What do women really think about sex!

[sharpness]

Now I'm new here and hope this is acceptable for the Relationships part of the forum but I am reativly inexperienced - not been with many women but would like some straight talking candid answers to those things that get said to me.

Even tho I wake in the morning ready for some quick hot action we always have to brush our teeth first - I get why but where is the fun in that - it kind looses the moment (amoungst other things). It that accross the board??

She never want to do it more than once - yes we've been married nearly 17 years and only on 3 occaisions can I remember it more than once. Well???

Even tho the sex is good (for us both) it never seems a priority. I nearly always intigate it and and Im made to feel like I'm being done a favor quite often - I want to be wanted as well???

It seems most men could do it most nights - am I wrong - but to up it to more than once a week for us - wow thats a though one - been trying for most of the last 17 years - if you have a good lover why wouldn't you want to do it every night - or day????

Well there you go - I'm sure i could come up with a load more given the time but what is your experince and thoughts on these both trivial and important issues........

[glatt]

I can't speak for the women, but if you are getting sex once a week after 17 years of marriage, I think you have little to complain about. That's pretty good. I hope I'll be getting that much when I've been married 17 years.

[Trilby]

I like sex. I want it more than once a week. What's wrong with a quickie? Sex can be a long, drawn-out, wonderful dramatic action, or it can be quick and satisfying as scratching an itch. I know what he means. It's probably more a 'want to be wanted' type of thing. Everyone wants to be wanted.

[Undertoad]

My ex wanted it every 6 weeks or so

My current wants it every day we get together.

I like my current better.

[Iggy]

Ok, first of all I am going to say that all women are different and the best way to know how she feels about it is to ask her. I don’t know about others on the board, but the more women I meet the more differences I can find. So anything I say could be way off base.

One of the possibilities is she just doesn’t have a strong libido, if one at all. The two most common causes for low libido, in my experience, are hormones and stress. If someone is stress, usually they don’t want to have sex. She might have had problems in the past that still haunt her to this day and it makes her not want sex. However I kind of doubt that just because 17 years is a long time to go without dealing with problems like that. But some people need others to help them get over past experiences, and she might be one of them.

Another possibility is that she only orgasms once. It could be that after that first orgasm, she no longer wants to have sex. Some women are like that. If she never has more than one orgasm then it certainly could be the case as long as there wasn’t something else stopping her from going again, but don’t ask me what that would be, I don’t really know.

Maybe she is sore after only one time and it hurts to go on. If it is painful to have sex more than once I doubt she would do it. But I would think she would tell you that, so I don’t know. I keep coming back to the whole communication thing, but I think it is a necessity.

About the brushing teeth thing, maybe she has a serious aversion to morning breath. That could be the most disgusting thing on the world to her which is not conductive to having sex. So that just could be her. Think about it, if there was a bodily function that disgusted you, let’s say for the sake of the example it is taking a crap, then would you want to have sex around it or during it? I doubt it.

Another thing it could be is her stalling for time. If she knows that if she tells you to go brush your teeth before sex and that breaks the mood for you, she could trying to get out of having sex. I don’t know. Again, you should ask her to know for sure what it is. She might want more foreplay and knows (or thinks) that if you have sex when you wake up you won’t have foreplay that could be enough incentive for her to avoid it.

She might be of the opinion that since she is the woman she doesn’t have to instigate it. She may think that sex shouldn’t happen very often and if she gives it to you once a week she is doing you a favor. I don’t know her so I don’t know what her opinion on it is. Maybe she just doesn’t think about how her actions affect you. Have you told her how you feel about it? The best thing to have in a sex life is communication. That way if something is wrong, or needs to be changed, or whatever, you will know about it and can do your best to get it taken care of.

From what I have heard most men do not get it most nights. 2 or 3 times a week is pretty good, but that doesn’t mean anything for you. If most men got it only twice a year, you wouldn’t want to be like them would you? Everyone is different and every couple interacts differently. Maybe she thinks she can exert control over you by withholding sex. Again, I don’t know. I’m grasping for any possible reason.

One married couple I know only have sex a couple times a month. They used to have sex more than that, but they just recently had a baby. Now she thinks that since she is a mom they shouldn’t have sex any more than once a week. I think this is silly, but she thinks it just the same. And she doesn’t want to have sex more than one day in a row because she gets sore. She would probably get sore after more than one time as well.

So it could really be anything.

By the way, I am a woman and I want it at least twice a week. But I haven't been married for 17 years.

[sharpness]

Hey Iggy thanks for that - interesting, though I would say that I am aware of most if not all of the things you mentioned - I don't mean that in a big headed way just honest - we do talk, I’m a sensitive bloke most of the time and we are a caring couple. I think that she is slightly prudish is some areas, has hang-ups from the past and a low-ish libido.
It’s easy to generalize and I know I have in a way, however we do talk a lot about these things over the year and really I wasn't looking for answers to my “problem” necessarily but was wanting others opinions and experiences. Without going with other women - which is unlikely now and - I only have this marriage to compare with hence the question "What do women really think about sex?" I have only ever slept with her - now there's a whole other topic!

I think its not that unsual for couples who have been together 15 - 20 years to have sex maybe once or twice a week. Women do have different sex drives then men. I've had brief flings (hot and passionate), as well as a 20 year marriage - we went down to twice a week after the first 10 years or so. Does your wife have a job? When I was married, I had to get up and get into work by 8:00am. I am NOT a morning person and it takes me forever to wake up. It was a huge chore to wake up, go fix some coffee, jump in the shower, get dressed and get out the door in time to be at work. Morning sex was definately NOT high on my agenda. I was more ready for sex at bedtime, but then my husband would complain that he'd had a long day and was tired. I didn't mind morning sex on the weekends when we could have it and I could fall back to sleep for a while. My husband would then get up and fix me coffee and bring it to me in bed. That made me feel quite pampered. Yeah, weekends were nice!

[sharpness]

Originally Posted by marichiko

I was more ready for sex at bedtime, but then my husband would complain that he'd had a long day and was tired.

He complained ........................................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Done that about - let me see - once before a 6 am flight perhaps. Given the opportunity I would rarely turn it down and yes morning sex when it happens is great - but usually a couple of teenagers loitering about the house! She (my wife) does have a job but only for about 6 months of the year so often is sleeping when I leave the house. This is great - never expected such a great adult response.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Iggy

Another possibility is that she only orgasms once. It could be that after that first orgasm, she no longer wants to have sex.

Woman? Orgasm? Really?

OK, I'm kidding, but the sad fact is I could get a lot of clueless guys to back me up on that statement.

The question is does she have an orgasm; always? sometimes? never? That's important for any lover to know.

Originally Posted by sharpness

He complained ........................................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Done that about - let me see - once before a 6 am flight perhaps. Given the opportunity I would rarely turn it down and yes morning sex when it happens is great - but usually a couple of teenagers loitering about the house! She (my wife) does have a job but only for about 6 months of the year so often is sleeping when I leave the house. This is great - never expected such a great adult response.

Well, he didn't ALWAYS complain! In defense of my ex husband's manliness, he worked for the Forest Service and often had spent a 9 or 10 hour day cruising timber, cutting slash, or constructing trails at altitudes of over 9,000 feet. He'd come home and run 5 miles, in addition, to remain fit for fire fighting season, so he tended to zonk out at night like he'd been hit by a falling tree!

[FallenFairy]

ahhh but it's also up to the woman to help her lover learn what works for her- no fair laying there and making him guess.
I am a woman...
I want it daily...
sex rocks.

[sharpness]

Originally Posted by FallenFairy

ahhh but it's also up to the woman to help her lover learn what works for her- no fair laying there and making him guess.
I am a woman...
I want it daily...
sex rocks.

Bugger - all you women who want it daily or "the more the better" where were you when when I was looking for a soul mate and what are you doing tonight... . Oh and yes she does orgasm regularly if not in the usual way then with a little help from a small buzzing device. Do I give too much away!!

[SouthOfNoNorth]

in my experience, women are usually thinking "he better pay up this time or i swear i'll have the pimp cut his face."

oh, and sometimes "ten drinks ago, i never would have though i'd be doing this."

[Cheyenne]

!

[Iggy]

Oh! Oops... I misunderstood the question.


Well, like I said, I like sex at least twice a week. I would like it more but I work full time and go to college part time so I don't have much more time than that... but the more the better!