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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 08-21-2004, 07:55 PM   #1
Clodfobble
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SO... FRUSTRATED...

My stepson is a picky eater, to put it mildly. Assuming you count all kinds of crackers under one heading, I can literally count on one hand the foods he will semi-reliably eat. Then I can add in the number of foods he has ever even put in his mouth, without needing any of my toes.

My husband and I are not pushovers. Dinner is what it is, and if he won't eat it, well, he'll be hungrier at the next meal (and for Christ's sake, we're not serving him liver and brussels sprouts, it's freaking macaroni and cheese, and hotdogs, and chicken nuggets, and pizza, and, and, and...). If he tries even one bite of anything that's in front of him he can have one of the staple foods he'll eat, but that's only worked once. Tonight we upgraded to "unless you eat one bite of something on your plate, it's going to have to be bedtime right now." After throwing the requisite fit, and then spending an hour laying in bed, he informed us that he wanted to eat. He held a single tiny bite of canned pears in his mouth for a full three or four minutes, drank big gulps of water around it several times--and then spit it out.

I could stab my fucking eyes out, I really could.
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Old 08-21-2004, 08:41 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble
My stepson is a picky eater, to put it mildly. Assuming you count all kinds of crackers under one heading, I can literally count on one hand the foods he will semi-reliably eat. Then I can add in the number of foods he has ever even put in his mouth, without needing any of my toes.

My husband and I are not pushovers. Dinner is what it is, and if he won't eat it, well, he'll be hungrier at the next meal (and for Christ's sake, we're not serving him liver and brussels sprouts, it's freaking macaroni and cheese, and hotdogs, and chicken nuggets, and pizza, and, and, and...). If he tries even one bite of anything that's in front of him he can have one of the staple foods he'll eat, but that's only worked once. Tonight we upgraded to "unless you eat one bite of something on your plate, it's going to have to be bedtime right now." After throwing the requisite fit, and then spending an hour laying in bed, he informed us that he wanted to eat. He held a single tiny bite of canned pears in his mouth for a full three or four minutes, drank big gulps of water around it several times--and then spit it out.

I could stab my fucking eyes out, I really could.
Has he been checked for food allergies? How old is he?
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Old 08-21-2004, 09:46 PM   #3
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I was the same way. Bad news - I still won't eat seafood or salads.
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Old 08-21-2004, 10:16 PM   #4
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My goodness, how old is he? Tell him he could have had it really bad and had Joan Crawford for a stepmommy (red meat anyone?).
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Old 08-21-2004, 10:41 PM   #5
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Has he been checked for food allergies? How old is he?

He's two and a half, allergic to peanuts and eggs (and nothing else, he had a full allergy workup after the discovery of the peanut reaction.)

I was the same way. Bad news - I still won't eat seafood or salads.

That's not so bad--at least you don't have to say "I only eat Ritz crackers."

Last edited by Clodfobble; 08-21-2004 at 10:44 PM.
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Old 08-22-2004, 01:31 AM   #6
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I have it on good authority that he will not actually starve.

He will eat. Do not cave in. Parental guilt is one hell of a motivator to cave in during the "i only want to eat fishsticks" battle.

Oh, and if he says he's going to hold his breath until he turns blue, just let him.

Assuming no actual airway obstructions, if he really toughs it out, he'll pass out and start breathing again normally.

Spectacular.

Most curtainmonkeys only try it once.
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Old 08-25-2004, 05:18 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf
I have it on good authority that he will not actually starve.

He will eat. Do not cave in. Parental guilt is one hell of a motivator to cave in during the "i only want to eat fishsticks" battle.

Oh, and if he says he's going to hold his breath until he turns blue, just let him.

Assuming no actual airway obstructions, if he really toughs it out, he'll pass out and start breathing again normally.

Spectacular.

Most curtainmonkeys only try it once.

Very true. The kid won't starve. Or suffocate.

I don't have this problem, since lil Sidhe will eat almost anything you put in front of her. There are a few things she won't eat, but that's probably only because it's too fast for her to catch.

Don'tcha just love the art of temper-tantrum throwing? I just ignore it when it happens, and it usually stops--or stick the kid in a room and tell them that when they're done, they can come out.

The kid'll eat. Don't worry. Why not try topping crackers with stuff, like EZ cheez, or make pizza crackers (crackers with cheese, sauce, and hamburger or something on top). Make it a game. Hell, feed him nothing but crackers. He'll get over that addiction soon enough, if that's all he gets for a year....


Sidhe
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Old 08-22-2004, 01:34 AM   #8
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Oh, and just stop buying the foods that he demands to eat. Serve only the one's he's refusing. No bargaining. You're the mommy. He's the kid.
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Old 08-22-2004, 09:04 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by wolf
Oh, and just stop buying the foods that he demands to eat. Serve only the one's he's refusing. No bargaining. You're the mommy. He's the kid.
This is me. If you don't want them eating it, don't buy it. You are not responsible for what the kid eats, just for what you offer. Sometimes their favorite things need to go away for a awhile so they can explore other things - with my kids it's breakfast cereal. I don't mind them having it per say, but when they start eating it to the exclusoin of all other foods, I stop buying it
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Old 08-22-2004, 02:04 AM   #10
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I sympathize. Our daughter actually threw up zucchini after we insisted that she eat a couple bites. She's quite the drama queen.
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Old 08-22-2004, 02:22 AM   #11
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You're the mommy. He's the kid.
HOOOOOYAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!

We went thru this with my step son , he was in the fishsticks and mac + cheese catagory .
This kid would pick out specks of onion POWDER from soup !!!
One time after church we went to Red Lobster for lunch , I told the waitress we would have 4 sweet iced teas( me , my wife , step son , and step daughter ) and an order of calamri while we deseded what we whanted to eat . Michael was evedently hungery when the food and drinks arived and dug in to the calimari , His mom and I just looked at each other funny as he continued to dig in . I told him what he was eating was squid , he didn't beleve me . When the waitress came back I asked he what it was that michael was eating , she said calimiri , yes but what is camari ?? i asked , she said squid . I thought Michaels face was going to turn in side out But he kept on eating it .
Now he is telling me how good susie is !!!!!
Weird how these things turn out , ain't it
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Old 08-22-2004, 07:54 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zippyt
Now he is telling me how good susie is !!!!!
Man, I hope I don't regret asking, but what (or who) is susie?

Several of my friends have been successful with the "he'll eat when he's hungry" approach. In general, although it might make you feel like a better parent or more reasonable person (which, don't forget, a 2 1/2 year-old is not), the less bargaining and game playing about food, the more compliance and peace at the table.

Thank goodness, my kids haven't been so picky as to refuse to eat, but one of them doesn't like dissimilar foods to touch. To this day (she's 12), she's never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
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Old 08-22-2004, 09:25 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by SteveDallas
I sympathize. Our daughter actually threw up zucchini after we insisted that she eat a couple bites. She's quite the drama queen.
It's not all drama. From my memories as a picky eater, she may have actually been nauseous. Probably psychosomatic, but real nonetheless.
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Old 08-22-2004, 06:45 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Monkey
It's not all drama. From my memories as a picky eater, she may have actually been nauseous. Probably psychosomatic, but real nonetheless.
My parents tried their hardest to get me to eat any melon aside from watermelon. They figured I was just being stubborn and picky and it took them several months and a few vomiting episodes to realize that melon actually makes me ill. I don't know why, don't know if there's an actual allergy to honeydew and cantelope, but to this day, whenever I eat it, my stomach almost immediately and violently rejects it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by zippyt
I told him what he was eating was squid , he didn't beleve me . When the waitress came back I asked he what it was that michael was eating , she said calimiri , yes but what is camari ?? i asked , she said squid . I thought Michaels face was going to turn in side out But he kept on eating it .
My mom did the same thing to me with rabbit when I was a tot. She cooked one up and to me it looked like fried chicken, so I had no problem loading up my plate and promptly devouring it. I came back for seconds and while loading up my plate again, I asked why the chicken's bones looked funny. "That's because it's not chicken, it's rabbit." she said. I only paused for a second before continuing to load up the plate. It tasted good, so I figured what the heck.
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Old 05-01-2005, 12:02 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Monkey
It's not all drama. From my memories as a picky eater, she may have actually been nauseous. Probably psychosomatic, but real nonetheless.
I agree. I remember throwing up after being forced to eat macaroni and cheese when I was about ten. I hated it so much that it did make me that nauseous. I love it now, along with scrambled eggs, mustard, and a lot of other things that I couldn't bring myself to eat as a kid. Still hate peanut butter though, unless it's in a Reese's cup. But when I was younger, I honestly hated a lot of foods. I was not trying to be being difficult or controlling.
(I remember telling my Dad how good the chicken was he had cooked - better than Mom's, and when he informed me that it was rabbit, I immediately stopped eating. My great-aunt used to make the best apple pies, they were delicious until we realized that they were really green tomato pies. Funny how that works....)
Just stick to your guns and remember...he will outgrow it.
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