"You're Old!!!" moments

[be-bop]

I felt really really old at 9.02 pm yesterday when my baby gave birth to her baby and made me an official Granddad.
We went to see them today and Mum and my grand daughter are doing great.
While I was sitting in the hospital holding this brand new life in my arms I had a bit of a strange feeling 23 years ago i held my new born daughter in my arms and now I'm holding her daughter in my arms and I thought where do the years go?....

[xoxoxoBruce]

Nothing wrong with Old Grandad, my father drank it all the time.

[classicman]

Congrats be-bop! where do the years go indeed!

[jujuwwhite]

That's wonderful, Be-Bop! I'm glad to hear the little family is doing great!

[skysidhe]

Congratulations be-bop!

Recipes. I remember when you had to call a friend to find out about a recipe. Now there's the internet.

[spudcon]

Most recent, I was telling a 62 year old woman about how the government wouldn't allow margarine manufacturers to add yellow dye to their product.

[Clodfobble]

Yep, you're old all right.

[Urbane Guerrilla]

Mortality's sable wings, is what.

[jujuwwhite]

I came upon this last night and thought this might be an appropriate place for it...

As I Mature

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others-they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and the less important ones just never go away.

Pass this along to 5 friends...trust me they'll appreciate it. Who knows maybe somthing good will happen.

If not...tough SHIT!

[xoxoxoBruce]

60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS): As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

· A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think..

· If a woman over 50 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.

· Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

· Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

· Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.

· Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

· Older women are forthright and honest… They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one… You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

· Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize..

· For all those men who say, ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

[Griff]

With the gray infiltration in my goatee, I'd been getting a lot of "Sir" from cashiers wait staff etc... So I trimmed it back to a lower lip brush and got a solid "Man" today. Much better.

[monster]

the ma'am kills me... I have purple hair ffs, don't ma'am me!

[squirell nutkin]

Spoken: "Ma'am"
Thought: "...the purple hair isn't fooling anyone."

[monster]

yup. fuckers. still card me, though....

maybe I should top the purple hair with a red hat?

[squirell nutkin]

I don't know, I'm thinkin' more Little Nellish...