The decline of my father in law - Page 3

glatt · 12-14-2013, 07:35 AM

FIL is still making progress in the rehab place, and they are talking about moving him back home to his apartment in the assisted living place. Could be in a couple days or maybe a week or two. So that's fantastic. He's mentally in a great place and with his back brace on, he's able to do much of what he used to.

But anyway, the bills are rolling in now, and I have to say that Medicare is teh awesome! He spent several weeks in the hospital, some of it in intensive care, and the bills that are coming in are only like $34 here, $15 there, and so on.

It's no wonder that Medicare is costing the US taxpayers so much money and the Tea Baggers want to slash and burn it. Based on my FIL's experience, it's a huge financial benefit to the people who use it.

I hope it's there for me when I'm a feeble old man with a broken back.

orthodoc · 12-14-2013, 11:52 PM

It should be there for all of us when we become feeble with whatever misery fastens itself upon us. We may hope to die suddenly while in otherwise good health, but we don't always have that choice.

I suspect that a cultural sea-change will be needed if the country is to cope with the approaching demise of the Boomer generation.

glatt · 12-30-2013, 12:53 PM

He's back home in his apartment at the assisted living place. It's amazing how much he has improved since the low point where I thought he was a goner. He'll still need a big back brace, and needs someone to put it on him before he can get out of bed, but he's pretty much back to his level of self sufficiency once it's on. It's hard to believe it's only been two months since he was first hospitalized. Feels like much longer than that.

monster · 12-30-2013, 09:14 PM

That's excellent news.

glatt · 06-04-2014, 03:39 PM

Well, here it is, six months later. It's been a good six months, but we just got a call that they are taking him back to the hospital with trouble breathing. Pneumonia again. He called my wife himself a short while later, acting all upbeat, saying not to bother visiting him in the hospital for a few days. He's a big faker some times. It's a good sign though, that he has the breath and energy to give us his "it's only a flesh wound" spiel.

We'll see...

Hospitals visits are never good. Bad things happen there.

Gravdigr · 06-04-2014, 03:43 PM

glatt · 06-04-2014, 08:37 PM

I think he'll be ok. He needs to be there. Possible leg infection, but I've seen him look far worse. Nurses are all nice. And so was the ER doc.

xoxoxoBruce · 06-04-2014, 08:43 PM

It's good he's there with that infection, sepsis is a big problem because it works so fast.

Aliantha · 06-04-2014, 09:27 PM

I hope he pulls though ok again glatt. Missed this thread the first time round. Sorry bout that. With any luck and no other complications, he'll be fine.

Big Sarge · 06-05-2014, 11:33 PM

hopes and prayers sent

glatt · 06-08-2014, 08:37 AM

It's better this time around because he's not in any pain.

But his breathing isn't very strong. They moved him to the intensive care unit. At night, they put an ipap breathing mask on him, and he doesn't like that but he is refreshed in the morning and animated and talkative. They let him breathe on his own during the day, and as the day wears on, he gets drowsier and drowsier as the carbon dioxide builds up in his blood.

We tried to have a conversation with him about getting a do not intubate or resuscitate document together and he was expressing his wishes, but not precisely enough that we could get the paperwork done. Maybe today.

He's 100% there mentally but his body is quitting on him. We haven't had any official conversations with anyone yet, but my perception is that when he gets out of the ICU, he will be going into the hospice wing of his assisted living place, where they will put a mask on him. I don't see him improving from here. But who knows? I'm not a Dr.

It's so much better this time without all that pain. I'm so thankful for that.

xoxoxoBruce · 06-08-2014, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

We tried to have a conversation with him about getting a do not intubate or resuscitate document together and he was expressing his wishes, but not precisely enough that we could get the paperwork done. Maybe today.

I wonder if the phone call to your wife, the night before he went in, was not so much to put her mind at ease, as to convince himself that this too shall pass?

glatt · 06-30-2014, 08:12 AM

The timing of this is really beginning to suck. On Thursday, we're supposed to hop on a plane to California for a family reunion vacation that's been planned for almost 2 years. My parent's 50th wedding anniversary. 17 people adjusted their schedules to be there. All are my immediate family. We want to go.

But FIL is still in the hospital ICU. My wife is his only family able to be there for him. They fixed his breathing problem a while ago by draining a liter! of fluid out of each lung, and we thought he would be discharged a week or two ago. But they can't get him stable. They have to keep adjusting his various meds up and down to try to get his BP, blood thickness, and pulse in the right zone.

On Saturday they decided he needs a pacemaker because his heart keeps stopping for a couple seconds at a time. He's a borderline case for a pacemaker. So they need to ease off on the blood thinners so he can have the surgery in a few days. Right about the same time we're supposed to fly off to California.

So my wife, who has been carrying all this stress of dealing with this stuff and needs a vacation, is probably going to not come on the vacation. The big family picture she coordinated with a pro photographer in Yosemite is going to have everyone in it but her. She's going to be all alone back home, making trips to the hospital and then coming back home to an empty house while we're off having fun in Yosemite. Except I won't be having fun. I want her there with me. If she's home dealing with this stuff, I want to be home supporting her. The kids want their mom with them. I basically have to go, and I want to go, but everything we do, I'll be wishing she was there too, and it will hold me back from enjoying it.

I'm not even sure FIL should get a pacemaker. If his various systems are as screwed up as they are, is is such a wise idea to make his heart keep beating perfectly? The pacemaker will not even improve his quality of life, other than keeping him from momentarily passing out when his heart stops for a couple seconds. He'd bedridden right now, so who cares if he passes out for a second or two? It's only if he improves and gets out of bed that it would matter. Not my decision though.

I'm grateful that he's comfortable, and alert, and in decent spirits for someone who's been lying in an ICU bed for 3 weeks. But he's forgetful. I think he doesn't even remember that we have a vacation planned, and at this point I think we're not going to remind him. No need to make him feel guilty for keeping his daughter from her trip.

This sucks. I know others have dealt with worse, and I don't know how they manage.

Clodfobble · 06-30-2014, 08:23 AM

That sucks. Sorry, glatt. Is it the kind of thing where he might conceivably die during the timeframe in question, or is it just one of those "I should be there when he wakes up from surgery" kind of things?

glatt · 06-30-2014, 09:20 AM

It's more the "I should be there." I don't think he's dying soon.

The hospital equals uncertainty because he could be discharged any day or they could come up with other procedures they want to do. She needs to be around to help take care of logistics and help with decisions if any of that stuff happens. He's alert, but needs things explained to him. Plus, he can understand us better. English is a second language for most of the folks at the hospital.

If he can get back to the nursing home, that means he's stable. He would feel comfortable there, and so she would be fine leaving for a while.

She just can't leave when things are uncertain and she may be needed to help.

12-14-2013, 11:52 PM	#32
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	It should be there for all of us when we become feeble with whatever misery fastens itself upon us. We may hope to die suddenly while in otherwise good health, but we don't always have that choice. I suspect that a cultural sea-change will be needed if the country is to cope with the approaching demise of the Boomer generation. __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

12-30-2013, 09:14 PM	#34
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	That's excellent news. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

06-04-2014, 03:43 PM	#36
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

06-04-2014, 08:43 PM	#38
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	It's good he's there with that infection, sepsis is a big problem because it works so fast. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

06-04-2014, 09:27 PM	#39
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I hope he pulls though ok again glatt. Missed this thread the first time round. Sorry bout that. With any luck and no other complications, he'll be fine. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

12-14-2013, 07:35 AM	#31
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	FIL is still making progress in the rehab place, and they are talking about moving him back home to his apartment in the assisted living place. Could be in a couple days or maybe a week or two. So that's fantastic. He's mentally in a great place and with his back brace on, he's able to do much of what he used to. But anyway, the bills are rolling in now, and I have to say that Medicare is teh awesome! He spent several weeks in the hospital, some of it in intensive care, and the bills that are coming in are only like $34 here, $15 there, and so on. It's no wonder that Medicare is costing the US taxpayers so much money and the Tea Baggers want to slash and burn it. Based on my FIL's experience, it's a huge financial benefit to the people who use it. I hope it's there for me when I'm a feeble old man with a broken back.

12-30-2013, 12:53 PM	#33
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	He's back home in his apartment at the assisted living place. It's amazing how much he has improved since the low point where I thought he was a goner. He'll still need a big back brace, and needs someone to put it on him before he can get out of bed, but he's pretty much back to his level of self sufficiency once it's on. It's hard to believe it's only been two months since he was first hospitalized. Feels like much longer than that.

06-04-2014, 03:39 PM	#35
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Well, here it is, six months later. It's been a good six months, but we just got a call that they are taking him back to the hospital with trouble breathing. Pneumonia again. He called my wife himself a short while later, acting all upbeat, saying not to bother visiting him in the hospital for a few days. He's a big faker some times. It's a good sign though, that he has the breath and energy to give us his "it's only a flesh wound" spiel. We'll see... Hospitals visits are never good. Bad things happen there.

06-04-2014, 08:37 PM	#37
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I think he'll be ok. He needs to be there. Possible leg infection, but I've seen him look far worse. Nurses are all nice. And so was the ER doc.

06-05-2014, 11:33 PM	#40
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	hopes and prayers sent __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

06-08-2014, 08:37 AM	#41
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	It's better this time around because he's not in any pain. But his breathing isn't very strong. They moved him to the intensive care unit. At night, they put an ipap breathing mask on him, and he doesn't like that but he is refreshed in the morning and animated and talkative. They let him breathe on his own during the day, and as the day wears on, he gets drowsier and drowsier as the carbon dioxide builds up in his blood. We tried to have a conversation with him about getting a do not intubate or resuscitate document together and he was expressing his wishes, but not precisely enough that we could get the paperwork done. Maybe today. He's 100% there mentally but his body is quitting on him. We haven't had any official conversations with anyone yet, but my perception is that when he gets out of the ICU, he will be going into the hospice wing of his assisted living place, where they will put a mask on him. I don't see him improving from here. But who knows? I'm not a Dr. It's so much better this time without all that pain. I'm so thankful for that.

06-30-2014, 08:12 AM	#43
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	The timing of this is really beginning to suck. On Thursday, we're supposed to hop on a plane to California for a family reunion vacation that's been planned for almost 2 years. My parent's 50th wedding anniversary. 17 people adjusted their schedules to be there. All are my immediate family. We want to go. But FIL is still in the hospital ICU. My wife is his only family able to be there for him. They fixed his breathing problem a while ago by draining a liter! of fluid out of each lung, and we thought he would be discharged a week or two ago. But they can't get him stable. They have to keep adjusting his various meds up and down to try to get his BP, blood thickness, and pulse in the right zone. On Saturday they decided he needs a pacemaker because his heart keeps stopping for a couple seconds at a time. He's a borderline case for a pacemaker. So they need to ease off on the blood thinners so he can have the surgery in a few days. Right about the same time we're supposed to fly off to California. So my wife, who has been carrying all this stress of dealing with this stuff and needs a vacation, is probably going to not come on the vacation. The big family picture she coordinated with a pro photographer in Yosemite is going to have everyone in it but her. She's going to be all alone back home, making trips to the hospital and then coming back home to an empty house while we're off having fun in Yosemite. Except I won't be having fun. I want her there with me. If she's home dealing with this stuff, I want to be home supporting her. The kids want their mom with them. I basically have to go, and I want to go, but everything we do, I'll be wishing she was there too, and it will hold me back from enjoying it. I'm not even sure FIL should get a pacemaker. If his various systems are as screwed up as they are, is is such a wise idea to make his heart keep beating perfectly? The pacemaker will not even improve his quality of life, other than keeping him from momentarily passing out when his heart stops for a couple seconds. He'd bedridden right now, so who cares if he passes out for a second or two? It's only if he improves and gets out of bed that it would matter. Not my decision though. I'm grateful that he's comfortable, and alert, and in decent spirits for someone who's been lying in an ICU bed for 3 weeks. But he's forgetful. I think he doesn't even remember that we have a vacation planned, and at this point I think we're not going to remind him. No need to make him feel guilty for keeping his daughter from her trip. This sucks. I know others have dealt with worse, and I don't know how they manage.

06-30-2014, 08:23 AM	#44
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	That sucks. Sorry, glatt. Is it the kind of thing where he might conceivably die during the timeframe in question, or is it just one of those "I should be there when he wakes up from surgery" kind of things? __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

06-30-2014, 09:20 AM	#45
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	It's more the "I should be there." I don't think he's dying soon. The hospital equals uncertainty because he could be discharged any day or they could come up with other procedures they want to do. She needs to be around to help take care of logistics and help with decisions if any of that stuff happens. He's alert, but needs things explained to him. Plus, he can understand us better. English is a second language for most of the folks at the hospital. If he can get back to the nursing home, that means he's stable. He would feel comfortable there, and so she would be fine leaving for a while. She just can't leave when things are uncertain and she may be needed to help.

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