Hall of Fame

[xoxoxoBruce]

A boy named Sue?

[BigV]

From here.

Originally Posted by bigw00dy

Failure

go to google
type in failure
hit "im feeling lucky"
__________________
I bring nothing to the table

Just do it.

[BigV]

This post is succinct and articulate, not to mention an exemplary model of restraint, from here.

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey

No, "theory" is the scientific term for "strongly supported by evidence". There is no word that suggests more certainty than "theory". (If you're curious, the scientific term "law" refers to a theory that can be expressed mathematically. The concept behind the mathematical expression is still "only" a theory.)

Right. The scientific one should be taught in science class, and the theological one(s) should be taught in religious institutions, or comparative religion classes, since there are so many of them.

[BigV]

From here.

Originally Posted by Kitsune

Music Industry - Everyone is a potential Criminal
To all of you that agued that DMCA wouldn't result in anything harmful coming out of the entertainment industry, well, it is now well known that newer Sony BMG audio CDs drop a little present on your Windows box. The importance of this? It is already being exploited, is being used by other spyware to further compromise your system, and is even disrupting World of Warcraft.

Besides, the moment you drop the money down on the counter for the CD, you're agreeing to some really bizarre legal agreement.

Shit, Sony, why you gotta be so nasty?

Kitsune's post is very normal, but it points to some scary links about what Sony/BMG music is doing to your computer. (Please check out the original post to see the links to the scary stuff) Oh, the EULA is comically scary. It takes to a whole new level the truth of the proverb: The big print giveth and the small print taketh away. Yeesh!

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Beestie

Note to Wolf: secure the laptop before going on smoke break.

From here, but seriously you have to read the whole thread (all three posts... )

[wolf]

Seconded. Nicely done.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Elsopde

Of course, I *am* kidding. My point is that, if we're going to start suing each other, let's make sure everyone gets to play.

Fair is fair. If we're going to have government santioned Christianity, then we're gonna need to have some Evolution taught in churches. Otherwise, let's keep them separate. I'm not going to pretend that it isn't going to be painful from time to time to do so, but if we include one religion (yes, I know, Christianity is the only *right* one, but humor me) in our governmental processes, we're going to disenfranchise *all* the others, or at the very least, make them into second class religions in the eyes of the State.

Either all religions are equal and we are a Republic, or one religion is officially better, and we are a Theocracy.

I know which one I want to live in.

Elspode rightly points out the core of the disagreement regarding the establishment clause in this post. Well put Elspode.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by wolf

These are real. I have one in my safe right now.

Wow.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by busterb

1st ya have to boil the shit out of them.

busterb, this is sick-funny. What's it called when you laugh and throw up at the same time? Nevermind--I won't need to remember if I just stay away from this joke. Hahahaahahaha, uh-oh. Gotta go.

[wolf]

Originally Posted by glatt

I like UT's. It's cool.

Doesn't remind me of goatse at all. I don't know why the rest of you keep mentioning it.

From here

[Undertoad]

here

Originally Posted by wolf

Today, I signed a commitment warrant for a woman who wrote that her son had "tryed to cute my throuathe."

I finally figured it out, and her son really was crazy, but the whole idea of her being barely able to express herself in written English was more frightening than her son's behavior.

Originally Posted by richlevy

Well, another explanation would be that the woman was 300 years old. In the 1700's there were almost no dictionaries and words legitimately had different spellings.

Originally Posted by wolf

I honestly don't think this lady was having a purfuit of happineff moment.

[glatt]

here

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But…….

Now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter ….with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

And talk of about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked!
Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!
And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! ... Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up .. we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire. imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot. That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.
You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980.

[BigV]

Good one glatt! You beat me to it!

xoxoxoBruce, this one's for you!

[wolf]

Originally Posted by barefoot serpent

... or she'll just have her foot put down...


oops, I mean put her foot down.

from here

[wolf]

Hall of fame nominations ...

From Celebrity Death that Bummed You Out the Most, post #179

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey

Don, Darren, and Dennis... Dead. Damn.

And

From IOTD 2/27/2006 - Wheat Mountain, post #6

Originally Posted by Elspode

This is a Monday IOTD - and grainy days and Mondays always get me down.

Bravo, gentlemen, bravo!!