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Old 05-30-2018, 07:29 AM   #91
Clodfobble
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Facebook is hell on anyone grieving for any reason. The only way I found to stop that constant salt-in-the-wound feeling was to quit completely.
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Old 05-31-2018, 12:59 AM   #92
lumberjim
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Monster, I think I've felt your grief vicariously more than I ever have before when people lose people.

I was really really sad when we lost briana. I was maybe even more sad when Sundae died. But with them, it was my own loss. I guess it's because i feel like you and i are very similar.

I wanted to say thank you for sharing this shitty part of your life with me. Sounds weird, i know. But.... Well, i guess you probably get what I'm saying.

I love you, and I'm so sorry you lost your buddy.

Fuck
I need to blow my nose
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Last edited by lumberjim; 05-31-2018 at 02:35 AM.
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Old 05-31-2018, 05:31 AM   #93
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You told Beest it was OK to go because that's what he needed to hear to make it easier for him. You love him, and you were bound to say exactly that. We are the people to hear that it was not ok, not at all. I so hope that sharing here in teh Cellar helps you to let off steam, eases the pressure of that immense yell of grief a little, even if only for a moment.
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Old 05-31-2018, 11:35 AM   #94
monster
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thanks, guys I can say things to you that I can't say to my here friends. Mostly because there's no danger of you trying to hug me
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Old 05-31-2018, 12:05 PM   #95
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Only lame attempts like this.
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Old 05-31-2018, 04:02 PM   #96
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Facebook and social media in general can be dangerous waters emotionally speaking. The same way radios seem only to play poignant songs when you're grieving.

It was a good lie you told him, Mon.

I like that you come here and offload. There's fuck all else we can do to help, but this we got.
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Old 05-31-2018, 04:27 PM   #97
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...the hell? I could see just fine a minute ago.
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Old 05-31-2018, 04:41 PM   #98
fargon
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It's dusty here too.
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Old 05-31-2018, 06:11 PM   #99
monster
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Ya know, Facebook saved me when I was holed up alone with a dying man for 48 hours. I created a tiny group of close friends who know what the fuck was going on and I was not so alone, I could yatter away in the middle of the night and if none of them were there at that precise moment, they were soon. But I didn't have to have them come to the house or talk on the phone.

But I'm also perfectly capable of avoiding it if I want to. However, I believe that hiding away from other people's happiness is not necessarily a healthy approach. I prefer the approach of admitting when it's a little hard to swallow and stepping away. And maybe using a place where they will never see it so it can't hurt them for a little cathartic ranting.

MMMMkay?
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Old 06-01-2018, 02:42 PM   #100
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Cathartic ranting is cathartic, mmkay?

Rant away, girl.
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Old 06-01-2018, 05:59 PM   #101
limey
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These uses of social media are a true,valuable and hidden benefit of a much maligned feature of modern life.
Spill what you want to spill here, Monster. We gotcher.


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Old 10-08-2018, 10:30 PM   #102
monster
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Crying tonight. This is how I feel all the time. the stupidest things.

It's senior night for Thor for Water Polo and Marching Band his week. These aren't even making me cry yet. I know beest so wanted to see him through high school and wanted to be there. It was so against the odds by two years but he fought like hell to try and make it. But he isn't here when I want to discuss the best way to change from incandescent to LED bulbs in the bathrooms and he isn't here to do lunches when I'm pooped, or to meet with Thunderboy's new therapist... he doesn't walk in to the bleachers in his work clothes just in time to catch the start of the Friday night game in local Water Polo tournaments.......

he just isn't here and so much of me depended on that, I've found....

I'm contemplating printing and taking a life-sized cut-out of beest to the senior nights ..... but not really. The Spanish Inquisition at the "goodbye" used my lifetime quota of irreverence.....
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Old 10-09-2018, 10:08 AM   #103
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sorry, buddy
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Old 10-09-2018, 10:26 AM   #104
limey
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ah shit
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Old 10-09-2018, 10:51 AM   #105
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