Raising Boys (Funny)

LCanal · 07-03-2005, 07:45 PM

Some of you may have seen this before, but it's worth sharing for a laugh. It's called "RAISING BOYS"
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!

b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...! Things I've learned from my 4 Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late. 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 1

4.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

footfootfoot · 07-03-2005, 09:20 PM

I'm an 80%er

xoxoxoBruce · 07-04-2005, 09:57 PM

Brake fluid and dry pool chorline will burn down your house.

LCanal · 07-04-2005, 10:00 PM

I went home last night and mixed Bleach with Brake fluid and got nothing.

BigV · 07-04-2005, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Brake fluid and dry pool chorline will burn down your house.

So this is what they mean when they talk about the things you read on the internet...

BigV · 07-04-2005, 10:45 PM

I'm so disappointed.

plthijinx · 07-05-2005, 04:38 PM

I think you want ammonia and chlorine, not too sure though and the one cubemate that would know has already split for night classes. to be continued........

BigV · 07-05-2005, 06:13 PM

Continued, indeed. Or ended.

LCanal · 07-05-2005, 07:53 PM

BigV so if it's ammonia and chlorine do you have any lawn fertilizer and chlorine. Psst. At this rate we'll have the Homeland Security boys on the Cellar!!

BigV · 07-05-2005, 09:03 PM

lmao!

let's hope it's not my last

LCanal · 07-06-2005, 01:38 AM

Good luck. Hope to hear from you again.

footfootfoot · 07-06-2005, 10:11 AM

According to David Sedaris, ammonia and clorox make a very good cleanser when mixed together. You just need to keep saying to yourself: "I want to live, I want to live..."

I think the combo makes ammonium chloride.

russotto · 07-06-2005, 03:21 PM

You need to use the shock chlorinators (calcium hypochlorite), not the stablized stuff, when making a big fire with brake fluid and swimming pool chlorine.

Ammonia and chlorine make all sorts of stuff, generally called chloramines -- NH2Cl, NHCl2, NCl3 (which is not as much fun as NI3, but similar; it disassociates and releases free chlorine gas). Probably not NH4Cl (ammonium chloride), you need an acid for that and bleach and ammonia are both basic.

footfootfoot · 07-06-2005, 10:16 PM

I need some remedial chem classes, thanks.

russotto · 07-12-2005, 08:04 PM

Chem? I learned everything I know about explosions from Sluggy Freelance.

07-03-2005, 07:45 PM	#1
LCanal I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Sumatra Posts: 257	Raising Boys (Funny) Some of you may have seen this before, but it's worth sharing for a laugh. It's called "RAISING BOYS" a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical! b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny. d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control. The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...! Things I've learned from my 4 Boys (honest and not kidding): 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late. 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies. 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy. 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12.) Super glue is forever. 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 1 4.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. 25.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids. __________________ "Happiness is like sex. In order to get any good out of it, you have to give it to someone else."

07-03-2005, 09:20 PM	#2
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	I'm an 80%er __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

07-04-2005, 09:57 PM	#3
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Brake fluid and dry pool chorline will burn down your house. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

07-04-2005, 10:00 PM	#4
LCanal I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Sumatra Posts: 257	I went home last night and mixed Bleach with Brake fluid and got nothing. __________________ "Happiness is like sex. In order to get any good out of it, you have to give it to someone else."

07-04-2005, 10:45 PM	#6
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	I'm so disappointed. Attached Images __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

07-05-2005, 04:38 PM	#7
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	I think you want ammonia and chlorine, not too sure though and the one cubemate that would know has already split for night classes. to be continued........ __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

07-05-2005, 06:13 PM	#8
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Continued, indeed. Or ended. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

07-05-2005, 07:53 PM	#9
LCanal I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Sumatra Posts: 257	BigV so if it's ammonia and chlorine do you have any lawn fertilizer and chlorine. Psst. At this rate we'll have the Homeland Security boys on the Cellar!! __________________ "Happiness is like sex. In order to get any good out of it, you have to give it to someone else."

07-05-2005, 09:03 PM	#10
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	lmao! let's hope it's not my last __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

07-06-2005, 01:38 AM	#11
LCanal I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Sumatra Posts: 257	Good luck. Hope to hear from you again. __________________ "Happiness is like sex. In order to get any good out of it, you have to give it to someone else."

07-06-2005, 10:11 AM	#12
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	According to David Sedaris, ammonia and clorox make a very good cleanser when mixed together. You just need to keep saying to yourself: "I want to live, I want to live..." I think the combo makes ammonium chloride. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

07-06-2005, 03:21 PM	#13
russotto Professor Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 1,788	You need to use the shock chlorinators (calcium hypochlorite), not the stablized stuff, when making a big fire with brake fluid and swimming pool chlorine. Ammonia and chlorine make all sorts of stuff, generally called chloramines -- NH2Cl, NHCl2, NCl3 (which is not as much fun as NI3, but similar; it disassociates and releases free chlorine gas). Probably not NH4Cl (ammonium chloride), you need an acid for that and bleach and ammonia are both basic.

07-06-2005, 10:16 PM	#14
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	I need some remedial chem classes, thanks. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

07-12-2005, 08:04 PM	#15
russotto Professor Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 1,788	Chem? I learned everything I know about explosions from Sluggy Freelance.

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