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Old 06-15-2018, 02:32 PM   #1561
Gravdigr
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Location: South Central...KY that is
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You might have put your eye out.[/ChristmasStory]
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Old 06-16-2018, 09:32 AM   #1562
Happy Monkey
I think this line's mostly filler.
 
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I got shot in the eye with a BB at a Scout camp. Luckily, only a ricochet.
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Old 06-22-2018, 07:37 AM   #1563
Griff
still says videotape
 
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My buddies older brother used to shoot at us. Fortunately, I was the skinny one and he was the fat one.
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Old 06-22-2018, 11:28 AM   #1564
Clodfobble
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Mr. Clod got a resume from a guy with an annoying double name--think John Johnson or Peter Petersburg. But to make things worse, he learned at the interview that the guy's first name is pronounced differently than the last name. Like "Puh-teer" Petersburg, or "Yoan" Johnson.

It was a good interview, and they're probably going to hire him, so it's pretty much a given that Mr. Clod will forever be screwing up this guy's name. I feel bad for him, but then again he's probably used to it.
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Old 06-22-2018, 11:38 AM   #1565
glatt
 
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Isn't it annoying that you can't use real names because they will likely find it in a vanity search?

Except for Edwin Tapia. I want that guy to come forward. We've been getting his magazines at our house for years.
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Old 06-22-2018, 02:06 PM   #1566
Gravdigr
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I send my buddy free catalogs. I have free catalogs sent to my buddy. Been doing it for years.

I always use some really fucked up variation on his actual name.
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Old 06-22-2018, 03:31 PM   #1567
Griff
still says videotape
 
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Posts: 23,430
I like to send bullshit Christmas cards to people. I saw one hanging in a buddies house once, I had to out myself it was too funny not to reveal.
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Old 06-24-2018, 01:28 PM   #1568
sexobon
^it sings^
 
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This place has a namesake perfume (sort of). Read the scent description.

https://www.ebay.com/itm/BPALs-The-C...AAAOSwzC9bLx5T
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Old 06-24-2018, 03:05 PM   #1569
Gravdigr
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Not just blood, "old" blood.
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Old 09-09-2018, 11:00 PM   #1570
sexobon
^it sings^
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
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Alexa, Amazon's artificial intelligence can be intriguing. Alexa links to music and news sources, answers questions; also, entertains by singing, telling stories and jokes. Besides replying to questions that have fact based answers, Alexa has opinions. She'll (character female) even form one if the topic interests her. When I asked what her favorite movie derived from a book was, she said she didn't know that. A few days later, after another verbal exchange, she reminded me that I'd asked the question and said that it would be Breakfast at Tiffany's.

It seems that the more open ended the requests are, the more "personality" driven the responses are and some are quite funny:

sexobon: "Tell me your thoughts."

Alexa: "If I was in an old Hollywood western, Id sit on the bar in the saloon and sing songs and tell jokes and stories. When strangers walked in, Id say, Howdy! And they'd look around and say, "What the heck is that contraption?"

I was amused.
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Old 09-10-2018, 07:27 AM   #1571
Griff
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Steelers played a horrific game in the rain in Cleveland, tons of penalties and 5(?) turnovers and yet Cleveland doesn't end their winless streak. I guess both teams are cellar dwellars.
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Old 11-19-2018, 02:56 PM   #1572
Gravdigr
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Gabrielle Union Explains How to Pronounce Daughter’s Name...

...and I quote:

Quote:
Explaining the thought process behind her daughter’s moniker, Union shared that “James” is a family name.

“We wanted to include my family in her name so that ‘James’ is from my uncle James Francis Glass who is also my grandfather,” she wrote, adding that “Union is her middle name.”
I didn't know she was from Kentucky.

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Old 11-20-2018, 07:53 PM   #1573
Diaphone Jim
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 836
This joke

A missionary was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his mission in the jungle, where he has spent years teaching the natives, when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them, was how to speak English. So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest.

He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The missionary is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock.

Hearing this, the chief repeats, "Rock."

The missionary is elated with the results. They walk a bit further and hear rustling in the bushes. They peek over the top and see a couple of natives in the midst of heated sexual activity. The missionary is embarrassed, and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both.

The missionary is flabergasted. Hes spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other. How could you kill these people in cold blood that way?!

The chief replied, "My bike"
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Old 11-25-2018, 04:55 PM   #1574
Gravdigr
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Funneh.

Mildly amusing me is the fact that Momdigr knows basically nothing about the song Alice's Restaurant.
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Old 11-26-2018, 03:38 PM   #1575
Glinda
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravdigr View Post
Funneh.

Mildly amusing me is the fact that Momdigr knows basically nothing about the song Alice's Restaurant.
Heh.

And I started jumpin' up and down, yellin' "KILL! KILL!"

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