appearance: A perfect amount of foamy head from a trained pour into the appropriate Duvel glass, the lace clings to the glass in patchy clumps. The clarity is great as the pouring went well and the yeast stayed in the glass. Very pale in colour, some would confuse this with a lager as far as the light golden hue.

Smell: Hints of apple skin (juicy fruit), clean alcohol and a slight yeast bite in the aroma.

Taste & Mouthfeel: Clean pale malt flavour throughout. Three big flashes of yeast, hop bitterness and alcohol hit the palate. Big cleansing crispness makes you want an other sip. A tad juicy in the middle, with a big warming alcohol landing middle to end. Mild medicinal phenols peak in the middle and nearly vanish as the alcohol takes over.

Notes: A top shelf brew, this one does it for me and then some. Pretty much sex in a bottle and the devil told me to drink it. Duvel is close to dry champagne but so much more. Between the bitterness and the sheer crispness, this beer is what I expect from the Belgian strong pale ale style.

Serving type: bottle

12-09-2003 03:59:57 | More by Jason


__________________
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man out of a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

Last edited by lumberjim; 10-12-2013 at 10:05 AM.
lumberjim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2013, 09:16 AM   #10
Lamplighter
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods
Posts: 6,402
If you ordered " Duvel " in a Montana bar, you'd likely get Moose Drool.
Attached Images
 
Lamplighter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2013, 02:16 PM   #11
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 38,136
Quote:
Originally Posted by limegreenc View Post
no...you want an African big dick
No, no, no...You want to ask for A Big Black Dick.

Quote:
Barfly: I'd like A Big Black Dick, please.
Bartender: Yeah, well, who wouldn't?
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2013, 02:32 PM   #12
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
The Firkin chain of pubs used to stock an amusingly named range of beer.
Firkin Dogbolter being one of one of the tamer ones.

Occasionally a punter would already have suveyed what we had on the pumps but would try to embarrass us by asking for one of the fruitier names that they knew perfectly well we wouldn't have - being a freehouse.

I can't remember any of the others, but I do remember my response to that one. "No, but I do have hia cock in a jar." Nonsensical but immediate and on the spot.
And made it clear to said customer that the majority of barmaids had heard the lot.

I think that's why Ben mostly employed student nurses.
Funny how the ones with big tits seemed to get the most shifts though.
__________________
Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

Last edited by Sundae; 10-12-2013 at 02:42 PM.
Sundae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2013, 04:05 PM   #13
Carruthers
Junior Master Dwellar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buckinghamshire UK
Posts: 3,735
I remember seeing a newspaper headline about the latest complaint from the Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA): It simply said: 'The Gripes of Froth'.

Barmaid! A pint of Stench & Dredge's Old Peculier, if you please.
Carruthers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2013, 09:18 PM   #14
monster
Werd Nord
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 29,521
0Beach bang. 'Cause it's fucking close to water.

I drink low alcohol beer. It's fine. Now the regular stuff tastes funny. It's just what you get used to. Why do I drink it? So I can drink more I drink at home, though, so no DD required. But beest is on kid taxi duty Tonight is a midnight pick-up for the freshman. I've still had little enough to drive, but by midnight (a) I'll be asleep and (b) I won't be driving any more. I'm too knackered anyway. I did the early morning shift and to the party.
__________________
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
monster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2013, 03:19 PM   #15
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 25,853
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carruthers View Post
I remember seeing a newspaper headline about the latest complaint from the Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA): It simply said: 'The Gripes of Froth'.

Barmaid! A pint of Stench & Dredge's Old Peculier, if you please.

Hey! I've been there, the Old Pequliar. It's pretty nice, though I don't remember them having Stench & Dredge's on tap. I'll make a note for next time.
__________________
Also a very stable genius.
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:03 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.