The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Arts & Entertainment

Arts & Entertainment Give meaning to your life or distract you from it for a while

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-26-2002, 12:09 PM   #106
That Guy
He who reads, sometimes writes.
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: at the keyboard
Posts: 791
Quote:
Originally posted by blowmeetheclown
When does a black man turn into a nigger?
The moment he leaves the room.
That Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2002, 07:20 PM   #107
dave
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2002, 08:27 PM   #108
Tobiasly
hot
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Jeffersonville, IN (near Louisville)
Posts: 892
Did you hear about the house the two lesbians built?

There were no studs; it was all tongue-and-groove.
Tobiasly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2002, 08:48 AM   #109
j03L10T
going nowhere slow
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: L.A.
Posts: 252
How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. All she has to do is the handy man.
__________________
"There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'.
j03L10T is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2002, 09:43 AM   #110
MaggieL
in the Hour of Scampering
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Jeffersonville PA (15 mi NW of Philadelphia)
Posts: 4,059
Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Quote:
Originally posted by j03L10T
Just one. All she has to do is the handy man.
When you start off with two lesbians, "handy man" is an oxymoron. :-)
__________________
"Neither can his Mind be thought to be in Tune,whose words do jarre; nor his reason In frame, whose sentence is preposterous..."

MaggieL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2002, 08:02 AM   #111
j03L10T
going nowhere slow
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: L.A.
Posts: 252
Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Quote:
Originally posted by MaggieL

When you start off with two lesbians, "handy man" is an oxymoron. :-)
As intended, there are two characters in the joke. One who is a lesbian, the other is a handy man. Sorry if it went over your head, but the lesbian in the joke would still prefer a man to screw it in for her. The bulb that is and the handy man only likes women but I felt no need to include that information in the joke. My answer is still "just one". It is an original. No sarcasm intended, honest.

: ]
__________________
"There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'.
j03L10T is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2002, 03:06 PM   #112
headsplice
Relaxed
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 676
"What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?"
__________________
Don't Panic
headsplice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2002, 05:57 PM   #113
dave
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Nothin', y'already done told'er twice.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2002, 10:51 PM   #114
MaggieL
in the Hour of Scampering
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Jeffersonville PA (15 mi NW of Philadelphia)
Posts: 4,059
Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Quote:
Originally posted by j03L10T

Sorry if it went over your head, but the lesbian in the joke would still prefer a man to screw it in for her.
: ]
Sorry if it went over *your* head, but for a lesbian, there's nothing handy about a man. :-) It is true that how much some men would like to believe lesbians need them for *anything* other than the occasional sperm donation is one of the funniest things on the planet.

How many fleas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but the problem is getting them in there to begin with.
__________________
"Neither can his Mind be thought to be in Tune,whose words do jarre; nor his reason In frame, whose sentence is preposterous..."

MaggieL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2002, 11:34 AM   #115
j03L10T
going nowhere slow
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: L.A.
Posts: 252
Quote:
Originally posted by headsplice
"What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?"
I dunno, maybe "now that's what I call being 'hard up' for nookie?".
__________________
"There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'.
j03L10T is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2002, 08:32 PM   #116
russotto
Professor
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,788
Re: Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Quote:
Originally posted by MaggieL

Sorry if it went over *your* head, but for a lesbian, there's nothing handy about a man. :-) It is true that how much some men would like to believe lesbians need them for *anything* other than the occasional sperm donation is one of the funniest things on the planet.
You mean lesbians have learned to open vacuum-sealed jars, do basic automobile maintenence, and read maps? Damn, there go those subjugation strategies right out the window.

Hmph. I'll bet you're the one who gave away the secrets, too. You're not going to tell the heterosexual women, are you?
russotto is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2002, 08:33 PM   #117
wolf
lobber of scimitars
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,775
I hear they can parallel park too ...
__________________
wolf eht htiw og

"Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island

High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis
wolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2002, 08:49 PM   #118
Tobiasly
hot
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Jeffersonville, IN (near Louisville)
Posts: 892
Yeah, sure wolf. You'll believe anything you see on TV.

"Now with quadrasteering, to help you get in tight spaces." Of course they don't show the woman getting out of the car and letting the professional driver in to back in between those motorcycles.

Do you know why Helen Keller was such a bad driver? Oops, sorry.. already done
Tobiasly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2002, 09:08 PM   #119
wolf
lobber of scimitars
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,775
Quote:
Originally posted by Tobiasly
Yeah, sure wolf. You'll believe anything you see on TV.

"Now with quadrasteering, to help you get in tight spaces." Of course they don't show the woman getting out of the car and letting the professional driver in to back in between those motorcycles.
Just because the chick ... er... woman in that commericial with the bikers drives an SUV and is able to parallel park does NOT make her a lesbian!!

My apologies if I spoiled your fantasy.
__________________
wolf eht htiw og

"Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island

High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis
wolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2002, 09:33 PM   #120
MaggieL
in the Hour of Scampering
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Jeffersonville PA (15 mi NW of Philadelphia)
Posts: 4,059
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Quote:
Originally posted by russotto
Hmph. I'll bet you're the one who gave away the secrets, too. You're not going to tell the heterosexual women, are you?
Naw....none of them will sleep with me. :-)
__________________
"Neither can his Mind be thought to be in Tune,whose words do jarre; nor his reason In frame, whose sentence is preposterous..."

MaggieL is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
humor


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:30 PM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.