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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 05-06-2007, 06:06 PM   #181
Happy Monkey
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"What kind of porn?" What, you think that you can catch "gay" from porn?
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Old 05-06-2007, 06:08 PM   #182
Aliantha
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Porn is porn. If a person is gay then they're likely to be turned on by gay porn I suppose, in which case that's an entirely different thread.

I don't happen to be of the belief that someone is going to 'turn gay' by looking at gay porn for example.

To answer your question though, I would expect my kids to look at porn, if in fact they haven't already done so. To believe otherwise would make me incredibly naive.

As I've said, my aim as a parent is to give them the tools to make the right decisions, not make all their decisions for them.
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Old 05-06-2007, 06:14 PM   #183
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Originally Posted by Aliantha View Post
Porn is porn. If a person is gay then they're likely to be turned on by gay porn I suppose, in which case that's an entirely different thread.

I don't happen to be of the belief that someone is going to 'turn gay' by looking at gay porn for example.

To answer your question though, I would expect my kids to look at porn, if in fact they haven't already done so. To believe otherwise would make me incredibly naive.

As I've said, my aim as a parent is to give them the tools to make the right decisions, not make all their decisions for them.
Well I certainly agree with your statement that looking at gay porn is in someway going to turn them into a gay person, because I don't believe that is true, but that was not the question. The question was would you approve and allow your teen to do so?
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Old 05-06-2007, 06:20 PM   #184
Aliantha
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I don't think it matters if I approve or not. They will find a way to do it if they want to, and quite frankly, I don't think porn is a big deal.

I like looking at it. I see no reason that my kids wouldn't. I don't believe porn to be evil and honestly, I think most of the people who post porn pics on 'free porn' sites are doing it because they like it, so I don't buy the arguments about degredation etc.

Of course I don't want my kids to 'get into' porn when they're young, but I do expect them to look at it. It's going to happen regardless of what I do or say, so as I said, give them the tools, let them make the right decisions.
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Old 05-06-2007, 06:40 PM   #185
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Of course I don't want my kids to 'get into' porn when they're young, but I do expect them to look at it. It's going to happen regardless of what I do or say, so as I said, give them the tools, let them make the right decisions.
I don't want to misunderstand you... tool = internet. tool = how you bring them up. your teen looking at porn is ok because they are going to do it anyway. No?
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Old 05-06-2007, 06:47 PM   #186
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The tools I'm refering to are knowing right from wrong, social conscience, good judgement etc.

Yes, they're going to do it and yes it's ok provided they have the 'tools' to recognise why they're doing it and what the possible consequences and or outcomes are likely to be.

As a note, I'd probably prefer that they didn't look at porn till they're a bit older, but as I said earlier, I think it'd be naive of me to believe they wont. History tells us all that kids will do these types of things for many different reasons, but one of the big reasons is the fact that they're taboo.

If I take those sorts of taboos out of the equation, I hope that they recognise porn for what it is instead of doing it because they think what they're doing is wrong.
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Old 05-06-2007, 06:50 PM   #187
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Yes, they're going to do it and yes it's ok provided they have the 'tools' to recognise why they're doing it and what the possible consequences and or outcomes are likely to be.
As much as a teen wants you to believe that they have this capacity I am not sure that they do... But if you ask them, they are the smartest mofo's on the earth.
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Old 05-06-2007, 06:59 PM   #188
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I'm fairly familiar with how teenagers think. I'm also aware that teenagers have a lot to offer and that it's what we do as parents which affects how they are as adults.

I don't see the point in treating a teenager as if they have no self determination when they obviously, and rightly do have self determination. A teenager, like any other human being, knows what they want, and if given the opportunity will be able to explain why they want it. They, like the rest of us, are products of their environment up until they are released from parental controls at which time they are answerable and responsible for and to themselves. It's at this time that the true indication of a good versus bad parenting becomes apparent.

I would rather over estimate than under estimate my child although I intend to make sure I do neither. It's nice just to know that they're doing ok and to see the outcomes of allowing them room to think for themselves.
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Old 05-06-2007, 07:18 PM   #189
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I'm fairly familiar with how teenagers think. I'm also aware that teenagers have a lot to offer and that it's what we do as parents which affects how they are as adults.

I don't see the point in treating a teenager as if they have no self determination when they obviously, and rightly do have self determination. A teenager, like any other human being, knows what they want, and if given the opportunity will be able to explain why they want it. They, like the rest of us, are products of their environment up until they are released from parental controls at which time they are answerable and responsible for and to themselves. It's at this time that the true indication of a good versus bad parenting becomes apparent.

I would rather over estimate than under estimate my child although I intend to make sure I do neither. It's nice just to know that they're doing ok and to see the outcomes of allowing them room to think for themselves.
I respect that view and agree.
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Old 05-09-2007, 11:43 PM   #190
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I respect that view and agree.
How does your method "allow them room to think for themselves"? This is not a challenge but a genuine question. You may call me a bitch/troll/whatever for asking if it makes you feel good, but I'd rather that than no answer as this seems so contrary to your previous posts. Curious.

And how is gay porn worse than straight porn? I have no real interest in either, so perhaps I'm not the best judge, but I've seen both and it didn't affect my sexuality.
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Old 05-10-2007, 07:52 AM   #191
TheMercenary
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How does your method "allow them room to think for themselves"? This is not a challenge but a genuine question. You may call me a bitch/troll/whatever for asking if it makes you feel good, but I'd rather that than no answer as this seems so contrary to your previous posts. Curious.
I guess I could just coat their hands with superglue on a gasoline filled bottle and let them learn what it is like to get burned....
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Monster: Please can I coat it with superglue then light it while he's still holding it? What a troll. No wonder he has to exert such excessive parental control -his short-tempered paranoid name-calling aggression must have his kids hiding everything from him for fear of reprisals.

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And how is gay porn worse than straight porn? I have no real interest in either, so perhaps I'm not the best judge, but I've seen both and it didn't affect my sexuality.
I guess I don't think kids should look at porn. Adults have the right to look at porn anytime they want. But I don't consider Playboy and artistic nudity porn.
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Old 05-10-2007, 04:16 PM   #192
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Playboy is porn, just labeled soft-core porn nowadays.
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Old 05-10-2007, 07:47 PM   #193
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Playboy is porn, just labeled soft-core porn nowadays.
I know that your man told you that after he poured gasoline in your glass and superguled it to your hand. Just watch where you put your fingers after that. I would hate to hear that you had a chemical burn in your crotch.
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Old 05-10-2007, 07:51 PM   #194
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You have quite a vivid imagination, there.
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Old 05-10-2007, 08:19 PM   #195
bluecuracao
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Whoops...I was giving your imagination too much credit. Looks like you're confusing me with someone else. Pay attention, big dummy.
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