Corrupted Wish - Page 6

dar512 · 10-27-2005, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothmoniker

the new ones are for shite.

I dunno.
Legacy sounds pretty fine to me. Listen to dot com eyes.

Elspode · 10-27-2005, 01:17 PM

Tonchi wakes up one morning to discover that she has miraculously gotten DSL overnight. Unfortunately, she left her computer on and had never bothered with a firewall, so her machine is groaning under the load of viri and spyware it contains. The only thing worse is that her hard drive is completely filled with spam emails and adult anime featuring Sailor Moon.

I wish I had any self-discipline.

mrnoodle · 10-27-2005, 02:05 PM

Elspode has an extraordinary amount of self-discipline. Nature compensates, however, by removing his intelligence. He goes 3 weeks without a bowel movement, just to show that he can. Three staffers at the colonic irrigation clinic resigned in protest.

I wish I knew how to convince people not to commit adultery.

BigV · 10-27-2005, 03:56 PM

After wasting your breath on these stupid people you have a brainstorm! You decide that experience is the best teacher. You hook up with the hawt MILF wearing the short skirt in the front row. It is fantastic! It is so mind-blowingly off the scale stimulating in *every* way you begin to wonder why you ever opposed the idea in the first place. As you ponder this, your refractory period is interrupted by a loud thud in the other room, a bright flash of light that rapidly fades to darkness and the contrast of the of the cool bathroom tile on the side of your face to the spreading sweet pool of warmth coming from the back of your head. You do not suffer.

Nor do you live to see the garish tabloid-noir pictures splashed on the front page of you, or what was left of you splashed around the bathroom and the hands of the jealous husband. You wish is granted as you serve as an astonishingly and revoltingly potent example or why adultery is a bad idea.

I wish more people were content with less stuff.

Elspode · 10-27-2005, 04:14 PM

A wormhole opens in space and swallows the Earth. Through some unknown, but undoubtedly pretty damn complex process, everyone is hurled back through time, and all of their stuff vanishes, save for the merest necessities of life. People look around at the fresh air, the simpler world they live in, and are immediately content. They are, in fact, so content, that they become super-Luddites, and refuse to develop any of the lost technologies...even the essential ones.

Everyone dies from the common cold.

I wish the correct fax number had been put on this damn lien waiver.

Griff · 10-27-2005, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrnoodle

Elspode has an extraordinary amount of self-discipline. Nature compensates, however, by removing his intelligence. He goes 3 weeks without a bowel movement, just to show that he can. Three staffers at the colonic irrigation clinic resigned in protest.

sidebar: this is some funny shit

lumberjim · 10-27-2005, 06:12 PM

great, now this thread will devolve into bunch of crappy puns.

I, for one, think that stinks.

BigV · 10-27-2005, 06:18 PM

Poof! Thread is rerailed from peril of bad puns. Unfortunately, all the humor is on the side of the tracks and replies glide by unemcumbered by humor as well. Granted wishes come with generic corruptions like, you get your wish then die. Next.

I wish lumberjim would construct his next couple of replies to this thread in his poet mode.

lumberjim · 10-27-2005, 06:29 PM

forsooth.

lumberjim · 10-27-2005, 06:35 PM

[big black guy voice]watch while i soliloquize yo ass.[/bbgv]

his wish granted
his ass planted
in a chair
under his hair
big V, you must see
wishes he was me
now exposed,
he feels hosed
now i wish
for some fish
on my fish wish dish.

smoothmoniker · 10-27-2005, 06:43 PM

LJ has his fish
too bad they are piranha
skeleton remains

a coming winter
of unfailing contenment
wished for in the fall

BigV · 10-27-2005, 06:48 PM

Poof!

Grouper, Tuna, Salmon, Bass
Compared to lj' poetics,
I generate more hysterics.
Now you all can kiss my ass.

A wish? Not really, a fervent hope
Is really more like it.
Saw the bait, took it.
Please,

don't sound like a dope.

Elspode · 10-27-2005, 07:30 PM

A bored fairy godmother, having seen SM's beautifully expressed, but sadly misspelled wish, waves her wand and grants him a winter of containment (because she can't spell very well, either)...in the Colorado State Penitentiary.

I wish I could play Blues and sing like the guy I'm listening to now on the station BigV turned me on to.

BigV · 10-27-2005, 07:35 PM

I refuse to corrupt this wish. Next caller, please. I'm listening too.

I wish you all could hear it.

Griff · 10-27-2005, 07:38 PM

You posted the name so we all could, but none of us get it.

I wish I had a better photo for that other thread.

10-27-2005, 01:17 PM	#77
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Tonchi wakes up one morning to discover that she has miraculously gotten DSL overnight. Unfortunately, she left her computer on and had never bothered with a firewall, so her machine is groaning under the load of viri and spyware it contains. The only thing worse is that her hard drive is completely filled with spam emails and adult anime featuring Sailor Moon. I wish I had any self-discipline. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-27-2005, 02:05 PM	#78
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	Elspode has an extraordinary amount of self-discipline. Nature compensates, however, by removing his intelligence. He goes 3 weeks without a bowel movement, just to show that he can. Three staffers at the colonic irrigation clinic resigned in protest. I wish I knew how to convince people not to commit adultery. __________________ Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

10-27-2005, 03:56 PM	#79
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	After wasting your breath on these stupid people you have a brainstorm! You decide that experience is the best teacher. You hook up with the hawt MILF wearing the short skirt in the front row. It is fantastic! It is so mind-blowingly off the scale stimulating in every way you begin to wonder why you ever opposed the idea in the first place. As you ponder this, your refractory period is interrupted by a loud thud in the other room, a bright flash of light that rapidly fades to darkness and the contrast of the of the cool bathroom tile on the side of your face to the spreading sweet pool of warmth coming from the back of your head. You do not suffer. Nor do you live to see the garish tabloid-noir pictures splashed on the front page of you, or what was left of you splashed around the bathroom and the hands of the jealous husband. You wish is granted as you serve as an astonishingly and revoltingly potent example or why adultery is a bad idea. I wish more people were content with less stuff. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-27-2005, 04:14 PM	#80
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	A wormhole opens in space and swallows the Earth. Through some unknown, but undoubtedly pretty damn complex process, everyone is hurled back through time, and all of their stuff vanishes, save for the merest necessities of life. People look around at the fresh air, the simpler world they live in, and are immediately content. They are, in fact, so content, that they become super-Luddites, and refuse to develop any of the lost technologies...even the essential ones. Everyone dies from the common cold. I wish the correct fax number had been put on this damn lien waiver. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-27-2005, 06:12 PM	#82
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	great, now this thread will devolve into bunch of crappy puns. I, for one, think that stinks. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-27-2005, 06:18 PM	#83
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Poof! Thread is rerailed from peril of bad puns. Unfortunately, all the humor is on the side of the tracks and replies glide by unemcumbered by humor as well. Granted wishes come with generic corruptions like, you get your wish then die. Next. I wish lumberjim would construct his next couple of replies to this thread in his poet mode. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-27-2005, 06:29 PM	#84
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	forsooth. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-27-2005, 06:35 PM	#85
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	[big black guy voice]watch while i soliloquize yo ass.[/bbgv] his wish granted his ass planted in a chair under his hair big V, you must see wishes he was me now exposed, he feels hosed now i wish for some fish on my fish wish dish. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-27-2005, 06:43 PM	#86
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	LJ has his fish too bad they are piranha skeleton remains a coming winter of unfailing contenment wished for in the fall __________________ to live and die in LA

10-27-2005, 06:48 PM	#87
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Poof! Grouper, Tuna, Salmon, Bass Compared to lj' poetics, I generate more hysterics. Now you all can kiss my ass. A wish? Not really, a fervent hope Is really more like it. Saw the bait, took it. Please, don't sound like a dope. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-27-2005, 07:30 PM	#88
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	A bored fairy godmother, having seen SM's beautifully expressed, but sadly misspelled wish, waves her wand and grants him a winter of containment (because she can't spell very well, either)...in the Colorado State Penitentiary. I wish I could play Blues and sing like the guy I'm listening to now on the station BigV turned me on to. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-27-2005, 07:35 PM	#89
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	I refuse to corrupt this wish. Next caller, please. I'm listening too. I wish you all could hear it. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-27-2005, 07:38 PM	#90
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	You posted the name so we all could, but none of us get it. I wish I had a better photo for that other thread. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

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