How stubborn we can be

[staceyv]

My husband and I agreed to split the apartment down the middle for cleaning. I get the kitchen and bedroom, he gets the bathroom and living room. I told him I'll do my half when he does his half. Every once in a while, he'll say "we really have to do something about this apartment" and I'll say "no problem, honey. As soon as you get your two rooms done, I'll have mine done by the next day".
These two pictures are his half of the apartment.

[staceyv]

and my half:
WHEN will this end? It's starting to get really dirty in here!

[breakingnews]

Ew. Grody.

I can't stand untidiness. Something I picked up from my mother. She never made me do much cleaning beyond my own bedroom, but I'll be damned if when I started living in a dorm I nearly went insane trying to keep the place clean.

Admittedly, I'll let the mess rot for a while, but never more than 3-4 days. Then in a midnight fit of OCD, I'll clean everything twice over.

Good luck, stacey.

[Perry Winkle]

Time to get childish.

I'd recommend shaving off his eyebrows while he's asleep, laxative in his coffee or something similarly irritating.

[wolf]

What's written on the toilet? I can only make out "I just ..."

[glatt]

You have an interesting marriage.

[staceyv]

Arsen wrote "I just did" on the toilet seat a while back, because I wrote under the lid :"Put the fucking seat down".

[Clodfobble]

So do you guys rent, or own?

[staceyv]

this is a rented apartment. It really sucks- even when we clean it- but it's cheap for Newport. We only pay $525 mo plus all utilities, and you can't find anything in the paper for less that $900 a month. (And it's in a great location).
I really want a house within the next five years, and I'll do a good job of cleaning it We have an agreement that when I don't have to work anymore, I'll do ALL the housework, so there is hope.
I hate to live in filth like this, and I do keep the sink and kitchen counters clean, as well as the bed stuff, but I refuse to do the rest for him. God, I already take the dog out twice a day even though he promised me he would be in charge of that. That can't be avoided, but the apartment- well, I CAN be stubborn about that!

[busterb]

Think you should have got a dog.

[Clodfobble]

I, uh, wouldn't count on getting your deposit back.

[monicakat]

I've been living with my boyfriend for about a year now and I still don't know how to get him to help out with the cleaning. We both have jobs (although mine is full-time and his is only part-time), but somehow I wind up doing all the cleaning. I've tried talking to him rationally: "I don't see any reason why I should be doing extra work when we could split the cleaning and both be happier." I've tried making him feel bad for it: "It hurts that you would sit there and watch me clean the kitchen when I've just gotten home from a job I hate and you were off all day." And of course, I've tried screaming at him to just do it. Nothing works. He always seems to "forget" or "get sidetracked" or some such bullshit... I really don't know what to do. I HATE to clean, but do it anyway because a dirty apartment just makes me depressed. So Stacy, I wish you luck and beg you to PLEASE let me know if you ever find a way to get him to do his share (I promise to reciprocate )

[Clodfobble]

The fundamental problem in these types of situations is that one partner doesn't see the NEED to clean, so they're never going to do it on their own. Personally, I have to do all the cleaning in my house too, but A.) I like doing it, because I'm neurotic like that, and B.) my husband cooks and mows the lawn, which is more than enough of a tradeoff for me.

If you really hate to clean so much, but can't live in a dirty home like your significant others clearly can, why not hire a maid to come once a month? They're not just for the rich, you know. You can find $50 a month somewhere in your budget if you really try. Cook on two nights that you would normally have eaten out, lower your cellphone plan, whatever. It's well worth it (at least my friends who use an occasional maid tell me it is.)

[zippyt]

Stacey , might i suggest you introduce Arsen to the tradition of SPRING Cleaning , otherwise know as a good old fasion Marine Field Day .
Get up early , make a big breakfast with LOTS of coffie , drag his ass out of bed .
Scrape all the shit and furniture to one side in one room , open the windows to air out the place , scrub and clean the walls, floor, celing ,windows etc,,,,,
NOTHING goes back on the clean side untill it is cleaned , I meen EVERY thing , under chairs and tables , drag the rugs out side for a good beating and airing out( good job for Aresn ) , pictures go back on the wall ONLY when they have been cleaned and dusted .
Start in one room and carry on thru the whole house .
He WILL bitch and moan , but MAKE him help .
TV off , stereo on blast with some good tunes that will MAKE you move .
Start and don't stop untill you have made at least a LARGE dent in it .
That nite , shower , steaks , taters and good beer ( or wine ) for dinner , sex and sleep at a reasonable hour .
The next day , rinse and repete untill you live in a clean enviroment !!!!!!!

Just my

[staceyv]

God zippy, that made me tired just reading it!!
It's a nice idea, but it'll never happen. If I tried to make him get out of bed and clean, he would say "no" and roll over and fall back asleep. If I ripped the covers away, jumped on the bed, etc, he would get very offended. Then we'd probably end up in an argument. I can't force him to do anything and I can't sweet talk him into it,either.
The last time we cleaned the apartment together, it took him THREE days to do his half. he did the tub on day 1, the rest of the bathroom on day 2 and vaccumed the living room on day 3. If we were to do all that you suggested, he would need to take off 10 days from work.

We can't afford a maid. We NEVER go out to eat, neither one of us has a cell phone, I bought his work clothes at the thrift store. Our car insurance is going up and we are desperately trying to pay off the credit card...

Monicakat, I like your idea! I will let you know if I ever find a way. The last time we cleaned, I had to let the apartment go for SIX months before he broke down and did his half. it has been 4 months since we cleaned. Maybe the time periods will keep getting shorter until he gives up and cleans his half regularly? Who knows.
But his attitude is a lot like your boyfrien'd. It's very frustrating.
Oh god, and my mom and her fiance just stopped by a few minutes ago, I was MORTIFIED!