Do guys really care about a girls sexual history?

[P-Man]

OK, sorry if I caused a little stir there. Among the guys I know, that's definitely the preference though. That's not to say that none of us will date a woman with a past. Just to say that given a choice (and all other factors being equal) the guys that I know would rather date a woman who hasn't been promiscuous. I also don't think that it's a stretch to say that most men would prefer a less promiscuous women.

I'm not saying that it's a deal breaker. Would I trade in a promiscuous girl that treats me like gold for a virgin that treats me like crap? Hell no. First, I don't want a virgin, secondly, that's just not a good trade. All I'm saying is that given a choice, most guys I know (there's your disclaimer) prefer to seriously date girls who have been selective. Sorry if I've offended everyone. NOt my intention.

[lookout123]

this whole discussion supports my belief that it is ridiculous to even have that conversation. who cares who has been with how many in their past? important questions are:

1) are you disease free?
2) are you sleeping with anyone else right now?
3) monogamy, yes or no?

[P-Man]

I agree, it can definitely be a touchy subject. The original poster asked "Do guys really care about a girls sexual history?" My feelings are, yes to a degree we do care. I wouldn't be thrilled about a girl who has slept with tons of guys and given the choice, would prefer to marry someone who has showed some more restraint. HOWEVER, honesty is WAY more important than ones past.

I would take a woman with 35 partners that could tell me honestly any day of the week over a woman with 6 partners who lies and tells me 3. Would I love the fact that the woman has been with 35? No, I (and many guys I'm sure) would prefer less of a sexual history. But honesty is one thing that I treasure.

I guess I'm of the school of thought where I don't want any subject to be off limits with the woman I marry. That doesn't mean that I need or want explicit details, just an honest answer. Trust is paramount.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I'm going with P-Man, in that most guys want to know if the woman they're with has had sex with anyone he'll be running into in his normal course of events.

Nobody wants to show a picture of his new sweetheart around at the sports bar and have them say, "Oh, we had her." or "I've got a video of her."

So if her former lovers remain faceless strangers it doesn't(shouldn't) matter.

In the same vein, I doubt many women want a guy that's screwed all her girlfriends.

[Ibby]

I've never dated a girl with any sexual history at all, to tell the truth, so... I guess I dont have any real input to give here at all.

[wolf]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

In the same vein, I doubt many women want a guy that's screwed all her girlfriends.

Only in pursuit of revenge against a girlfriend. It's in the rulebook, page 14, third paragraph, the one under the illustration.

[Angel]

I want to know all - if I'm told a bit

But I'de rather not know a thing - If i'm not told anything

[DucksNuts]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

In the same vein, I doubt many women want a guy that's screwed all her girlfriends.

I have a incestrous lil group. One of my best friend married my old boyfriend, my other friend has dated 2 of the guys I have been with.

Such things dont bother me so much.

[9th Engineer]

I haven't run into this at all (20yo, first year of eng. school no time for sex), but maybe I can offer a new angle. I see alot of girls who are taking the approach of "I'm in college and I've got a great body so I'm going to sleep around a bit. Later on I'll look for a guy I really want a relationship with. However, this leads to the following problem. The nice guys who treat women well and don't toss them out with the morning garbage do not take kindly to being told to wait on the sidelines till you've had your fun. Trust me, we don't take kindly to being passed over because she wanted to brag about banging the 1st string quarterback. People do not change radically in 4-5 years, and the best way to predict a persons future is to know their past.

[sully58]

That's not true engineer.....you're setting the "double standard" for those girls. Guys do that all the time, and what happens to the nice girls? They finish last as well. It flows both ways honey....and if you don't see that, well, there's something wrong with you! Guys in college always look for the first bang they can get, they take it even if she doesn't wanna give it. Nice girls finish just the same as nice guys. The girls that want to have the relationships are tricked by "nice guys". Guys that SAY they wanna settle down, but in all reality they just want one thing, even if that means they have to work at it or wait for it, they'll do whatever it takes to get it and when they do, they kick the girls to the curb.
And about people changing over time, it's possible, VERY possible. I've known several people, girls and guys, that were promiscuous in college, but have settled down after graduating and decided that they finally want a real relationship and be serious. Just because they decided to be free sexually early on doesn't mean that reflects what the future holds. In fact, if you ask me, it tells NOTHING about the future, maybe just that they know how to please!

[xoxoxoBruce]

I see a problem here that everyone, including myself, is painting views with broad brushes. People are individuals, all different, all unique.

Therefore the question that was first posed, really can't be answered.

[DucksNuts]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Therefore the question that was first posed, really can't be answered.

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

I see a problem here that everyone, including myself, is painting views with broad brushes. People are individuals, all different, all unique.

Therefore the question that was first posed, really can't be answered.

Exactly, Sully's description was insulting to everyone and not my experience at all. I married my college girlfriend while still in school, we dated for three years and are still married thirteen years later.

[P-Man]

"Guys in college always look for the first bang they can get, they take it even if she doesn't wanna give it." (kinda sounds like rape doesn't it?)

-From my experience, that's not really true. I will graduate this Sunday from The Ohio State University and after spending five years here (I had to stretch the typical four year program), I've learned a thing or two. Almost every guy I know is looking for love. Not just a quick bang. Not just a night of pleasure.

However, most of us are incapable of turning down easy sex. Only problem with easy sex is afterwards, it takes the girl out of the running for potential girlfriend material. Me and my friends know that if we got it easy, chances are that there's a lot of other guys that are getting it easy. And that's not attractive among my circle of friends.

This is an ongoing discussion between me and my guy friends. Where have all the good girls gone? Where are the women that make you wait for sex? The ones that make you earn their respect before they give up their body? Those are the ones we want to settle down with. Guys like a girl that challenges them. Me and my friends respect those girls more and when it comes down to it, those are the ones that we'll probably marry.

The issues of sexuality between men and women will always be unequal. Not because of any social, cultural or inheriting condition but because of biology.

Women CHOOSE!
Men wait to be chosen

It is this 180 degree difference that gives rise to the false impression of a double standard. It’s not a double standard but a fact of our biology.

Sex does not take place unless a criminal act occurred or the women choose to agree to sex. This reproductive power is a Darwinian evolutionary response. Women have culled the gene pool for millions of years through this sexual power of choice.

A women that sleeps around is consider a slut because of the low moral character that defines there use of there sexual advantage. This reckless use of power and contempt for it is a character issues that will arise through out there life in the form of critical decision making around many other of life’s challenges and is reflective of there values and beliefs. All of us are walking billboard displays of our values and beliefs.

Furthermore, there is the issue of bonding. A woman that has many sexual partners is unlikely to ever form deep physical or spiritual bonding with a man. The divorce rate is over 50% and its rise in our culture runs parallel to women’s so called “sexual revolution.” Statistics show that 80% of divorces are imitated by women.

Men do not deserve the reputation of “players.” A small, very small, minority does but the attitude that men do it so its ok if I do it is fatuous. Most men want a deep committed relationship so they can have a steady supply of sex. Ask most men if they would choose sparse and random sexual encounters or steady tail, they will choose the steady tail 9 X out of 10. Men are vastly less promiscuous as women and have been for eons.

The biggest secret women hold is there sexual history. If men knew the real number they would be shocked. For every 1 sexual partner a women admits to, multiply that by 5. Its that sexual power thing. Women have it and men don’t. A 30 year old American woman is likely to have had 30 to 50 sexual partners. An American woman at age 25 could have as high as 30.

Think of women’s sexuality like a bank. Women own the bank. They can write checks anytime they want as much as they want anywhere they want. Men are like borrowers that have to apply for a loan. Men have to show the bank they are worthy of the loan and deserve credit.

Any bank that gives away the store doesn’t appear to be a solvent concern and the decision process of the banker displays the banker’s character and moral center. Can the banker change? Sure. But like any thing else’s we value in life your history makes a difference. Your schools wants to know the history or your academic achievements, your employer your work record, the government your civil obedience. History matters.

Sorry girls, with great power goes greater responsibility.