What's bumming your stone today?

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by elSicomoro

I read a book not long ago...called Finding Kansas...

I watched a movie called "Rolling Kansas"...

[/notmuchhelp]

[monster]

So is it Aspergers or Autism?


And many if not most 11-year old boys do do shit like that. They eventually grow out of it. (When they have kids of their own ) It's not unreasonable for the grandparents to want to believe it's something he'll grow out of. It was around round 13/14 with my elder son, younger one is showing signs of improvement at age 12 but we have a way to go.


And who doesn't behave for grandparents to get what they want? Aspy and Autistic kids for a start.

Did you explain to him exactly why he can't ride his bike? What were the ground rules you laid down about that? Did he willfully ignore them or could they have been open to a different interpretation than the one you were intending?

[elSicomoro]

DSM-5 killed off the term "Asperger's"...he is diagnosed as having mild autism, but it is what used to be called Asperger's.

We try to be very clear in his rules. They are posted on a bulletin board in our living room, and when new rules are introduced, we explain them very clearly and give him some leeway in enforcing them initially. He tries to regularly poke holes in the rules though. I personally have difficulty distinguishing whether his autism is in play or if he is just being defiant (which we've seen more of recently) or if he's just being an 11-year old at times.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by elSicomoro

DSM-5 killed off the term "Asperger's"...he is diagnosed as having mild autism, but it is what used to be called Asperger's.

I'm impressed that you (and/or your doctor) know this. You'd be stunned how many medical professionals don't.

The thing about being on the spectrum, it's never outright defiance. They do what they want because they don't care about the rules, but they never do it just to piss you off because they don't care if you're pissed off. However, ADHD kids often use deliberate defiance, because the emotional drama it causes is a literal stimulant to their brain, it's a subconscious way of keeping up enough energy to function. Personally I view them as two different subtypes that almost never overlap, but often they are hard to distinguish and kids are given both diagnoses.

Originally Posted by monster

And who doesn't behave for grandparents to get what they want? Aspy and Autistic kids for a start.

This. Again, a kid on the spectrum is not going to have the instinct to manipulate to this level. They will certainly try to get away with more if allowed to, but they are not going to be better behaved for the purposes of manipulation--unless your in-laws happen to be skilled at subtle behavioral therapy techniques, which I'm betting they're not.

Obviously I don't know your kid. But everything you're saying says you should be approaching this from an ADHD (or maybe bipolar like you mentioned, I don't know as much about that) treatment perspective, not an autism perspective. And I'm sorry to say it, but it sounds like he does need more supervision, regardless of why he needs it. Have you ever heard of the "Love & Logic" series?

[elSicomoro]

I might have been misunderstood before...I don't think he is manipulating my in-laws or vice versa. They do seem to have fewer issues with him, but they also indulge him. I don't know how you guys were as kids, but I always tended to behave better around my grandparents.

He has a really good counselor, and she was the one that told us about the change in diagnosis. She has two ADHD kids of her own that are now adults. We have been trying to adjust his medications to get the maximum benefit without making him a zombie. He has been on the current ones 2 or 3 months now, and we're thinking he may need a change.

I've heard of Love & Logic...I'll have to look into it more.

I appreciate the input ladies! I needed another perspective(s).

[Gravdigr]

Stevie Ray Vaughan died 24 years ago today.

[BigV]

RIP.

[infinite monkey]

My initial estimate on my car repairs is 1200 bucks. They still have to pull the transmission out to find where the oil is coming from. The headlights are stupid: both sides behaved the same way (no DRLs at all, very dim low beams which were useless at night, high beams were fine) yet they said a bulb replacement was needed on one side and the other side has no voltage...so there's more investigation (i.e. labor) to figure that out.

It could hover around 1500, or shoot to...oh I don't know, 3 grand. When I told my friend who said it'd probably be a couple hundred bucks and I replied 'not with my luck, with my luck it'll be a couple grand' I wasn't fucking kidding.

Could one thing go right? One? Can't have a job until my transportation is fixed.

I keep going forward and keep going forward, against all odds, and something in the universe wants to just keep kicking me back down.

Oh well. It'll all work out. It always does. Eventually. For a while.

[glatt]

Shit. I'm sorry. Cars suck.

[Lala]

I'm bummed that I can't make a thread.

[infinite monkey]

Poor thing.

[Gravdigr]

snicker

[manicotti]

I'm bummed that I can't start a thread.

[DanaC]

Hmmm

[Sundae]

Infi that's awful!
It's the reason I gave up driving. Well, car-ownership at least, I still have a licence.
It's not just the initial cost, or even the day to day, it's the expense when things go wrong.

Same with pets, but a car doesn't come and bite your chin at 02.30 to get some more cat milk... Oh, wait...

Seriously, sorry for your woes darling.