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Old 06-02-2005, 07:43 PM   #76
lumberjim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sycamore
I wanna thank all you parents for reinforcing my decision to be childfree.
my kids would like to thank you for that decision.
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Old 06-02-2005, 08:10 PM   #77
LCanal
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Firstly if you work until 9.30pm selling the likes of Rock a truck you are allowed to go home ever now and again for a nooner.

As to the 4-year old.
Sunday School looks like a good idea, either that or Vaseline on the doorknob.
Children. Nature’s punishment for having sex?
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Old 06-02-2005, 08:17 PM   #78
LCanal
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A woman friend of mine confided one day that her favourites was to tie her lover down with toilet paper and they proceed to ravish him with all the toys and techniques she could muster.

Toilet paper? I imagine some of you thinking whaaat. That's so dumb. Toilet paper will break at the slightest movement.


Who's catching on here?

















She claimed she told her lovers that she would stop what she was doing if the paper broke. Apparently the experience was good enough to assure long term "relationships"
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Old 06-02-2005, 09:21 PM   #79
elSicomoro
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lumberjim
my kids would like to thank you for that decision.
And hopefully, your kids will be better humans than you are.
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Old 06-02-2005, 10:12 PM   #80
perth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LCanal
...tie her lover down with toilet paper
That is a great idea and it is my new life's goal to make sure that somehow, some way, my girlfriend finds her way here and reads that.
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Old 06-03-2005, 09:02 AM   #81
LabRat
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We are in the same boat as Glatt. Evenings are pretty much out, but when we can, 2-3X a month, it's worth the wait. I didn't want RugRat to be the couch potato type, so we don't have a TV in the kitchen or livingroom. Our VCR/DVD player is in the finished basement. Because getting to watch a video is a special treat, and for a 2.5 yr old she has an especially long attention span, we use a video when we need some alone time and it's not naptime. We easily get 30 min, sometimes over an hour before we hear her heading up the stairs. Lately we've been getting the last morning sex we can in before she moves to a 'big girl bed' and can pop in on us anytime she likes. Nothing like a good shag to set your day up right. Probably going to have to start drinking instead...
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Old 06-03-2005, 11:51 AM   #82
plthijinx
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i remember back when i was married and little pilot came home for adoption. it wasn't easy. oh wait, my ex's toybox was broken so we only had sex maybe 4 times a year if i was lucky. boy. am i glad i'm divorced now, from her at least, and no, sex wasn't why we got divorced, ok well part of it but not the major part and that's for another time. we be talkin' 'bout sex here! my g/f and i though do click mentally and physically, albeit that rare problem that happens every now and again as mentioned earlier but can be fun!
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Old 06-03-2005, 12:19 PM   #83
Trilby
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*cough* what about BJ techniques? Hello???
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Old 06-03-2005, 12:28 PM   #84
elSicomoro
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Quote:
Originally Posted by perth
That is a great idea and it is my new life's goal to make sure that somehow, some way, my girlfriend finds her way here and reads that.
Browse this thread as she happens to look over your shoulder.
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Old 06-03-2005, 01:04 PM   #85
plthijinx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brianna
*cough* what about BJ techniques? Hello???
yeah, that's what i suggested. she TOTALLY wasn't into that. and i suggest that she learn or find someone whose a unich (sp?) even before all of her surgeries (9 for endometriosis) she wouldn't do that when we had a "healthy" sex relationship. oh well. and it wasn't that healthy at all. yeah, i married her for other reasons and sex wasn't a big deal but it did make our intimate (holding/cuddling) drift apart to nothing. but now, look out!! i've only turned the g/f down once in the 4 or so months we've been dating because i was flat out exhausted.
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Old 06-03-2005, 01:21 PM   #86
vsp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LCanal
She claimed she told her lovers that she would stop what she was doing if the paper broke.
That is delightfully diabolical and has been added to my "To Do" list.
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Old 06-03-2005, 02:54 PM   #87
lumberjim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brianna
*cough* what about BJ techniques? Hello???
i told you. like a motorcycle throttle. i'm a certified bj instructor. very affordable too. the thing is to start lighlty and slowly; nibbling is ok. but when you really want to be done with it already, get all four fingers wrapped around it, and twist and squeeze as you go up and down. get the right rythm, and make the right noises as though you're actually enjoying it, and you'll soon be done. bonus points if you take a facial or chest shot with the results of your effort.


too graphic? should i find you a good video clip?
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Old 06-03-2005, 02:57 PM   #88
hot_pastrami
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lumberjim
i told you. like a motorcycle throttle.
Just as long as it's not "indian burn" style. Ouch.
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Old 06-03-2005, 02:58 PM   #89
lumberjim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hot_pastrami
Just as long as it's not "indian burn" style. Ouch.
she'd have to be pretty thirsty for that to happen. one should apply more liquor in that event.
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Old 06-03-2005, 03:37 PM   #90
Brett's Honey
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No sex after kids??

Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous
what - just because you are a mother now you can't have sex on the hood of a car anymore?
I was probably in my early twenties when I realized that the reason my older brother and I learned to drive so young (we lived out in the country) was to give the folks some "alone time". I remember them telling us we could go drive "around the mile section (insert number here) times and to be sure to take turns!" And of course we NEVER said no!!
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