Why were you late for work

classicman · 04-06-2009, 10:04 PM

From CNN the top twelve excuses for being late.
I figure we can come up with some much more creative ones.

Here are 12 of the most outrageous excuses employers have heard for being late to work:

Quote:

1. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.

2. My husband thinks it's funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work.

3. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again.

4. I got locked in my trunk by my son.

5. My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work.

6. A gurney fell out of an ambulance and delayed traffic.

7. I was attacked by a raccoon and had to stop by the hospital to make sure it wasn't rabid.

8. I feel like I'm in everyone's way if I show up on time.

9. My father didn't wake me up.

10. A groundhog bit my bike tire and made it flat.

11. My driveway washed away in the rain last night.

12. I had to go to bingo.

Whatcha got cellarites?

ZenGum · 04-06-2009, 10:06 PM

Had one from a student recently. He was supposed to be giving a presentation with his partner, but was AWOL. Partner phones him and gets the following excuse:

My housemate locked the door when he left and I can't get out of my flat.

Crimson Ghost · 04-07-2009, 01:54 AM

I fell asleep on the shitter while solving a Sudoku.

Trilby · 04-07-2009, 03:22 AM

I always say my car was broken into.

Sun_Sparkz · 04-07-2009, 03:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crimson Ghost

I fell asleep on the shitter while solving a Sudoku.

Haha.
About 10 years ago i missed a day of school because my cousin (who walked me to the bus stop) needed to do a poo before we left, he took so long i missed the bus.

SteveDallas · 04-07-2009, 08:55 AM

I felt like the greatest contribution I could make to the world today would be to stay in bed and not inflict my presence on anybody. So I did. But then my wife wanted to make the bed so she threw me out. I figured if I had to be fucking miserable I might as well come in to work and share with everybody at the office.

Shawnee123 · 04-07-2009, 09:38 AM

Heh, I think I may have used something similar at my old job. I think I told my boss that no one would want to be around me that day...it was a joke based in reality.

This excuse is completely plausible for me:

Quote:

3. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again.

glatt · 04-07-2009, 09:57 AM

I was late because I was enjoying breakfast and reading the paper and just left a bit later than usual. Sorry.

Pie · 04-07-2009, 10:04 AM

I was late because I had better things to do -- like sleep.

Shawnee123 · 04-07-2009, 10:08 AM

I was late because there were a bunch of idiots on the interstate and I had to stop and kill a few of them.

Sheldonrs · 04-07-2009, 10:20 AM

Never been late for work, or anything, in my life. I'd rather get where I need to be 2 hours early than 1 minute late.

Queen of the Ryche · 04-07-2009, 10:26 AM

Wow Shel, you sure are anal.

lumberjim · 04-07-2009, 10:38 AM

I got to work late because I got home(from work) at 1 am, dickhole.

lookout123 · 04-07-2009, 11:00 AM

Once I had a supervisor giving me shit for being late. I pointed out the bar didn't close til three, I stayed til four, and as it was now 6:30 I was pretty sure I wasn't sober yet... He couldn't say much because he wasn't either and didn't want his boss to know.

Same guy busting my chops another time for being an hour late, he just walked away when my response was, "you saw that stripper right?".

My 20's are a blur.

Pico and ME · 04-07-2009, 11:07 AM

Last time I called in late I told them I couldnt leave until my husband came home because I grounded my stepson.

Pico and ME : Meany stepmom

04-06-2009, 10:06 PM	#2
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Had one from a student recently. He was supposed to be giving a presentation with his partner, but was AWOL. Partner phones him and gets the following excuse: My housemate locked the door when he left and I can't get out of my flat. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

04-07-2009, 01:54 AM	#3
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	I fell asleep on the shitter while solving a Sudoku. __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

04-07-2009, 03:22 AM	#4
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I always say my car was broken into. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

04-07-2009, 10:04 AM	#9
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	I was late because I had better things to do -- like sleep. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

04-07-2009, 10:08 AM	#10
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I was late because there were a bunch of idiots on the interstate and I had to stop and kill a few of them. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

04-07-2009, 08:55 AM	#6
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	I felt like the greatest contribution I could make to the world today would be to stay in bed and not inflict my presence on anybody. So I did. But then my wife wanted to make the bed so she threw me out. I figured if I had to be fucking miserable I might as well come in to work and share with everybody at the office.

04-07-2009, 09:57 AM	#8
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I was late because I was enjoying breakfast and reading the paper and just left a bit later than usual. Sorry.

04-07-2009, 10:20 AM	#11
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	Never been late for work, or anything, in my life. I'd rather get where I need to be 2 hours early than 1 minute late. __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

04-07-2009, 10:26 AM	#12
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	Wow Shel, you sure are anal. __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

04-07-2009, 10:38 AM	#13
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	I got to work late because I got home(from work) at 1 am, dickhole. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

04-07-2009, 11:00 AM	#14
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	Once I had a supervisor giving me shit for being late. I pointed out the bar didn't close til three, I stayed til four, and as it was now 6:30 I was pretty sure I wasn't sober yet... He couldn't say much because he wasn't either and didn't want his boss to know. Same guy busting my chops another time for being an hour late, he just walked away when my response was, "you saw that stripper right?". My 20's are a blur. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

04-07-2009, 11:07 AM	#15
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	Last time I called in late I told them I couldnt leave until my husband came home because I grounded my stepson. Pico and ME : Meany stepmom Last edited by Pico and ME; 04-07-2009 at 11:16 AM.

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