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Old 04-12-2009, 12:59 PM   #46
Glinda
Fucktard Resistance League
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: 1.14 acres of heaven
Posts: 1,512
Mind the gap!!

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Old 04-12-2009, 01:57 PM   #47
Skunks
I thought I changed this.
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: western nowhere, ny
Posts: 412
Inflate your tires.

Put the cheese away when you're done eating it, drunkie.

File your taxes.
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Old 04-12-2009, 02:34 PM   #48
Jill
Colonist Extraordinaire
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Redondo Beach, CA (transplant from St. Louis, MO)
Posts: 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by capnhowdy View Post
There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

Shel Silverstein

If you hang your keys on a hook by the door, you'll never have to frantically search your house for them.

Save trees; go to www.catalogchoice.org and sign up to be removed from unwanted catalogs.

Help protect your identity (and save trees); go to https://www.optoutprescreen.com/?rf=t and opt out of pre-approved credit card offers.
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Old 04-12-2009, 02:45 PM   #49
capnhowdy
Blatantly Homosapien
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,200
Thank you, Jill. I enjoyed that.
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Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.
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Old 04-12-2009, 02:53 PM   #50
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
Stand clear of the doors, please.
Stand clear of the closing doors.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac
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Old 04-12-2009, 02:57 PM   #51
Trilby
Slattern of the Swail
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 15,654
cellar PUBIC reminder: please shave
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
—James Barrie


Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum
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Old 04-12-2009, 03:00 PM   #52
limey
Encroaching on your decrees
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland
Posts: 7,016
Quote:
Originally Posted by richlevy View Post
...
Never get a credit card from a company based in South Dakota (good luck with that).
Or insure your goods and chattels with an insurer from Delaware ...
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Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of
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Old 04-13-2009, 07:24 AM   #53
classicman
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
Do not operate heavy machinery while on medication.
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"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt
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Old 04-13-2009, 08:51 AM   #54
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
The Cellar has been accident-free for 37 days.
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:09 AM   #55
sugarpop
Professor
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: the edge of the abyss
Posts: 1,947
Don't lose your mind while running through the mind fields.
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Old 04-13-2009, 11:07 AM   #56
SteveDallas
Your Bartender
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Philly Burbs, PA
Posts: 7,651
Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
The Cellar has been accident-free for 37 days.
Are you talking physical accidents? Or somebody getting drunk & making posts they shouldn't have accidents?
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Old 04-13-2009, 12:11 PM   #57
Cicero
Looking forward to open mic night.
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 5,148
Caution high winds may exist.
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Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung
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Old 04-13-2009, 01:36 PM   #58
Meursault
Cantankerous Incantonator
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: n tx
Posts: 56
Warning: This site may harm your your computer.
<click here to skip ad>

Do Not Occupy This Dumpster

Remove Windscreen Cover Before Driving.

If this phone fails to work, Call (800) 888-8990 between 8 AM - 4:30 PM PST

Never iron clothes while they are being worn

on fireplace log:
Caution --Risk of Fire.

on pepper spray:
May Cause Eye Irritation

package of fishing hooks: harmful if swallowed

on bag of peanuts:
Warning --Contains Nuts

American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Open packet, eat nuts."

Remove Packaging Before Eating.

Do Not Eat Toner.

This product contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E and K have been added.

printed _on product seal of some vitamins i got _just _this _morning:
Do Not Use if Seal is Broken or Missing.

On Nytol Nighttime Sleep-Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

on hair dryer:
Do not use in shower. Do Not Use While Sleeping or Unconscious.

Remove used tampon before inserting a new one.

Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally.

Always wear eye protection.

Switch should be in On position before operating.

Do Not Place Hands Inside While Blades Are In Motion.

For best results, remove cap.

This Product Can Will Only Protect The Part Of The Body It's Covering.

May be hot after heating.

If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.

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Please exercise caution --costume mask and chest plate are not protective; cape does not enable wearer to fly.
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Old 04-13-2009, 01:43 PM   #59
sugarpop
Professor
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: the edge of the abyss
Posts: 1,947
bwahahahaha.

Some of the instruction warning labels of products is hilarious. but you know, we don't really have natural selection anymore, so companies have to protect themselves from being sued by MORONS.
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Old 04-13-2009, 01:50 PM   #60
dar512
dar512 is now Pete Zicato
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Chicago suburb
Posts: 4,968
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meursault View Post
This product contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E and K have been added.
I love the NPR game show "Wait, wait, don't tell me." From there I glean important information like the fact that Olestra is making a comeback -- as an industrial additive for paints and lubricants.
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