yesterday...

[Aliantha]

I tried to electrocute myself. Seriously. This morning i woke up feeling like i had run a marathon. Every muscle and joint ached.

I am going to try not to do that again unless i mean it. At the time, it really didnt seem to hurt. It wasnt till the charge stopped that it hurt. Interesting really. Makes me think the electric chair, properly administered, might not be so inhumane after all. If you die right off i mean.

[Sundae]

I think if the State is going to sanction killings, they may as well make them entertaining.
The punishment should fit the crime, a la Se7en.

Drug dealers get stoned, arsonists get their arse handed to them on a platter and vandals get sent to Germany.

But seriously, what you do yesterday?

[xoxoxoBruce]

It didn't hurt at the time because it shorted the electrical signals to the brain.
It the words of a very wise person, " Don't do that".

[Aliantha]

Sundae, I touched something I shouldn't have. I was doing something to the spa heater and I guess I had a brain fart. Anyway, it gave me a bit of a kick. Felt a bit funny for the rest of the day and went to bed early and slept for 14 hours, then woke feeling like I'd been hit by a truck. Feeling better now, but think I'll get an early one again tonight.

Bruce, I don't plan on doing it again, but I suppose I've just been reflecting on it. I mentioned when I posted on facebook, that the first thing I thought of after I realised I was ok, was to think how it was lucky I wasn't dead, cause who the fuck would clean the house if I died?! That's not so great when you realise intrinsically that you feel like that's the main thing the people you love the most need you for. I have been doing a lot of thinking about that today.

So far, no bright lights. Just heaps of more depressing realisations.

Oh well, I guess I'll just keep ticking on...till i stop ticking.

[Molasar]

Originally Posted by Sundae

I think if the State is going to sanction killings, they may as well make them entertaining...

still amuses the shit out of me that when they shove in the needles for a lethal injection they swab the skin with an antiseptic wipe.
WHY THE FUCK???

like, the guy will be stone dead in a couple of minutes so why does he need protecting from an infection that can't possibly kick in until hours later when he's already been planted in a wooden overcoat.

FFS get a grip!

[Molasar]

on a serious note, the body has a number of reflex reactions to stimuli like germs, injury, temperature, predators, poisoning and so all of which are in the DNA from millions of years of evolution, those that didn't survive those hazards died off leaving us here now.
(bible-bashers and creationists can fuck off for a minute, this is serious)

your lassitude is a default bodily reaction to a stimulus (in this case electrocution) that we don't have a DNA-coded mechanism explicitly coded in.
give it a million more years (and all of us fucking up by playing with live high-voltage wires and then procreating) and we'll all be grounding 500kV lines with impunity.
well not us obviously, our great-great-.................-great-great grandkids!

Aliantha just sleep it off for a day or two (more if that's what it takes) until your body recovers from its shock and it'll be cool.

[Sundae]

Ali has five boys and a baby girl to look after.
Not to mention pets.

I think the sleep she's just managed is about all she's going to get.

[lumberjim]

This thread isn't about the shock. It's about the shock of realizing that she feels that her main worth to her family is what she does in her role as a mother / care provider...

I didn't feel like I could address this on book face.... But in here, it's better.

Was this topic on the table when you and Dazza had your come to Jesus talk a few weeks ago?

You've got a wee bairn that needs you 95% of her waking hours, and iirc, 3 adult - ish males that rely on you to cook clean and clothe them?

Seems like anyone would be feeling the same way you do. There is probably better advice available than what I can offer, but I'd maybe try a few little things, and see how you feel.
Have a family meeting, express your concern calmly, and Institute some changes.

1: set aside an hour or two a day for some alone time for yourself. During the baby's nap if it must be...
2: Give the boys instructions on how to do their own laundry for starts, and schedule the time they are to do it. Maybe work them into a turn based rotation for doing the whole household's laundry
3: Make each male plan and prepare dinner once a week. You'll be needed as a coach in the beginning, I guess...


Maybe in your new free time you could learn something that could then be taught to the boys.... Or you could do some home improvement... Enlist their help, bond, etc. Create your own value. Nothing says you have to wait on them.

Oh, and get some sexy underwear, and have morning sex and stuff.

[Clodfobble]

Jim's advice is good, Ali. I'm not foolish enough to think that if you stop cleaning, your boys will magically take up the slack out of guilt... but if you have a family meeting, explain that there need to be some changes, and enlist Dazza in the oversight of the teens' new chores, I think you could really ease your load a lot. You are worth more to your family, just as they are worth more to you, but right now you are too overwhelmed to see it.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Sundae

Ali has five boys and a baby girl to look after.
Not to mention pets.

I think the sleep she's just managed is about all she's going to get.

Au Contraire!

[footfootfoot]

It might make the teens making dinner an easier proposition if on those nights they could make something easy and their favorite, Fish sticks and tater tots, or sandwiches or burgers or some such. I'm sure you know your kids well enough to know how to package this as more funner for them.

Also remember to shut off the power to the unit before you attempt to service it again.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Bruce, I don't plan on doing it again, but I suppose I've just been reflecting on it. I mentioned when I posted on facebook, that the first thing I thought of after I realised I was ok, was to think how it was lucky I wasn't dead, cause who the fuck would clean the house if I died?!

The first thing you thought of, not someone else expressed. Your opinion based on how you perceive the rest of the family feels about you.

Just because they only seek you out when they need food, clean clothes, or something they've lost, doesn't mean they don't love you. Remember the male animal isn't very good at expressing... f... fe... feelin... feelings. Without you, they may all break down and have to be institutionalized.

That's not so great when you realise intrinsically that you feel like that's the main thing the people you love the most need you for. I have been doing a lot of thinking about that today.

Keep thinking about, this all stems from your perception of the situation, and you may be wrong. Don't be like my last wife, who made life decisions based on things that happened in a dream.

[orthodoc]

Ali, the people who love you most need you to be there, not to clean the house.They may have fallen into patterns of passive behavior where it's convenient for them if you do everything, but that can change.

I second Jim's and foot's suggestions (or third them). Get those teenage/adult males doing their own laundry, and delegate the smaller children's/baby's laundry as well. Everyone ten and over gets himself up in the morning. Meals - have each one make supper once a week, absolutely. Start with their favorites, compliment them, encourage them to try something that requires a little cooking, and give advice when asked. Cleaning - same sort of thing. By the time a teen finishes high school, he/she will be able to live as an adult.

Once everyone is on the new page (family meeting, as Jim mentioned), use that time for yourself. Do something you've wanted to do but haven't had time for. Explore something, learn a new skill, meet some new people.

And turn off the power to the spa before you service it again.

[Aliantha]

I was adjusting the pressure switch on the spa. It has to be on to do so. It's a really stupid design that it needs to be the case, and that you are exposed to a 'live' mechanism. I don't know how a setup like that could pass a standards test, but apparently it did. In my opinion, the only part that should be exposed is the screw you need to turn after you press the reset button, but it's not. The whole inner workings are exposed when you take the top off to get to that bit, and you can't reset the pressure with it off. It simply doesn't do it. At least I was sensible enough to wear shoes I guess.

About the kids. The do their own washing, and some of the rest if asked. They do help out much more than any other kids their ages that I know. They will always babysit if I need them to. Admittedly, they're not big on cooking, but they will do it if I ask. I usually enjoy doing it though, so that's not a problem.

I think it's that when I was pregnant with Eva, I was so sick, only the bare essentials of cleaning were done. A lot of the maintenance type jobs were left, so really, there is a lot to do around here. Obviously the first year for the baby is pretty high maintenance too, so I didn't really do all the catching up I needed to then either. We're almost there now. I more or less started at the front of the house and worked to the back (hence the stuff with the spa area), but we still have a long way to go on the gardens and yard and I think that's what was bothering me.

It's not that they wont help. It's just that they wouldn't think of it themselves, and my husband definitely wouldn't. It's not their priority. They have their own things to do and are moving towards being independent of us anyway. Daryl is always at work, and although he's making a lot more effort to be a part of the family lately, he's still not good at housework in any form, and he has less idea and inclination with the yard. Our yard has vines and hedging on every fence. While I have been inattentive, it's gone crazy. The boys and I will be sorting that out starting on Monday. Mav and I might do a bit this arvy if we can. Nothing like getting out with a machete and hedge trimmer when thinking about gardening on Australia Day!

I will be fine. I'm just reflecting on life a lot recently. Thinking about needs, wants and desires, and what's being met and what isn't, and what I'm doing right or wrong to influence those situations. It's a life in progress. I just had a bit of a wake up call I suppose.

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Oh well, I guess I'll just keep ticking on...till i stop ticking.

Tick, baby, TICK!!!

I once static-shocked a PS2, to death. I was putting a game in and when I touched the point of the spindle in the cd cradle, a blue spark an inch long leapt out and bit the shit outta me. Buddy laughed at my hollering and complaining til he cried. It hurt like a sumbitch.

That's ok, it was his PS2.

I bought him another.