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Old 08-12-2010, 11:55 AM   #1171
Juniper
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That explains why my Blackberry caught a virus.

Har, har, har.

Actually I don't know that it's a virus, it's just broken. AT&T is sending me a new one and I hope it gets here real soon.
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Old 08-12-2010, 02:09 PM   #1172
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@ Juni
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Old 08-12-2010, 02:59 PM   #1173
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Hey, sweet! According to that chart, I should own an iPhone. So who's gonna buy me one?
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:14 PM   #1174
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I knew I picked the wrong phone. Dangit!
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Old 09-24-2010, 03:22 PM   #1175
Gravdigr
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Payback Is A Bitch!

So, if you'll recall, I was relating what we'll refer to as The Re-awakening of Gravdigr...

On the night in question (Oh What a Night), during the preliminaries, I was, shall we say, having an intense and deeply stimulating conversation with 'a little man in a boat'. This was not a short chat folks. I'd been wanting to have this particular conversation for like twelve-fifteen YEARS. Anyway, during the conversation, whenever she 'neared the top of the mountain', I would not let her actually reach the top of said mountain. I would stop 'talking', and go back to the slooooow circular rub. I lost count how many times this happened. When, finally, I let her get to the mountaintop (I call this "Mountaintop Removal Mining") she says "Oh, he's not gonna stop!!" I liked that.

Now, I told you that, to tell you this:

Last night, she stops in for a visit. After we sent mom-and-popdigr to their room, she climbs onto my lap and proceeds to give me the mother of all lapdances. People, I have never been this turned on when everyone involved had their clothes on. What was, at first, unconcealable stirrings, soon turned into a fully engorged, blue-veined throbber. I'm wearing thin cotton shorts, so there's no hiding anything. She reaches up the leg of my shorts, takes matters into hand and says "Looks like you're ready!"

And then she left.

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Old 09-24-2010, 03:59 PM   #1176
Pico and ME
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You write sexy very well Gravedigr..
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Old 09-26-2010, 12:53 AM   #1177
Gravdigr
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Why thank you.
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Old 09-26-2010, 09:33 AM   #1178
footfootfoot
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Looks like she intends to make your mountain climb more of an expedition...
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Old 09-26-2010, 03:21 PM   #1179
Undertoad
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This is actually against the rules and regulations.

Womenfolk don't understand because their sexual response is different. But the law is, if you touch it, you have to finish it.

What she doesn't realize, digr, is that five seconds after the door shut, you were in your bedroom beating your dick like it owed you money.* And twenty seconds after that, the entire encounter was over and you were thinking, not about her, but about whether there's any milk left in the fridge. That's what we are as guys and I'm not sure the females of our species fully understand this.

*I believe this line was originally written by Paul Mooney, used on The Dave Chappelle Show and was subsequently stolen by Carlos Mencia.
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Old 09-26-2010, 05:15 PM   #1180
Clodfobble
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It can't work that way 100% of the time, though, or else you wouldn't need us in the first place.
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Old 09-26-2010, 05:16 PM   #1181
classicman
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I think its Tastycakes - yeh he was more likely thinkin of them.
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Old 09-26-2010, 05:59 PM   #1182
footfootfoot
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble View Post
It can't work that way 100% of the time, though, or else you wouldn't need us in the first place.
We don't need you in the first place, we need you in the special place.
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Old 09-26-2010, 06:22 PM   #1183
Undertoad
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She thinks she's created a situation where he wants her more because she left him hanging, because that's how it works for her. How it works for guys is, once a guy gets aroused, he is going to finish somewhere* - it's so biologically driven that for many guys it's practically painful not to. And then move on to the next thing. That's just what we do, that's our programming.


* He would want her more if it was on her stomach, but this time it was on a dirty sock next to the bed.
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Old 09-26-2010, 07:53 PM   #1184
xoxoxoBruce
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If you want to be wanted, this is the only time in your live when you get the opportunity, you should blow it.
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Old 09-27-2010, 02:20 AM   #1185
Gravdigr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by footfootfoot View Post
Looks like she intends to make your mountain climb more of an expedition...
I'm actually kinda cool with that. Till I explode.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
This is actually against the rules and regulations.
I think they may play by different rules.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
But the law is, if you touch it, you have to finish it.
No, no. It's supposed to be "If I get to touch it, I get to finish it."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
What she doesn't realize, digr, is that five seconds after the door shut, you were in your bedroom beating your dick like it owed you money.
Actually, in the condition I was in, it would've been more of a 'hands-free' situation. And, instead of a beating, a mild threat would've worked nicely.

And I wouldn't loan money to my dick.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
And twenty seconds after that, the entire encounter was over and you were thinking, not about her, but about whether there's any milk left in the fridge.
I've not stopped thinking about her since the first inkling this might happen.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
She thinks she's created a situation where he wants her more because she left him hanging, because that's how it works for her.
Oh, it's workin' on me, brother, it's workin'!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
* He would want her more if it was on her stomach, but this time it was on a dirty sock next to the bed.
I would hate to know what it feels like to want her more.
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