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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 06-02-2018, 03:17 AM   #1096
Gravdigr
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Ya don't have to be parents to appreciate this, but, I thought you parents might appreciate this:

Quote:
I walked my daughter into her preschool classroom. She looked for her name tag and picked it up off of the little table. As I clipped it onto her dress, I noticed her teacher motioning me with her hand to come speak with her. Her face carried a smirk, one that I had seen before when I was a kid.

I was in trouble.

I stood up and immediately started sweating. "What'd I do?" I thought. She waved toward herself, inviting me to go with her away from the other parents. Then she began talking in a low whisper. "I have to tell you something," she said. "Oh, God. What did my daughter say?" I asked.

If her teacher quieted her for speaking the truth, it could have had a negative impact on her.

Scenarios of my worst parenting moments began flashing through my brain, including all of the possible things my daughter has heard me say that she could have mimicked. Which swear word did she repeat in front of the whole class?

"No, no. It's not bad," the teacher said as she started to tell me the story. "So, the kids were all sitting on the carpet, and we began talking about Spring and everything that comes with it. I began telling the children about baby birds hatching and things like that. Then all of a sudden, your daughter raised her hand and blurted out, 'Well, when I was a baby, I came from my mommy's vagina!'"

I had to shove both the laughter and pride down my throat. I paused, and then responded, "Well, she asked me once so I told her the truth." Her teacher said, "No, it was fine actually. Until the one little boy said, 'That's a hole, right?'"

Holy hell.
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Old 06-08-2018, 01:19 PM   #1097
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20 Times Kids Came Up With Their Own Brilliant Words For Common Items

There are some gems in there...
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Old 08-09-2018, 12:37 PM   #1098
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The MM, the Inch, my GF, and I were swimming in a lake in Vermont a week ago and as we walked to the beach there was a sign that said:
WARNING
WATER IS INFESTED WITH EURASIAN WATER MILFOIL

We didn't see any obvious signs of infestation of anything, and we had no idea what Eurasian Water Milfoil was, but the word infestation seemed to imply insects or some sort of dangerous microscopic and dangerous critter.

We're trying to figure out what it might be, milfoil meaning many leaves, but we didn't see any plant life to speak of in the clear lake water.

ME: What the hell is Eurasian Milfoil?
Inch: It's probably not a type of oil.
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Old 08-09-2018, 12:42 PM   #1099
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GF, eh? No wonder you don't come around here no more.
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Old 08-09-2018, 01:08 PM   #1100
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all busy gettin' some MILF oil
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Old 08-09-2018, 01:49 PM   #1101
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I'd bet money she's Eurasian, too!
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Old 08-09-2018, 01:53 PM   #1102
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Useless sign. It ought to have been a sign saying to clean any boats (or anything else that might collect plant matter) thoroughly before taking them to other lakes, so it doesn't get transplanted there as well.
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Old 08-09-2018, 02:36 PM   #1103
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Hiya Feets!!! How's things?

Milf oil...That is priceless.
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Old 08-09-2018, 06:54 PM   #1104
footfootfoot
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Hi everybody!

I will come back with an update soon, the Cliff's notes version is things are good, have been dating a woman I met on acceptable cherub, she lives about an hour away and is a real sweetheart from the midwest, transplanted to VT.

She has a fantastic sense of humor and we laugh a lot. Making up for lost time in that and other departments.

The kids are getting older, taller, smarter all the time.

It seems like only the other day when I was searching for parenting advice for my newborn and one of the top hits was:
Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up
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Old 08-09-2018, 07:58 PM   #1105
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Hi, foot!
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Old 08-09-2018, 08:03 PM   #1106
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, newborn?
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Old 08-09-2018, 08:11 PM   #1107
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Quote:
Originally Posted by footfootfoot View Post
The MM, the Inch, my GF, and I were swimming in a lake in Vermont a week ago and as we walked to the beach there was a sign that said:
WARNING
WATER IS INFESTED WITH EURASIAN WATER MILFOIL

We didn't see any obvious signs of infestation of anything, and we had no idea what Eurasian Water Milfoil was, but the word infestation seemed to imply insects or some sort of dangerous microscopic and dangerous critter.

We're trying to figure out what it might be, milfoil meaning many leaves, but we didn't see any plant life to speak of in the clear lake water.

ME: What the hell is Eurasian Milfoil?
Inch: It's probably not a type of oil.
Its Ok to swim there as long as your ears don't get submerged and don't pee in the water as they swim up your urethral canal.
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Old 08-09-2018, 09:23 PM   #1108
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
Whoa, whoa, whoa, newborn?
He said "seems like just the other day," as in, that was what brought him to the cellar all those years ago, when the inch was a newborn.

Glad you're doing well, foot! This new GF believes we're real people, right?
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Old 08-10-2018, 01:25 PM   #1109
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble View Post
This new GF believes we're real people, right?
I'm still not sure.
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Old 08-11-2018, 03:25 PM   #1110
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So far she hasn't doubted your existence.

I even told her my handle so she could research the unvarnished me before we started dating. It's been a little longer than a year that we've been going out. I guess what she read didn't scare her off.
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