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Old 02-22-2008, 01:18 PM   #226
lookout123
changed his status to single
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Right behind you. No, the other side.
Posts: 10,308
Zap! There is no evil in the world. Unfortunately you aren't here to enjoy the pristine planet without a single human to be found.


I wish I had more time to enjoy my boys.
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Old 02-23-2008, 07:07 PM   #227
smoothmoniker
to live and die in LA
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Los Angeles
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You gain an extra 5 minutes to enjoy your boys as the police mistakenly go to the wrong house first.

I wish I could have a rational conversation with people about politics.
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Old 02-24-2008, 06:39 AM   #228
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 21,819
You have dozens of trenchant conversations each day for the rest of your life. Welcome to the nuthouse.

I wish I could tell which Presidential candidate would be good for the country.
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Old 02-24-2008, 10:40 AM   #229
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
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You know with absolute prescient certainty which candidate will do the best job.
They lose.

I wish I could sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time.
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Old 02-24-2008, 11:59 AM   #230
smoothmoniker
to live and die in LA
 
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Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 2,090
You sleep longer, much longer, and wake up 20 years later with Prince Charming's tongue in your mouth.

I wish I could figure out which process is flooding the swap space on my Debian server.
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Old 02-26-2008, 04:20 PM   #231
deadbeater
Sir Post-A-Lot
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 439
You find out to your horror it was a small part of a world-wide DDOS attack by a group of script kiddies.

I wish that Dwayne Johnson would be in a great, great movie that surpasses Arnold in Terminator 2 as best performance by an athlete.

Last edited by deadbeater; 02-26-2008 at 05:11 PM.
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Old 02-28-2008, 08:03 AM   #232
paddlegal
Abhorrent Aberrant
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Central Arkansas
Posts: 27
Poof! The Tooth Fairy is a block buster hit but much to your consternation, Dwayne has a penchant for the same sex.

I wish people would stop littering the highways.
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Old 02-28-2008, 08:07 AM   #233
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 24,968
Kazzam! You wake up in the morning to find that you are the last human being on earth and there is nobody to litter the highways ever again.....

I wish my student loans/grants were higher.
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Old 02-28-2008, 11:24 AM   #234
smoothmoniker
to live and die in LA
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 2,090
Your students loans are much higher, much much higher, but it's because they keep bogarting your weed, leaving you dry, with no way to pass philosophy.

I wish someone (other than me) would tell my wife about the upcoming holiday, "Steak and BJ Day".
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Old 02-28-2008, 12:06 PM   #235
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
Your wife finds out about Steak and BJ day, but, misunderstanding what that day is about, takes you to a Steakhouse whose entertainment is an old guy who does BJ Thomas cover songs.

I wish I could fly like an eagle.
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Old 08-07-2013, 05:45 PM   #236
Crimson Ghost
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,206
You can fly like an eagle, but Steve Miller sues you for copyright infringement.

I wish I could get a full nights sleep.
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I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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Old 08-07-2013, 05:48 PM   #237
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
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You need someone to suck that insomnia out of you.
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Old 08-07-2013, 09:59 PM   #238
limegreenc
shed door curio
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 406
You can't get a good nights sleep because the people in the motel room beside you are having a three way, and all you can hear is "In the ass, in the ass...while Pink Floyd is singing Comfortably Numb cranked to the tits.

I wish I was 29 again....
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Old 08-08-2013, 08:36 AM   #239
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
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You are 29 again... 29 days.


I wish it would be under 100 degrees outside today.
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Old 08-08-2013, 02:03 PM   #240
Crimson Ghost
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by limegreenc View Post
You can't get a good nights sleep because the people in the motel room beside you are having a three way, and all you can hear is "In the ass, in the ass...while Pink Floyd is singing Comfortably Numb cranked to the tits.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!


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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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