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Old 04-19-2017, 08:53 PM   #1531
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
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Well that, and the dick pics.
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Old 04-20-2017, 09:22 AM   #1532
footfootfoot
I may have overstated my temerity's degree of mitigation.
 
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Old 04-20-2017, 10:56 AM   #1533
BigV
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That was from the hotmale account.
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Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)
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Old 04-20-2017, 02:52 PM   #1534
Gravdigr
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Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 29,195
Hotmale.

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Old 05-16-2017, 10:47 PM   #1535
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
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Location: Austin, TX
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So at 4:00 AM this morning, Mr. Clod's phone suddenly goes nuts with texts. He initially assumes it's a work emergency, but no, they're from random people all saying, "Hey," "Hi," "What's up?" etc.

He starts engaging with these people, trying to figure out what the hell is going on, and eventually it becomes clear that someone has listed his number on a Craigslist bootycall post--actually not his number, just his number with a different-but-similar area code, and these are all the idiots trolling craigslist at 4 AM in Austin who also can't read for comprehension. (Which means god knows how many people correctly texted this supposed 23-year-old in need of a plowing...)

He tells everyone they have the wrong number, mystery solved, time to go back to bed--but being Mr. Clod, he can't pass up the opportunity to educate.

"But you do know these things are fake though, right?"
"What do you mean?"
"Look, if she were really a 23-year-old girl, she'd be using Tinder, not craigslist. This is either a pimp, or a porn website looking to drum up business, or most likely just a guy who gets off on sexting with other guys."
[Long pause] "Yeah, well, thanks for the tip."
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Old 05-16-2017, 11:12 PM   #1536
xoxoxoBruce
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Don't ask, you don't want to know.
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Old 05-17-2017, 09:48 AM   #1537
footfootfoot
I may have overstated my temerity's degree of mitigation.
 
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Location: in the house and on the street
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Boy Scout Merit Badge for Cyber-Citizenship goes to Mr. Clod!
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Old 05-17-2017, 12:21 PM   #1538
Gravdigr
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I'd have sent them pictures to haunt their dreams.
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Old 07-06-2017, 11:33 PM   #1539
Clodfobble
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There's an annual summer event here called "Jaws on the Water," where they put up a projection screen on the lakeshore and people float in inner tubes watching the movie. Pretty cute, yeah? Except I just found out that Mr. Clod's boss is one of a team of local scuba divers they hire to sneak up and grab people from under the water in the middle of the movie.
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Old 07-07-2017, 12:06 AM   #1540
xoxoxoBruce
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Then prepare your razor blade and poison spike chaps in advance.
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