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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 07-29-2013, 03:50 PM   #1
chrisinhouston
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A new grandchild on the way but not from the child I expected

Wow, just got word that we are to have grandchild #14 in about 6 months. This one is from my offspring as opposed to my wife's kids but it came as quite a surprise as it won't be from my older 2 sons who are married but from my daughter (child #4) who isn't married but has been in a relationship with the father for 4 or 5 years.

I am excited for them and always grateful for another member of the family, they were planing on getting married in a year or so anyway. The fact they are not married isn't a big deal to me as the baby came from love and they will figure it all out and how to adapt their lives. My daughter works in a high end restaurant in SF and is also studying for her Master Sommelier exam, guess she will put it on hold for awhile or at least the tasting part. The dad was married once and has 2 kids which he and my daughter care for based on visitation, he is a good dad and I think she will be good mother.

About the only thing I worry about is his legal status as he is the product of an overstayed visa, he is a Mexican national. He has a fairly good paying job also in the food service industry but I wonder what his future will look like and if he can find a way to be legal given the current anti-illegal immigrant sentiment here now. I try not to judge others, I have my own colorful past and I've made a few mistakes over the years and at age 27 my daughter has been out on her own for almost 9 years and is an adult. Every soul has their own journey to make so I am happy for them. And after all as the saying goes, omnia vincit amor.
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Old 07-29-2013, 05:10 PM   #2
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It sounds to me that you have a well-balanced set of concerns.
Immigration seems a bigger problem to me than the other situations you mention.

P.S. Even tho it will be #14, take lots of pics
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Old 07-29-2013, 05:31 PM   #3
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Congratulations! That's good news.
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Old 07-29-2013, 05:41 PM   #4
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If they are planning to get married, immigration status shouldn't be a problem. I guess they might have to do it on a faster schedule than they'd planned, should a problem arise, but they can always have a quick ceremony in front of a judge and then hold their real wedding when they had originally planned to.

Sounds like a genuinely happy accident--best of luck to the new parents and seasoned grandparents!
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Old 07-30-2013, 12:28 PM   #5
chrisinhouston
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Some time ago my daughter explained to me that he was here with his first wife on a college study visa. His wife got pregnant and things got too hard to manage so he quit school to work to support his family. The visa expired and he continued to work, it isn't that hard especially in California.

He is a nice enough guy and I am open minded unlike my daughters mother who disliked him because he was previously married and from Mexico and because she envisioned something better in her mind for her daughter. He works hard and makes decent money and like most beginning relationships they broke up once or twice only to get back together. He is quite handsome, hails from Mexico City and has more of a Spanish look. Like my daughter he is also studying to be a sommelier. He has 2 kids who are like 8 and 12 and he takes good care of them when he has his visitation as they and the mother live in SF not far away. And because of the relationship my daughter cooks fantastic real Mexican foods like those mole sauces made from scratch and is pretty fluent now in Spanish.

From what I have researched on the web while he did wrong by overstaying his visa that is not as bad as illegal entry, he was screened and deemed ok to attend school here. The negatives are he overstayed, found employment and I believe has a SS# that allows him to have taxes removed from his pay, etc. Those are strikes against him but not ones that will necessarily prevent him from fixing his status. I read somewhere where if they marry he would need to get an attorney, fill out several forms and pay something like $1000=$1500 to get legal to be here status back. The big problem is if he was to get stopped for anything by police, he would be on a bus back to Mexico. On the other hand, he and my daughter don't drive much because they don't own a car, living in SF they mostly use public modes or taxis or walk. I think she rents a car or uses the ZIP car program when they need a vehicle.

And I asked my daughter if what she would do if he was deported and she replied she guessed she would relocate to Mexico. While I hate see that it is not much different than any of my kids who all live elsewhere and I'd have no problem with going to Mexico to visit them.
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Old 07-30-2013, 11:25 PM   #6
xoxoxoBruce
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Did he get a divorce here or in Mexico?
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Old 07-31-2013, 07:33 AM   #7
chrisinhouston
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No, he got it in California, he hasn't gone back to Mexico since his visa expired because of the difficulty of returning north.
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Old 08-01-2013, 10:25 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lamplighter View Post
snip--

P.S. Even tho it will be #14, take lots of pics
you do know who you're addressing, right?

this is chris. chris, in *houston*?!
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Old 08-01-2013, 10:27 AM   #9
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O happy day Chris! I wish them the very best, and good luck on the coming immigration ordeal (what a messed up system we have...).


ps dont forget to take some pictures. heheheh
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