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Old 02-12-2018, 05:56 AM   #1546
Griff
still says videotape
 
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pretty sure the vintage flying gear is in that aisle.
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Old 02-23-2018, 12:04 PM   #1547
Gravdigr
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The Barnes & Noble Nook HD Plus Is A Motherfucking Piece Of Shit.

Not today, but, yesterday.

The Barnes & Noble Turd HD Plus, I mean, the Barnes & Noble Nook Turd Plus, I mean, the Barnes & Noble Nook HD Turd, I mean the Barnes & Turd Nook HD Plus, I mean, oh you get it...

When the thing was brand new it was a turd. A turd w/a great screen. And the really great thing about this turd, was that when you updated the thing, about a third of them turned into bricks. So, I refused to update the thing, not really believing it could be made to be worse, but unwilling to risk bricking m'Nook.

I don't know how long I've had the thing, it was a gift from a friend, four-five years. Anyway, yesterday I picked up the Turd/Nook, wtfe, and the thing began updating itself. I know it was updating because the word "Updating" displayed itself across the great screen. I said "Oh shit!! M'Nook is about to brick itself!" and shut the thing off as fast as I could, which is 5 seconds, which is apparently enough time to download an update. When I turned it back on later, it still said "Updating", but that went away almost immediately, and was replaced by the word "Nook", which is what you see while the Turd is booting up. That's all it ever said. It's a brick. The Barnes & Noble Nook HD Plus is now no,longer a turd. It is a dried up, chalky, white, dog turd.

So I broke the motherfucking piece of shit Barnes & Noble Turd HD Plus over my thigh. Then threw it outside into the rain. Then I remembered the little, teensy microSD card, and went out into the rain and retrieved it. And then I stomped that motherfucking piece of shit Barnes & Noble TURD HD Plus into the fucking mud, where it has belonged since it was still wrapped in plastic.

NOTE: If you happen to be cursed with a Barnes & Noble Turd HD Plus, and they push an update onto it, and it bricks itself, and you break it over your thigh, for the love of God, CLOSE YOUR FUCKING EYES!!!!!!!!! A cloud of microscopically thin glass approximately the size of a Volkswagen Beetle WILL assail you. I have found glass everywhere. It's like glitter.

So, you won't accidentally run across ol' Grav bitching about his Turd, Nook, wtfe, anymore. It is no longer.

It's not pining for the fjords.

It isn't sleeping.

It has no lovely plumage.

I say you he dead.

(Pic to follow.)

ETA: I told you a pic was coming:

Name:  likeitshouldbe.JPG
Views: 127
Size:  204.0 KB

The stomping kinda took out some of the warp (the case was surprisingly flexible) that the breaking over the thigh put into it, but, it's still in the mud like a turd should be.

So long you piece of shit.
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Last edited by Gravdigr; 02-23-2018 at 12:21 PM.
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Old 02-23-2018, 02:20 PM   #1548
Carruthers
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Esteemed Mr G...

You have expressed a great deal of irritation, exasperation, vexation, indignation, anger, displeasure, and indeed pique, in your above account.

Just one question. Why have you posted it under 'What's mildly amusing you today?'
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Old 02-25-2018, 03:41 PM   #1549
limey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carruthers View Post
Esteemed Mr G...



You have expressed a great deal of irritation, exasperation, vexation, indignation, anger, displeasure, and indeed pique, in your above account.



Just one question. Why have you posted it under 'What's mildly amusing you today?'


This is mildly amusing me ....


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Old 02-27-2018, 06:05 PM   #1550
BigV
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carruthers View Post
Esteemed Mr G...

You have expressed a great deal of irritation, exasperation, vexation, indignation, anger, displeasure, and indeed pique, in your above account.

Just one question. Why have you posted it under 'What's mildly amusing you today?'
As I read his account, it's clear to me that he feels used, and was speaking in the present tense "am used". But I think perhaps he misunderstood "mildly".
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Old 02-28-2018, 01:38 PM   #1551
Gravdigr
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It was amusing after-the-fact. Mildly.

I thought that since ppl read my posts bitching and moaning about that, that thing, so much over the last year, or three, or four, someone might get a chuckle outta the final fit.

It was actually a fairly calm episode. kind alike "Well, fuck."

It's still out there, btw.

And I'm still finding glass. How can so much glass be in my room, and so much glass still be attached to the thing?
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Old 02-28-2018, 01:41 PM   #1552
Gravdigr
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That's an interesting business model, though. Build a product that bricks itself on updating. And then push the fucking update.

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Old 02-28-2018, 03:01 PM   #1553
Carruthers
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravdigr View Post
It was amusing after-the-fact. Mildly.

I thought that since ppl read my posts bitching and moaning about that, that thing, so much over the last year, or three, or four, someone might get a chuckle outta the final fit.

It was actually a fairly calm episode. kind alike "Well, fuck."

It's still out there, btw.

And I'm still finding glass. How can so much glass be in my room, and so much glass still be attached to the thing?
All understood.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravdigr View Post
That's an interesting business model, though. Build a product that bricks itself on updating. And then push the fucking update.

It's not up there with building a better mouse trap, is it?
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Old 06-13-2018, 10:36 AM   #1554
Happy Monkey
I think this line's mostly filler.
 
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Elon Musk makes me laugh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elon Musk
SpaceX option package for new Tesla Roadster will include ~10 small rocket thrusters arranged seamlessly around car. These rocket engines dramatically improve acceleration, top speed, braking & cornering. Maybe they will even allow a Tesla to fly
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Old 06-13-2018, 01:50 PM   #1555
Griff
still says videotape
 
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I am amused.
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Old 06-13-2018, 02:28 PM   #1556
Gravdigr
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I was tickled by the Not A Flame Thrower.
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Old 06-13-2018, 08:31 PM   #1557
captainhook455
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I was accidentally shot with a BB gun when young. I would rather have that then to be shot with a flame thrower that isn't a flame thrower.
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Old 06-14-2018, 03:44 PM   #1558
Gravdigr
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You hope it was an accident.
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Old 06-14-2018, 08:24 PM   #1559
fargon
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We routinely shot each other with BB guns, when we were kids back in the 60's.
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Old 06-14-2018, 08:25 PM   #1560
fargon
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And yes it hurt like hell.
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