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Old 02-03-2017, 12:15 PM   #1
chrisinhouston
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 1,857
I think my mother in law is getting ready to die

I think I have mentioned before that besides looking after various grandchildren I also help take care of my mother in law since my wife travels so much. Mom is close to 90 and up until now has been pretty much self sufficient. She lives in a senior living apartment facility, she cooks her own meals and other then using an electric wheelchair she is pretty independent. I take her to doctor's appointments since she forgets what to ask or remember what they tell her. I try to get her out once a week, her favorite lunch is the all beef hotdogs at Costco! She recenltly began having symptoms of Parkinson's although her tremors are mostly her right arm. We saw as Neurologist who said she is in the beginning stages.

Since early December we have noticed a real decline in her and her daily routine. She's gotten more forgetful, sometimes a bit confused and forgets to take her pills that we put out in daily doses. In January it became more obvious that she wasn't eating. I took her for a checkup with her family Dr. who we see about every 90 days so Medicare will approve her bath aide and a home health nurse and she had lost 14 lbs since August when he weighed her last.

But this week we think she is beginning the shut down process. She pretty much quit eating. She might take a bite and then say it just doesn't taste right. She also is drinking very little. She has developed a sort of tick where she licks her lips, it could be because she is getting dehydrated. She says she is not in any pain, not hungry or thirsty and is not sick in any way as her BP is great and no fever or anything. She has stopped watching TV which used to be her main companion other than her little lap dog. She just sits and pets the dog and looks out the window. She is very happy overall. We have asked her if she would like to see the Dr. or go to the hospital and she is very insistent not to do that. At the hospital they would probably give her IVs and get her back to normal but probably would not discharge her to go back home and insist she go to rehab or a nursing home. That would be very unpleasant for her.

My wife and I and her brother (only 2 children) have the belief that she is ready to die, perhaps voices from beyond are calling her to come and she is just tired of life. We feel like as long as she is comfortable and in no pain we will let her go. She has been widowed for about 12 years now, shes has no friends to speak of, only the family here.

Yesterday I went to a local funeral home to get prices. I had looked online a few months ago and saw the local place offered an online special for $1695, it was quite basic as that is what we want. They pick up the body, cremate on site and you pick up the container of ashes. We plan to scatter them at sea as we did with her husband's. So when the nice guy told me their basic package was $2400 but included things we didn't want I felt like when you go car shopping and try to get the price down. After a few minutes he agreed that they could do it for $1695!

Today I pulled all the legal paperwork together, powers of attorney, do not resuscitate, her will, etc. Just being proactive. She owns no property other than her personal belongings. The funeral home guy said if she dies in her apartment to call 911 and when the paramedics arrive show them the "do not resuscitate" and they will contact a Justice of the Peace Judge who will issue a death certificate and then the funeral home will be notified to come pick her up.

Anyway, that is what's up with us. I'm thinking Monday will be the day.
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