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Old 10-25-2005, 12:59 PM   #31
Elspode
I Know I Suck...You Know I Suck...Still Love The Cellar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,658
Your kids do their chores, but you are struck mute and your hands and arms fall off.

I wish I could predict the outcome of sporting events.
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I just woke up and found all this sticky stuff under me...
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog
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Old 10-25-2005, 01:10 PM   #32
Happy Monkey
I think this line's mostly filler.
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: DC
Posts: 12,184
Poof!
You become a Pro Wrestling scriptwriter.

I wish I could keep my health indefinately.
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|...............| We live in the nick of times.
| Len 17, Wid 3 |
|_______________| [pics]
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Old 10-25-2005, 02:49 PM   #33
smoothmoniker
to live and die in LA
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 2,090
even after the dozens of tests, the doctors still can't give you a definitive answer on why your teeth keep exploding.

I wish I could take financial risks without having any negative consequences.
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to live and die in LA
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:23 PM   #34
Pie
Gone and done
 
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Posts: 4,808
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose... You're broke.

I wish I had gotten a PhD.
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per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions
The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:25 PM   #35
Trilby
Slattern of the Swail
 
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A PhD is bestowed upon you from on high---too bad it's in proctology!

I wish I could control the entire world.
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
—James Barrie


Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:26 PM   #36
mrnoodle
bent
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
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You control the entire world. You're not good at it, though.

I wish I would stop procastinating.
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Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:27 PM   #37
Trilby
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NOODLE!!!!
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
—James Barrie


Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:28 PM   #38
mrnoodle
bent
 
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dude.

i was writing it before there were any more. edited to reflect the new entries
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Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:31 PM   #39
BigV
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
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Granted.

It's only procrastination if you remember you didn't do it. Your chronic Alzheimer's removes this burden from you. You really enjoy the novelty of your velcro closing slippers, every morning.




I wish I wasn't afraid to wish for something that y'all'll just mess up.
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Remember:

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)
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Old 10-25-2005, 04:06 PM   #40
Elspode
I Know I Suck...You Know I Suck...Still Love The Cellar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,658
You no longer fear wishing for things that Cellarites will subsequently mess up, however, coming to grips with your fear shatters your grip on reality, and you wander the streets talking to telephone poles and dogs, calling out Wolf's name.

I wish I could do plumbing work.
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I just woke up and found all this sticky stuff under me...
Patrick

"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog
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Old 10-25-2005, 04:51 PM   #41
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
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Granted.

You are cordially invited to our next holiday feast. We can put all the leaves in the table, break out the card tables, dirty every pot and pan in the kitchen and there will be wine and merrymaking and gustatory delights for all! But since our small old house has antique plumbing and *no* garbage disposal, you are guaranteed a shot at some plumbing work, after all that food will need to go somewhere, somehow, and soon. So pick up your tools and prepare to show your plumber's crack to all.



I wish this current stressful situation with my mom was successfully finished.
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Remember:

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)
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Old 10-25-2005, 05:26 PM   #42
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 57,531
settled But your so happy about it you celebrate by buying 35 goats with forewarned repercussions at home.

I wish I could retire.
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Everything is interesting... look closer.
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Old 10-25-2005, 07:23 PM   #43
Bullitt
This is a fully functional babe lair
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Akron, OH
Posts: 2,323
You retire, and 5 days later paper and electronic record of your existance vanishes, Social Security, everything; you get pulled over speeding to Wal*Mart and end up getting deported to Ukraine.



I wish i didn't have ADD.
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Kiss my white Irish ass.

Last edited by Bullitt; 10-25-2005 at 07:26 PM.
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Old 10-25-2005, 09:56 PM   #44
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 17,976
Your attention span focuses and legthens, until you realize that you are OCD.

I wish we could eat dinner at 7:00 in the evening like normal people.
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Old 10-25-2005, 10:34 PM   #45
footfootfoot
I may have overstated my temerity's degree of mitigation.
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble

I wish we could eat dinner at 7:00 in the evening like normal people.
Every evening you sit down to dinner at 7:00 pm and have a nice hearty bowl of cheetos and grasshopper pie, washed down with warm, flat genny cream ale.

I wish I had more time in my darkroom.
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