Women's' Urinals

[Pangloss62]

You must be referring to what some call a "squatter" lavatory. They are quite common in Asia and Parts of Europe.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I wonder if they produce good pole dancers?

[Elspode]

I read some treatise many years ago that stated, rather emphatically, that the squatting facility was what *every* homo sapiens should be using, because that was the way our bowels were designed to be voided. The author attributed most of the ills of both society and the human body to the failure of Europeans and Westerners to take a proper dump.

[Pangloss62]

That sounds partially true. Squatting achives maximum dialation of the anus, thereby encouraging the maximum voiding of feces. Probably results in less residue as well (less ass-wiping needed).

My father once told me of an African tribal leader who regularly would request his underlings to "void" themselves, take the end product with them, and form a line to allow the leader to inspect said product. He would go down the line and determine if his tribe was healthy by what he did or didn't see in their stools.

I knew I should have become a paleoscatologist.

[SteveDallas]

OK, I'm now completely convinced that we need a separate forum area for scatologically-oriented topics.

[Elspode]

I think that's a bunch of shit, SD.

Originally Posted by Pangloss62

You must be referring to what some call a "squatter" lavatory. They are quite common in Asia and Parts of Europe.

What happens to the disabled?

[Cyclefrance]

Never mind the physological dynamics of the bloody things - I've reluctantly tried these abominations in men's toilets in France on a number of occasions and now try to avoid them like the bubonic. Whoever invented them never looked past the 'a-hole-in-the-ground-is-all-they-need' concept.

They are the most unhygienic objects in the world, invariably swimming in the misdirections of other users' urine and also having nowhere to park ones trousers/pants when partaking of the required squatting position - result: pissy-pants.

No wonder (and thank god!) they have failed miserably to proliferate in the modern world of water closets...

[Ibby]

I'll just go piss on this friendly looking streetlamp if'n you don't mind. 'S better than a "squat'n'squirt".

EDIT: In China (mainland China, mind you), those kinds are so much more common than, y'know, real toilets, that most people actually squat on those, too, putting their feet on the seat and squatting over the bowl. I guess they think us damn fer'ners are crazy for putting our holes up so high in the air.

[Sundae]

Had to use a squatter lav last time I was in Italy. We'd just been to my friend's wedding and were in a bar for a quick shot before heading to the reception (at a 5* villa with proper toilets!)

I had on a long dress, 3" stiletto mules and a hat. How I managed not to give myself a bath I'm not sure.

For the record I think every Mother does teach her daughter to hover. When I grew up I rejected this - I wipe the seat before I start but that's about it. I think I stopped bothering when I first started drinking - it was enough of an effort to remember to pull my pants down!

[Pangloss62]

You sound very practical, Sundae. Do what you have to do in a given situation.

To be honest, I don't think human buttocks carry much disease, so wiping and sitting sounds reasonable. What ticks me off are guys who, for some bizzare reason, choose to piss in the stall rather than in the unrinal, even when one of the latter is availible. What's up with that?

And now we have some wise acre who's choosing not to flush his loafs. I think he's proud of them.

What type of shoe, exactly, are "mules"??

[Sundae]

Mules are backless shoes - usually peeptoe (as mine were) and usually heeled, but not exclusively. Very pretty, but don't make porcelain any easier to negotiate!

I have a male friend who only urinates sitting down - perhaps this is the case for other men using the stalls? Or perhaps they are self conscious for some reason?

Personally I dislike going in front of someone else, and used to get very frustrated when my housemate took long baths, effectively tying up the only toilet in the house. She's say, "Oh you can come in, I don't mind!" I do! What if a really noxious fart creeps out? How lovely will your bubble bath be then?

[Cyclefrance]

Originally Posted by Pangloss62

1. What ticks me off are guys who, for some bizzare reason, choose to piss in the stall rather than in the unrinal, even when one of the latter is availible. What's up with that?

2. And now we have some wise acre who's choosing not to flush his loafs. I think he's proud of them.

1. The inability to get the water flowing when in company - happens to some - psychological - a bit like when the doctor sasks you for a urine sample and its a bugger to relax enough to do so.....

2. You just wakened a very old memory,

We have a public house (bar) in Dulwich, South London, near where we all used to live in our youthful drinking days, called the Alleyn's Head. I remember stopping off there with my pals to have a pint one night. It was about two thirds of the way through the evening and, as a result, at that time when every pub visited requires a call to the Gents for bladder space creation.

The urinals were not enough in number to take us all (yes communal peeing is an essential male passtime), and so one pal took to a stall for his wee. Above the relatively pleasant sound of running water in theurinal area, he was suddenly heard from behind the door to his stall to utter the word 'Jesus!' quite loudly. He emereged looking quite shocked and insisted we all enter to witness what he had seen.

No word of a lie it was the most enormous log I, or any of us, had ever seen - at least 6" in diameter and a good 20" long, and wedged firmly between the bowl and the bend! It wasn't going to budge - and we weren't about to make encourage it do so by any other means...

Instead, and as unanimously agreed, we spent the next ten minutes searching for someone with severely watering eyes....

[Sundae]

That made me laugh immoderately, thank you !

I confess I once did one that (although nowhere near as big) sat upright in the pan & therefore didn't flush. Luckily I was at home and eventually persuaded it. Also - luckily - this was about 17 years ago. If it happened today I'd be tempted to take a photo on my mobile.... And that would be WRONG.

[Pangloss62]

6" in diameter? I'm incredulous. How can that be?

One of these days I'm gonna make it to London and go to a "public house." London folks appreciate a good pint, none of that watery shite most people drink here. I like Whitbread; that's pretty good.

Hey cyclefrance, what kind of bike do you ride? I think I mentioned to you that I have a Grandis frame with a mixture of Campy and Shimano.



And thanks for the Mule description, Sundae; you can fart around me anytime.