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Old 12-05-2002, 09:51 PM   #121
Undertoad
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(Re the SUV broad...) She's Professional Grade. Get used to it.
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Old 12-06-2002, 12:02 AM   #122
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Quote:
Originally posted by wolf
My apologies if I spoiled your fantasy.
You didn't spoil my fantasy. I think 95% of women have just a touch of lesbian in 'em. My fantasy is alive and well.
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Old 12-06-2002, 12:06 AM   #123
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Damn, I just remembered some good Jesus jokes after posting about the Bible in the other thread...

<B>Q:</B> Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's?

<B>A:</B> They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
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Old 12-06-2002, 12:07 AM   #124
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Jesus walks into an inn, throws three nails down on the counter, and says "can you put me up for the night?"
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Old 12-06-2002, 12:09 AM   #125
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And my favorite one.. it's a visual joke, but at least you can tell it to others even if it's not funny written down:

<B>Q:</B> Why do all the chicks dig Jesus?

<B>A:</B><I> (Stretch both hands outwards, like in a "fish that got away" pose).</I> Because he's hung like this.
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Old 12-06-2002, 08:29 AM   #126
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Why don't most guys like to eat vegetables?
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Old 12-06-2002, 11:44 AM   #127
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Quote:
Originally posted by russotto
Hmph. I'll bet you're the one who gave away the secrets, too. You're not going to tell the heterosexual women, are you?
Now wait a second, it seems that someone has jumped the gun a little here. Just two things, for the record here:

1. I created the lesbian in the joke therefore as HER creator I maintain that she is a lesbian who still believes that most, if not all men are meant to be controlled by women as mere fools.

2. The handy man smokes massive amounts of crack cocaine and, after passing the bong back and forth a few times she totaly forgets that she is a lesbian and then she does the handy man. She would try once again to remind herself somehow the next morning to once and for all screw the godamm thing in this time. It was a daily ritual that required very much memory and wind power until one day they both found themselves homeless and somewhat high on crack, and finally converted to solar.

THE END?

: ]
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Old 12-06-2002, 12:09 PM   #128
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Quote:
Originally posted by j03L10T

1. I created the lesbian in the joke therefore as HER creator I maintain...
You should probably get a copy of The Sims so you can work out these power fantasies in a safe venue. :-)

<i>How many Centauri does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, but in the great old days of the Republic hundreds of servants would leap to change a thousand lightbulbs at our slightest whim!</i>
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Old 12-06-2002, 12:13 PM   #129
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tobiasly

I think 95% of women have just a touch of lesbian in 'em.
Can't be...because 10% of them have more than "just a touch". :-)
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Old 12-06-2002, 12:17 PM   #130
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Quote:
Originally posted by MaggieL

You should probably get a copy of The Sims so you can work out these power fantasies in a safe venue. :-)<i></i>
C'mon now, you are challenging original humor with historic facts. I don't really put much thought into these posts and that should be obvious. You seem to be analyzing it a bit too much, albeit equally as harmless as a good poke or two at an original joke. And the name of this thread is..? Thanks for the input though: ], and good for the godesses of today and yesteryear- in both fact and legend.

:]
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Old 12-06-2002, 12:37 PM   #131
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Quote:
Originally posted by blowmeetheclown
Why don't most guys like to eat vegetables?
I dunno, but I am visually approaching this question soley from the point of view of the guy on the other side of an ink blot, and I really do this sort of thing just for fun. Not to offend anyone in any case. Here is my best guess: Most guys prefer their meat dead and already cooked? How'd I do this time?

: ]
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Old 12-06-2002, 12:38 PM   #132
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Quote:
Originally posted by blowmeetheclown
Why don't most guys like to eat vegetables?
vegetables? thats what food eats!

~james
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Old 12-06-2002, 02:26 PM   #133
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Quote:
Originally posted by blowmeetheclown
Why don't most guys like to eat vegetables?
If she's brain-dead why waste the time on foreplay.
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Old 12-06-2002, 02:32 PM   #134
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Quote:
Originally posted by j03L10T
2. The handy man smokes massive amounts of crack cocaine and, after passing the bong back and forth a few times
Okay now .... let's get the paraphenalia nomenclature straight here.

A bong is a water-pipe used for smoking marijuana.

Crack cocaine is smoked using a "stem" which does not contain a water chamber, and may be constructed of glass (for fancy upscale users) or the largest piece of a telescoping antenna (your basic, average, crack stole my life users). I have confiscated more antennas, although the cleverest version I saw came from a prisoner who had fashioned a combination shiv, potato peeler & crack stem in his spare time at the county correctional facility.
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Old 12-06-2002, 03:39 PM   #135
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Quote:
Originally posted by blowmeetheclown
Why don't most guys like to eat vegetables?
The wheelchairs get in the way.

Perth - I have that Shoe cartoon up on my wall. Good one!
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